Monday 22 March 2010

Gashead's team cruise to 5-1 victory on Friday!! Classification of players!!

Despite my illness and the sorry state of the railway service I made it to watch the game on Friday night. When I eventually arrived after the start it was a close 1-1 draw but then it turned into a rout with Gashead's team cruising to a 5-1 victory. Gashead picked all the players he liked for his team such as Tone, Yev, Big Sam and Alan Morg, who are quite quick and good passers of the ball and then stuffed the opposition team with all the players he does not like such as Simon Ink., Geoff and perhaps the great man himself Spizz . These players don't like passing or can't pass. The opposition also had Alex, who is the best player on the field skillwise but again can't pass. It was Alex and Big Dave, who kept the opposition in it for so long.

There was one opportunity when Simon Ink. just had to backheel a freekick to Big Dave, who is famous for his powerhouse shots but Ink. lamely passed it to someone else, who was already marked. Ink. was oblivious to Dave's screams for the ball, possibly his ears were still affected by his recent trip to the Himalayas.

A few times Spizz was in so much room on the left it was embarrassing but he did he get the ball, well of course not. I would suggest a more mathematical or equation based
formula to selecting the teams. Players would be graded A, B and C and then we would have Venn diagram-based selection for the two teams. The A category players would be
Alex, Big Dave, his brother Stevo, Tone, Big Sam, Alan Morg. Mick K., Yev and Ross.
These are players, who can make things happen, who can produce.

Then, the B category are good players, who can pass the simple ball such as Gashead Simon, Doha Danny, Joe and Gooner Simon. Spizz and Henry are good players and are very useful attack-wise but let themselves down by not running back and by not passing.
Big Ian has more lard than you can imagine but he still has a turn of space from representing his school at county level in running. West Bromwich Ian has a good all-round game, quite good in goal but often shoots from too far out where his conversion rate of shots to goals is normally zero.

The C category include myself due to age, ailments and lack of fitness. Simon Ink. is a good dribbler, good in goal but is not a great passer, more head-down. Then there is Geoff, who is often late arriving for the game and is very inconsistent. He can either score a hat trick but nornally he can take absolutely ages in distributing the ball. Historically, Geoff never passes to me except during the last game I played in January when I fell over in shock. On the plus side he also one of the best goalkeepers with Big Dave and Gashead Simon.

Sheffield Andy's best position is also in goal or in central defence as a blocker because he has long limbs and is quite big. However, he often insists on hugging the touchline upfront, which is probably the wrong strategy in seven-a-side football.

The four best players are Big Dave, Mick K., Alex and Tone. Big Dave is also very proficient in Italian-style defending. Tone leads the vets (over 50s), which include
me, the oldest, Spizz and Simon. Alex Morg. is very good but only has one foot while
Ross is exceptional dribbling and shooting but is not one to track back. Yev has a killer instinct in front of goal, is very pacey but you could die of boredom, if you are waiting for a simple pass from him.

So last Friday's game was seven a side and Gashead Simon picked four A category players and three Bs for his side. Then, there were two As, three Bs and two Cs for the opposition, so no wonder they were eventually slaughtered. I was available for selection before a bout of chemo but apparently I am being rotated. It would have been a far tighter game if Big Sam had swapped over for Geoff or Simon Ink.

On a more sentimental note Simon Ink's girlfriend was still waiting for him even after his two month plus sabbatical in the Far East and Australia, which was quite romantic in this day and age. This contrasts with my position at the moment where the missus is giving me the ache.

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