Monday 20 June 2011

Next goal wins!


It’s been a long time since I heard that phrase used in a context other than a Ron Manager-style nostalgia-fest, but I heard it on Friday night and the next goal duly won. On an evening when the British Summer seemed like a cruel joke and with the scores at 10-5 to the team in colours, Boro Dave suggested that we finish playing with the next goal, as it had become apparent that the 7.40 crew had cried off due to the monsoon enveloping north London. A hoof forward resulted in an over-the-head free kick off of Dave A and Ian Geary tapped the ball sideways for Steve A to rifle in the bottom right hand corner of the net and decide the match in favour of the team who were losing 10-5.

That was, I think, Steve A’s hat-trick on the night (he also hit the metalwork a couple of times, once with a shot that literally sang off the crossbar and soared high into the air) – Danny (who I thought was man of the match) bagged another for the team in bibs with Ross also on the score-sheet. The other bibbers were myself, Andy and Joe up against Dave A, Simon Gas, Paul, Yev, Boro Dave, Mick and Simon Inkpen. Yev and Dave terrorised the bibs with some characteristically menacing forward play and both bagged at least a brace, albeit with the aid of some goalkeeping slips from myself (mind you, the ball was so wet it felt like it had been greased with margarine). With Mick pulling the strings in midfield it was a tiring night, although the bibs showed much determination to come back from 5-1 at one stage and with better shooting may have got nearer the ten goals that the colours scored.

One of Yev’s goals was one of those acute angle finishes that appeared to have bent the known three dimensions, although the ball did appear to pick up backspin having come off Andy’s arm. That said, there was at least one goal scored at the other end that slithered through the keeper’s arms on a night that was as wet as an otter’s pocket. In fact, so heavy and relentless was the rain that by eight o’clock I felt like I was wearing chain mail (and played as much, to be fair).

With the golden goal ending proceedings on the field we repaired to the Fountain’s Head where talk centred on next Friday’s end-of-season gala evening which this year will take place in an American diner in Hoxton. Simon Gas has stated with some gravitas that this place has a ‘Chilled Out Vibe’ – I can’t imagine there are too many instances when Simon would use the word ‘vibe’, although I expect he deploys the adjective ‘chilled’ on a regular basis when ordering his butler to prepare a bottle of Chablis for dinner.

So, until Friday, when we can experience the Chilled Out Vibe in all it’s glory.

Friday 17 June 2011

This post comes entirely from hearsay in the pub!!


Dear Readers, this post comes entirely from hearsay in the pub because last
Friday (June 12th, 2011) I went to Westminster Cathedral to the ordination of
five former Anglican vicars to the Ordinariate. This is a special ministry invented
by the current Pope, Benedict, otherwise known as the Panzerkardinal. This ministry
allows Anglican vicars, even if they are married, to be fast-tracked into the
Roman Catholic Church. This is despite the tinsy-weensy problem that the Universal
Church exacts a rule of celibacy from normal Catholic priests. Did I say normal?
I should have said real Catholic priests.

In any event, the two hour service started at 5.30pm so no way could I get to the game but I could amble along to the pub to get the post-mortem. The game ended
4-3 after the winning team was losing 1-3 at one stage. Apparently, there was
a bit of hand-bags between Big Dave and Boro Dave (the clash of the Daves).
If I was there I could have put my conflict resolution skills to good use
(I have not really got any!!). I don't even know if Spizz played or not.

I hope to play tonight (I have'nt been rotated yet!!) and I hope to get a three quid
discount on a) my bipolar disorder, b) my cancer, c)nobody passes to me and d)
a small honorarium for doing the blogs, although I would share the specific element
of the discount with Gooner Simon, who does excellent blogs.

Next week is our last game before the summer break and I think we are going to
some new American burger joint in Hoxton, which will be a change. Usually for
any end-of-season meals we tend to go to a curry and then complain it was a load of rubbish.

Thursday 9 June 2011

Last week saw a pulsating 2-2 draw!!

For the first time the Spizz irregulars managed to pick two matched and fair sides. It was a bit hot and sunny with Danny the
Diplomat actually playing with a baseball hat in the second half when we changed ends; an event which young Sam described as unprecedented!!

The first goal came when Mick K. with pure Brummie skill drove a rising left-foot shot early from a free-kick pass. It was a wonderful goal only marred by the fact that Mick did not come to the pub afterwards to talk it through. One factor was that I was Mick's marker and should have been a lot tighter.

This goal came after a long period at 0-0. We came storming back with Alex getting the equaliser with a bouncing shot while Danny got us ahead with a lovely long-range
shot. Perhaps we could have secured a convincing win if Joe had his shooting boots on but at least he got into the positions. I set him up in a central position and Joe could have chosen left or right but it was not to be. Big Ian said I had bottled it and should have got a shot off. However, Joe was in the far better position and
I had my back to goal.

The equaliser came dramatically when Stevie A. was judged to have played the ball in the area. What happened was the ball bounced off his head when he was standing on the penalty spot. His brother Big Dave said that no way it was a penalty while Big Ian commented that he did not believe a word the Ayr United supporter said
(about close football decisions). Yev strolled up and slotted the penalty in the top corner.

Spizz is playing in North London this Saturday check the website www.spizzenergi.com
while my local cafe is holding an art exhibition Saturday June 25th. This is
Chase Lounge, which is located at 129 Chase Side, Enfield, EN2 6NN.

Still no luck on the discount but the last match of the season is on June 24th and maybe I will have better luck in September.