Monday, 2 June 2014

Monday briefing

Good morning, footballers. I’m going to get a nice early start in this week to compensate for the past two week’s tardiness in posting the blog. Hopefully I won’t forget as many goals, either (eh Mick?)

On another pleasantly warm Friday evening Simon Gas selected the following two teams:

Blues: me*, Mario, Simon Ink, Liam, Bristol Paul, Paul ‘Guvnor’, Simon Gas

Yellows: Alan*, Yev, Dave, Daniel, Mick, Nick

*(Alan and I were switched after the Yellows surged into a rapid three-nil lead).

In a veritable orgy of goal-scoring, an evening which began with the assorted players being unable to take to the field of play as a result of a closed side-gate eventually ended at around 8.15 pm, as there was no-one to come on and replace us. By this stage the total number of goals had reached the high teens - with seven playing six there was both plenty of space and tired legs.

In amongst the goals this week were Simon Ink, who bagged at least four (the majority of which were tidy finishes from one-on-ones with the ‘keeper), Alan, who scored for both teams (one of his ‘Blue’ goals was a tribute to his refusal to give up on lost causes as he followed in a rebound from about three feet out), Mario, Yev (who when informed by Simon that he needed to go to the opposite side of the park enquired whether this was in an easterly or westerly direction), myself (I know, who’d have thought) but somewhat bizarrely not Liam.

Having seen the Blues roar ahead by three goals Simon Gas decided to try and rebalance things, with Alan and myself switching sides. Having joined the Blues’ ranks I must confess to being somewhat wrong-footed, almost literally, by the sight of Paul ‘The Guvnor’ stripping down to what I must  describe as a very skimpy pair of pants in what one can only assume is a worrying aping of a fashion trend initially set by Yev. Carry on at this rate and it will look like the Benny Hill Show out there.

Trousers or no trousers, the Blues remained ahead throughout the remainder of the game, although the Yellows’ efforts did grow in number, but with a pair of sturdy Bristols at the back (© Mick) in Simon Gas and Paul shooting on target proved difficult for the Yellow team.

The Yellows’ ranks contained a number of excellent players, including Mario’s mate Daniel, but they possibly lacked a little defensive discipline at the back, which ultimately cost them. It would be false modesty for me not to relay details of my two (TWO) goals: the first was a side-footed finish from the edge of the area via a centre from Mario which took a bit of a deflection and the second came courtesy of Liam crowding out the defender to leave a two against one situation; despite the plaintive beseeching of Liam to pass, I elected to shoot and happily my left footed effort glided past Dave in nets.

Final score: (something like) 9 -6 to the Blues.

A decent turn-out at the Skinners this week, with the England v Peru game on TV as a distraction. Liam, Alan and I swapped stories of real ale, Buckfast and ringing girls in the days before mobile phones meant that you could not bypass the young lady’s father. The evening ended with an update on the political situation in Thailand from Yev and a rather off-colour conversation about Camilla Parker-Bowles.

See you Friday.

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