This is football 'eritage

(Full match report to follow)....

From Generalissimo Tanner himself:

After the November 1917 revolution, White Russians would sell their clothes to raise funds in street markets. What Simon Jarvis caught there was not a Chas and Dave picture but a hard-edged commercial transaction of me trying to sell Mick my trainers. He has already taken a deer stalker hat and a Viet Nam cap and he has promised to pay me soon.

On the testimonial front, Ross is going to play a musical interlude like Superbowl. Petula is looking forward to wearing her Jamaica shirt. Sam Darg, who amazingly is living up North somewhere, says he will try and come.

The theme for the testimonial is "this is eritage" and I am scouting for a ref. Paul Colston? Me and Mick spent a good half hour talking about tracking back and the art of the block. We decided not to discuss passing but because that seems to be beyond redemption.

Please put May 25th in your diaries. I am going to ask La Senora Fernandez Rodriguez de la Parroquia de Xuances if I can put a thousand pounds behind the bar.

Following from Paul’s marvellous stream of consciousness post earlier this week, I’ve found some time to write a belated match report from last Friday’s game.

It was very much a case what might have been, as my two carefully selected teams, artfully poised to counter balance one another, were rendered useless by the fact that Antonio never turned up.

As such, we ended up with something of a mismatch that even the tardy addition of a ringer couldn’t compensate for. Here are your two teams:

Yellows: Danny, Patrick, Mario, Paul, Liam, Mick, Stu, Michele

Blues: me, David, Simon Gas, Joe, Nick, Ross, James, ringer (not Antonio)

The Yellow team steamed into a three goal lead before the ten minute mark was up – it was at this point Simon Gas invited on a ringer, who in all fairness did quite well. But the dye was already cast and with the Yellow team enjoying the fillip of Danny ending his spell in goal, the game got harder and harder for the Blues to stay in. By the end of the match there were passes going astray and people leaving the ball for one another in true ‘After you, Claude’ style  - the Yellows could have had more than their seven goals had they got their finishing right.

I’ll have a go at recalling some of the goals – Liam was in potent form and snaffled one by hanging off David’s shoulder; Mario also scored and I think Michele capped a typically impressive performance with at least one goal. James got one of the two Blues’ goals, for what it’s worth. 

Final score: Yellows 7 – Blues 2

Perhaps more memorable then what was ultimately a disappointing game of football was some of the conversation from the pub, where Ross, David and myself ignored the England game on the box for some wistful chat about girls we once knew (or more accurately, their chests). 

I hope you all had a good Easter weekend… see you next Friday for a calorie burning session.