Dear Reader, hopefully this will work out! Spizz returns.

Gashead Simon writes the match report.
Friday 16 December
Do they know it’s Christmas?
The last game of the year, a whole three weeks before the next game with an orgy of eating and drinking in-between called Christmas … surely there would be a big turnout at the Finsbury Leisure Centre on Friday 16 December? Well, no actually. So, well done to those nine hardy players who took to the Astroturf on a decidedly crisp evening and a black mark to those who cried off at the last minute, citing ‘other plans’ – we know who you are and what you were up to!
A winter’s tale
With Simon Jarvis away and Joe holidaying in Havana, the thorny task of team selection was left to Mick, who, redefining the word decisiveness, took 5 seconds to do what seems to take most of us an eternity. So, for the last match of the year, the sides were: Simon, Boro Dave, Yevgeny, young Sam and Geoff against Ross, Alan, Mick, Hugh and Danny. On paper, seemingly balanced, you would think, but, in reality, slightly lopsided, especially when one of your team has not turned up (no prizes for guessing who!).
Immediately, both sides went on the attack and, as predictably as night follows day, immediately the defensive mistakes started. Mick’s team went one nil up with a cool finish from Hugh before Yevgeny quickly equallised. Two goals in two minutes and no defence worthy of the name – it was going to be a goalfest and so the evening proved.
Stop the cavalry – Geoff has arrived!
Geoff eventually appeared and went on Simon’s side – unfortunately, no amount of attacking threat from Boro Dave and young Sam can make up for sloppy passing and an unwillingness to track back– Alan Morgan helped himself to an early Christmas present, as did Danny, and before too long the game was getting away from Simon’s side … until something extraordinary happened.
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing!
Spizz arrived albeit some 10 minutes late and went on Simon’s side (for about 15 minutes) and, amazingly, not only went in goal when asked, but stayed there with little complaint for a whole 10 minutes, proving himself quite an adept keeper. Simon’s side now had a numerical advantage and the two-goal deficit was quickly clawed back, through a lucky deflected goal from Yev and a slide rule finish from Boro Dave. 4-4 and the game appeared finely balanced.
Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!
It’s raining goals – and Spizz, who has now been switched to Alan’s side, is now doing what he loves best – goalhanging – and, inevitably, getting on the score sheet. Shot for shot, misplaced pass for misplaced mass and Geoff’s capacity to bemuse and frustrate in equal measure – and more goals were inevitable! By now Alan’s side were leading 7-5 and seemingly heading for victory until young Sam got on the end of a sumptuous curling pass from Simon – an assist that should live long in people’s memory, but, like the last one, will probably have been forgotten by the time people get to the Old Fountain. Another quick goal from Sam and it was 7-7. Hurrah! Until, inevitably, another defensive lapse and Mick’s side took the lead, only for a last gap equaliser and a highly improbable 8-8 draw. Both sides seemed reasonably happy with the result, Simon’s especially that they hadn’t lost, although what Alan Hansen would have made of it … - well, I think we can all guess!
Merry Xmas everybody!
A high-scoring draw to end the year – well there could have been worse ways to round off the year from a footballing perspective. However, if there’s one wish for 2012 – it’s that everybody track back and defend! If you don’t want to be burgled, don’t leave the back door open, as Brian Clough didn’t say. On that sober note, I would like to wish everybody a very merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, and see you all on Friday 6 January!

Party fears too
P.S. Much to Yev’s annoyance, the Christmas party was postponed as quite a few of the stalwarts were missing. It will be rescheduled sometime next year.

Apologies for technical delay over blog!!

Dear Reader, apologies for the delay concerning the blog. The next post has already been written by Gashead Simon but I am having problems uploading it. Never mind I am sure we will get there in the end. Meanwhile, Spizz is on the tour trail again with various formats; Spizzenergi, Spizzoil and Wild Mutation. The punk rocker is even venturing abroad hopefully to improve the country's foreign relations with a gig in Rennes, France.

I smell Winter

The first Friday in December certainly felt like Winter, with players desperate for the added warmth of a bib, even if they are full of holes. With Joe taking a rare sabbatical, I took over team selection for the week and picked the following teams –

• Bibs: me, the Guvnor, Simon Gas, Dan, Boro Dave, Sam
• Non-bibs: Steve A, Alex, Danny, Alan, Gooner Ian, Wing Commander Will

So six-aside, which meant that the chill December air quickly became irrelevant as everyone had to start running around rather more than is customary. The team in colours must have been energised by the absence of the layer of warmth afforded by the bibs, as they ran out 4-3 winners. Alan bagged a hat-trick - two of his goals being real opportunist’s efforts, as he pounced on a clearance that flew across the area and passed it first time into the net; the goal which turned out to be the winner came courtesy of an underhit backpass that he intercepted and finished, despite complaints that he was in the area, (he wasn’t).

At the other end Boro Dave and Dan posed the greatest threat and formed a potent partnership, scoring all three of the bibs’ goals. The opening goal from the bibs was a real peach; a festival of movement and one touch passing saw Boro Dave ping the ball to the bottom left hand corner after receiving a delightful pass from Dan. After the game Simon Gas was full of opprobrium for yours truly, as I apparently mis-controlled a “defence-splitting” pass which neither I nor anyone else could recall. It seemed to be open season on my good self, as the Guvnor also felt moved to mock my efforts on goal, despite originally opining that I had been unlucky to miss with a curling right footed effort. Two pints of lime and soda later he was positively scornful.

Aside from Paul’s mocking derision of my ability to shoot on target, other highlights from the Old Fountain’s Head included Boro Dave’s controversial assertion that the Stone Roses’ Second Coming is a superior record to their legendary eponymous debut. With just two Fridays left to play before Christmas – there are no plans currently to play on Friday 23^rd, although Simon Gas and I did discuss this (I had visions of a Tron-like encounter between the two of us – Simon versus Simon, as it were - with perhaps a turkey apiece in goal (assuming the Guvnor’s available, wink wink) – conversation turned to Christmas parties. Simon Gas has suggested the Bierkeller in Islington, so for those of you available on the 16^th, which out for more news.

Until Friday, Blog-a-Bloke: checking out.

One in the eye for youth

After the veritable feast of last week’s seven-minutes a pop footballing smorgasbord, it was back to the more mundane bread and butter of regular Friday night action. What looked initially like a energy sapping game of six aside morphed into a far more congested game of eight versus eight after the introduction of Yev, seemingly running on central Ural time, and two youngsters (‘having the time of their lives’, as they always say to the mascots): young Sam and Khalid. The somewhat curious decision was taken to put both teenagers onto the same side, meaning that the team wearing bibs featured two Sams (one young, one not-quite-so-young), in addition to Mick, Andy, Simon Inkpen and Geoff. I’ve missed someone out, but I’m jiggered if I can remember who.

Lining up in colours were myself, Simon Gas, Big Dave A and his brother Steve, Joe, Wing Commander Will and Ian, lurking dangerously up front in the traditional goalhanger position, (also known as the ‘Spizz role’) alongside Yev.

Perhaps unsurprisingly the fluidity and vim of two pairs of teenage legs told over the course of forty minutes, with Khalid opening the scoring after an Alan Hansen-defying pass across the back from Simon Gas was intercepted. Khalid also rifled in a second from an acute angle and smashed a third past yours truly. It wasn’t all one way traffic, however, with Yev poaching a goal following some defensive uncertainty and Ian Gooner taking a great goal which went like a tracer bullet into the bottom corner. WC Will also struck a post and Steve had a chance to score, but just failed to keep his shot down having done well to control a rising ball.

On that subject, I was the subject of some unfair criticism from Ian Gooner, who opined that my first ten touches had all ballooned up in the air. Rubbish. My first touch was a first time cushioned pass to which never left the deck. He was obviously too far away to see properly, mired as he was on the edge of the area.

Despite getting back to 3-1 and 4-2 a breakaway saw Mick steer the ball past the keeper with a first time shot which left the colours with too much to do. In terms of talking points, perhaps the main one was the ‘injury’ to Khalid’s right eye, following a challenge from Steve A. The ball was won cleanly enough, but Khalid screamed in agony and went down clutching his right eye in the manner of a latter-day King Harold. Close inspection revealed that, as suspected, the eye was a bit red, although that seemed to be more due to the fact he kept rubbing it while moaning about his vision being affected.

I think the final score was 5-3.

Little to report from a packed Old Fountain’s Head this week, aside from Andy’s generous round of whiskeys to mark his final appearance of 2011.

One final thought; Rest In Peace, Gary Speed.

Until next time…

Dargan Cup 2011

Here’s the promised second part of last week’s big match round-up, as promised by the Guvnor. Thank you for your kind words about the black team of which I was part – we were perhaps too cautious in the first game and paid the price for conceding two late goals against the greens and the blues. Anyway, on to the main business…

The second Dargan Cup took place last Friday evening, with five teams of seven(ish) fighting for the Jules Rimet-style trophy that accompanied last year’s inaugural tournament to commemorate the fact that Mr. Sam Dargan had found a wife.

Three of those teams – the greens, the blues and the blacks – were made up of the various characters who typically play from 7.00 pm to 7.40 pm, with the other two – the whites and the red and white stripes – coming from the 8.00 pm to closing time crew (at that’s what time they usually appear in the pub).

Props to Ian Gough for organising the round robin tournament, which saw each team play one another once. With just seven minutes for each match, the scorelines looked understandably binary, with a proliferation of 1-0, 0-0 and 1-1 scorelines. As the games unfolded a clear pattern emerged, with Team 4, i.e. the whites, winning all but one of the round robin games (a 0-0 draw with the black team. Clearly, the yin and the yang balanced on this occasion). With ten points from their first four games the whites – I’ll capitalise them to make their achievements seem more impressive – The Whites made the final, where they awaited the winners of the semi final between the greens and the blues. The greens, many people’s tip before the start, including big names like Yevgeniy, Alex from Stoke and Big Dave, found themselves facing the prospect of penalties to make the final and seek vengeance from their earlier smiting by The Whites. Sadly, the wizard of the Potteries followed the path of so many legends of English football and failed from the penalty spot to send the Blues through, (as they made the final they too can earn Proper Noun status).

White versus Blue saw an end to the binary system as goals from the Theo Walcott lookalike and Gooner Kev saw the Whites take the trophy, meaning that for the second time in its two year history the Dargan Cup belonged to the 8.00 pm crew. Actually, it belongs to the Old Fountain’s Head, assuming possession is nine tenths of the law, but there you go.

It was sad to see intra-team bickering from the Blues as the final whistle approached, with Mick giving Sam some verbals, which was a bit off considering the reason we were all there. What can you say; it’s a passionate game.

For the record, the final table stood as follows:

1. First place: White Team, aka ‘Get Back & Defend’ (Team Four) 10 points; winners of the final
2. Runner-up: Blue Team, aka ‘Simon and the Cruyff turns’ (Team Two) Six points; losing finalists
3. Third place: Green Team, aka ‘Geoff's around the pitch wanderers’ Six points; losing semi-finalist
4. Fourth place: Black Team, aka ‘Aiton's High Kickers’; Four points
5. Fifth place: Red and white stripes, aka ‘Lags Eleven’ [they looked a bit rough]; Two points
   

Some members of Lags Eleven and other miscellaneous participants from other teams played on into the Friday night; I’d already got changed to get to the pub (the comments on the semi-final came via hearsay and post-match interviews). A cracking turn-out at the tournament for the inevitable post-mortems; many thanks to all those who made the effort, despite not playing regularly due to childcare commitments and injury.

And so on to 2012’s tournament… here’s to you, Mrs. Dargan.

This is just a prologue to the main match report of Gooner Simon!!

Last Friday was extraordinary. There was a veritable blizzard of emails between the various members of the Dargan Cup teams over bibs, colours etc. They included a bombshell email from Blades Andy about the possibility of a German tour in February. Seven guys have already committed while there will be no WAGs to avoid the disastrous World Cup campaign of the English team when their wifes and girlfriends went on shopping sprees designed to increase further Germany's current account surplus.
The actual Dargan Cup was a resounding success brilliantly organised by Big Ian G. with
an amazing 36 players turning up on time. I got a couple of games, one improbably leading the attack for the Blues, which we actually won. In the first game Big Ian made an amazing save sticking out a leg to keep out a deflected shot, which could have led us to lose 2-0 and miss out on our eventual place in the final.
I thought the Black Tops had a very creditable performance, not losing one of their four games, scoring two goals and actually taking the courage to rotate their goalie. The Greens were very pleasing to the eye with Alex, Yev and Ross carrying out waves of attacks. However, the Blues got to the final to represent the 7pm teams courtesy of our only outfield goal when Alan Morg.'s speculative shot down the middle was helped in by the opposition goalie and by a save from Gashead Simon in a penalty shot-out against the Greens.
This blog was originally started to chart a possible team visit to German involving punk star Spizz. If the Frankfurt visit comes off, I hope Spizz can come although he is into all things Italian at the moment. Unfortunately, he missed the Dargan Cup but sent his good wishes!!
Gooner Simon said he would do the match reports. I missed some of the play because I had to go and find a match ball, which had been kicked out into the bushes. However, I thought the two players of the tournament were Alan Morg., who could have got a possible Golden Boot award, if was not for a stunning, diving save from Blades Andy onto the post, and Lyall, who played for the White Team, who deservedly won the Dargan Cup.

PS. Just to give our blog readers some info. In the past month there have been 71 pageviews from the Netherlands, 69 from Germany, 53 from the United Kingdom, 22 from the United States and 12 from Georgia. Your interest is very much appreciated. Best regards from Gooner Simon, the Guvnor and Spizz.

Scottish goalkeepers, plus Dargan Cup preview

Apologies for the delay in getting this posted; I spent the majority of Monday evening and Tuesday alternating between my settee and my toilet with a nasty bout of vomiting and diarrhoea. The whole experience has left me somewhat discombobulated, so you’ll have to forgive me if I don’t accurately recall all of last Friday’s game.

The bibs rang out 4-2 winners with Yev doing most of the damage for the bibs with at least two goals, one of them a trademark howitzer from an acute angle that managed to wrong foot Simon Gas between the sticks. At the other end Dave A stood firm in goal, bar one uncharacteristic blunder that brought all of those 1970’s jokes about Scottish goalkeepers flooding back like a BBC2 nostalgia show. Playing for the colours were Joe, still picking the teams with great aplomb, as well as luminaries like Andy, Steve A , Ian Gough (goalhanging with great effect) and the aforementioned Simon Gas.

In terms of other memorable incidents, Andy was the victim of a very harsh handball decision on the edge of his own area, although this lead to very little; a few minutes later Steve A hurtled out of goal – and his area – and conceded a free-kick. Simon Gas, Steve’s team-mate, later admitted it should have been a penalty, but decided not to say anything as his team were losing.

Boro Dave, are you reading this?

And so to the Old Fountain’s Head, where preparations for Friday’s Dargan Cup began apace. As I write there are three provisional teams, (see below), with the following rule changes for the big night:

- The ball will not go dead when the back boards are hit
- There is no direct back pass to goal keeper

I think you’ll agree there’s plenty of scope for both calamity and comedy, particularly as people get progressively tired the longer the night wears on.

Join me next week for a full review of the second Dargan Cup, currently residing behind the bar in the pub.

	Team : Aiton's High Kickers	Team : Geoff's around the pitch wanderers	Team : Simon and the Cruyff turns
	Black Tops	Green Tops	Blue tops
	Stephen Aiton	Alex Charnley	Keir Mcumiskey
	Danny Woodier	Dave Aiton	Michael Kavanagh
	Dave Landos	Yevgeniy Zenchenko	Alan Morgan
	Simon Inkpen	Ross Bicknell	Ian Gough
	Will	Andy Moore	Simon George
	Ian Geary	Geoff Pruton	Sam Dargan
	Simon Jarvis	Joe cox	Alex friend Dan
			Paul Tanner