Waterworld

With The Guvnor currently incapacitated with something or other, (diphtheria? rickets?), I resumed blogging duties for Friday 5th October’s game. I will be taking a slightly more traditional approach to the ‘match report’ following Paul’s blog from last week which suggested fines for people deemed not to have passed sufficiently often, as well as those who have not “put in a shift”, (with the cash in the latter case going to Simon Gas. As if he needs the money). I’ve never read a match report from someone who left before the end of the game either, but not for nothing does The Guvnor have a reputation as a maverick.

Friday’s game was played amidst the sort of driving, relentless rain that you could expect to find on the bridge of a ship, or in a film set in a dimly-lit dystopian future starring someone like Kevin Costener or Mel Gibson. The somewhat inclement weather may have been partly responsible for the relatively low turn-out, with two teams of six each.

From memory, they lined up as follows

Bibs – Phil, Matt of the flaxen hair, Wing Commander Will, Sam, Simon Gas, Joe

Colours – Boro Dave, Danny, Alex, Mick, Simon Inky, me

Despite a closely fought opening, with the two teams sharing the first four goals, the game turned into something of a rout, although the possession stats would have looked reasonably even.  The final score was 11-3 to the Colours, with Boro Dave on fire – not literally, Jamie Redknapp, (in case you’re reading) – and Alex providing the Teessider with the ammunition. The pick of Dave’s goals was a real picturesque effort, with Mick pinging the ball through to Dave on the edge of the ‘D’ and Dave backheeling the ball with his first touch and into the net. Despite the slippery conditions there were relatively few keeping blunders, although Matt scored with a shot that I should have been able to stop. Some wayward finishing combined with increasingly miraculous goalkeeping prevented the Bibs from scoring more than three goals – during Simon Ink’s spell in goal he ‘saved’ a shot , seeing the ball ricochet off both of his ankles and fly over the bar. It had turned into one of those evenings by the end where everything that the Colours tried was coming off – Mick fizzing the ball in from the half way line, Dave receiving the ball with his back to goal and still managing to turn, shoot and score and most bizarrely Simon Ink tackling Sam for a loose ball and then watching it squirm beyond the keeper for the eleventh goal. I couldn’t score mind, with my best effort coming back off the far post as I attempted a Norman Whiteside-style finish.

Following the end of the game and some more heroics from Dave (he had to retrieve the ball from the playschool behind the goal) Mick, Sam (who had returned from a post-match fit of pique), Simon Gas, Danny and myself repaired to the Old Fountain, which was very busy.  Topics of conversation included the 2012 Christmas party and the fact that we should go to the White Lion next Friday as they have more seats and Simon Gas is keen to renew the acquaintance of the delightful russet barmaid, although she may have grown her Winter coat by now.