Lorum Ipsum

Another Friday rolls round and another match report to compile.

Given what was to transpire, you’ll be surprised / shocked / staggered (please feel free to delete as appropriate) to read that I had a genuine sense of satisfaction after preparing the following teams, as I fully expected a low scoring game settled by the odd goal.

Yellows: me, Andy, Bristol Paul, Tom, Danny, Peter, Alessandro, Adolpho and Yev

Blues: Ian Baggies, Ian Gooner, Simon Gas, Tony, Mark, Joe, Mario, Ross and Paul

Ten plays nine there, although with Yev’s inevitable tardiness it was nine aside for the first ten minutes. And let the record state that Peter opined in the opening exchanges that the Yellow team were too weak and needed reinforcements.

The Yellows took the lead in that opening period, i.e. before Yev’s arrival, with the improving Alessandro crashing home with a fierce effort that fizzed into the bottom corner. (I think this was the first goal; there were quite a few to recall and my brain is turning to fudge in the heat). Thereafter the Yellows took a two goal lead, courtesy of Peter, (I think) – by this stage Yev was on the scene and he managed to cash in with a couple of goals.

I then took my stint in goal and shortly after parrying a dipping shot from Tony I managed to oversee the one Blue goal of the night; Andy went to intercept a cross from the Blues’ right, but the ball got stuck under his feet and Ross managed to steal in, take the ball around Andy and steer it into the empty net.

At this stage the two little sods who have clearly been taking lessons in how to be as irritating as possible were the cause of a five minute interregnum in proceedings. Having asked several times if they could play – answer: not likely – they then scampered off with one our balls again; I understand that Danny thought they had taken one of our bags. Cue much angst, an averted headbutt from Yev and a highly vocal exchange with Danny which resulted in the two lads being ushered away from the pitch.

It’s probably fair to say that this hiatus in proceedings fatally harmed the flow of the game. Tony became increasingly vocal with his disgruntlement about the fairness of the two teams as the goals continued to flow for the Yellows; I squared one for Peter to rifle in, (after I missed a great chance following a terrific centre from Alessandro); Danny burst up the touchline and passed home from a short distance and toward the end Andy bagged a couple.

By this stage things had become somewhat farcical, as we had the all too familiar sight of Tony trudging off disconsolately, soon followed by Mario and then Ian.

Other notable incidents, and there’s been a few recently, included Danny and Tony having a contretemps by the corner flag. Danny stood (just) the requisite few yards away from Tony as he took a corner and the outspoken Brexiteer took the opportunity to blast the ball at Danny’s arse not once, not twice, but three times. As Tom said, time to turn the other cheek. 

And there was still time for another flare up as they tussled on the touchline.

All in all, a week to forget. David suggested I post the blog in lorum ipsum. Perhaps you would agree?

PS – A sighting of the lesser spotted Spizz before the game, as the Arthur Daley of punk stopped on his push bike on his way to the Roundhouse to see The Skids to deliver some flyers. More news to follow…