You can call me Al(phonso/essandro/berto/ etc. etc.)

Welcome back, one and all, to episode four of the 2017/18 Spizzenergi football blog.

A double report this week, the second half of which comes thanks to Paul’s extremely detailed dispatch over the weekend just gone. But first, news of Friday 29^th September’s game, which featured two teams that lined up thusly:

Yellows: me, Ian Gooner, Simon, Danny, Liam, Patrick, Nick (Joe’s mate), Ross, Adolpho, Paul (Guvnor)

Blues: Geoff, David, Mick, Michele, Yev, Joe, Peter, Alessandro and Alan

A nice, tight game this one, with the Yellow team prevailing by the odd goal in eleven. Alessandro got things underway for the Blues with a deft shoe-shuffle followed by a rasping effort which slammed into the top corner on the near post and promptly lead to Danny ending his sojourn in goal with immediate effect. Also on target for the Blues were Yev, who grabbed a brace, while Alan toiled in vain for a goal and uncharacteristically fluffed his lines on a couple of occasions when well placed.

On the mark for the Yellows was Nick, who got at least one goal, including a typically elegant finish for what proved to be the winner, Liam, who continues to belie Gordon Strachan’s dismissal of his fellow countrymen as being “genetically behind” by both being under six foot and consistently deadly in front of goal, and none other than myself. (My goal was a real thing of beauty, capitalising on Alessandro dropping the ball in front of me whereupon I threw my ‘burly’ frame into the ‘keeper and backheeled home from all of two yards).

On the subject of the Italians, of whom we seemingly have more and more each week, some of our players need to be aware that they have different names, some of which start with the letter ‘A’, but some do not. Last week we had calls for ‘Alessandro’, ‘Alphonso’, ‘Adolpho’ and ‘Alberto’: there were two people playing called ‘Alessandro’ and ‘Adolpho’ and sometimes the people calling their name were directing their shouts at the players with that name, but at other times they weren’t. And last word on this game goes to Adolpho, who I have just remembered opened the scoring for the Yellow with a tremendous goal that saw the midfield maestro juggle the ball off his chest and volley home from the halfway line. He then had the unbelievable good grace to apologise for shooting, as he (correctly) surmised that there wasn’t too much else on.

Final score: Yellows 6 – Blues 5

And onto the Skinners where the evening’s stand-out event was Ian celebrating his freedom from the tyranny of home loans by standing a round of Laphroaig to toast being mortgage free at fifty-three. Chapeau, big man.

I missed last Friday’s match as I was out with work colleagues trying to foster some esprit de corps. But Paul messaged over a comprehensive round up of the action, on and off the field, which I’ll endeavour to convey now.

I am reliably informed that Friday’s match was another relatively evenly contested affair, with Michele getting a great goal for the Yellow team. (It would seem that his compatriots have had enough of being wrongly identified, as he was the only Italian playing).

Also on the scoresheet was Mick, who apparently caught Simon Gas unawares by clipping home into the Chief Executive’s near post; his son Stan also had a good game by all accounts, with Paul likening his passing to Spanish legend Xabi Alonso.

However, the Blue team ran out 4-3 winners thanks to what Paul labelled a ‘goal blitz’ (in true tabloid style) from Patrick, as well as a great performance from Yev, no doubt aided by the fact he turned up on time.

Also mentioned in dispatches were Charlie, doing some sterling defensive work for the Blues, and the Caledonian triumvirate of Liam, Mark and Steve for the Yellows, who could not quite do enough to force the draw despite a strong final ten minutes.

With the average age being younger than usual it sounds like a good game to have missed and it would seem I was not the only one, with Bristol Paul being absent – somewhat implausibly – playing golf in Northampton ahead of Rovers’ game there on Saturday.

And it would appear that congratulations are in order as Ross has accepted a proposal of marriage – Paul didn’t say otherwise, so one can only assume this is from his long-term partner and the mother of his daughter, as opposed, say, to his long-term bandmate Simon Ink. We wish them well.

In other off the field news I am told that no fewer than three people have attempted to coax Tony back to the fray, but presumably he’s busy helping David Davis with the Brexit negotiations.

I’ll end this week’s post with a verbatim quote from Paul’s report:

Danny had a strong performance and suggest[ed] a comedy evening for the Xmas bash, but don't we see comedy every Friday.