To fill in the Spizz football blog in the summe.....

To fill in the Spizz football blog in the summer break, I am going to ask the lads to detail their holiday experiences (playing football on the Copabacana beach?). Or staycation events since Kev is allowing some of our lot to play in the 7.45pm game after us (but not me!!). I am going to get the ball rolling with a long treatise on the Danish capital of Copenhagen and reviewing its particular horrors and delights.

Horror number one of going to Copenhagen is the high VAT rate of 25 pct. So, no point of visiting there for a booze-up since you will need a small personal loan for the party or stag-do. Yet Brits seem to be the main tourists there, no Germans were there although I found a German Protestant church by accident when I was trying to
find a Catholic one.

Horror number two of going to Copenhagen is the lack of police on the streets. I have felt safer near Forty Second Street in New York during the pre-Guiliano period. The hotel was located next to the red light district. The Danish police love speeding down the big boulevards of Kobenhavn. However, for you the tourist victim it would be too late. The miscreants would be long gone when Danish plod turned up. If I paid so much in tax, I would want a decent police service, which would focus on preventive measures.

Horror number two does not apply to the Tivoli gardens. This is in the centre of Copenhagen and employs tall unarmed security guards. The fact is that, mostly, the Danes are very well-behaved and well-educated. So what is responsible
for all the low-level crime. I think you know the answer. It must be the
drugs. Some tosser half-inched some of my harmless medication, which I had foolishly left in the hotel room. Did I report it? What is the point? Had it been pinched or did I throw it in the bin by mistake? Well the most valuable drugs in monetary terms had gone missing.

Horror number two could be a delight if you like to walk past youngsters openly taking heavy-duty drugs or if you are actually interested in prostitutes.

Horror number three is that there is not much in the way of signs on the trains and metro trains. So you could easily get on the wrong one! On the way back to the airport we found ourselves returning to the main station.

Delights number one and two are that the Danes are quite friendly and virtually all speak English.

Delight number three is that despite the high prices they are not rip-off ones. The quality and quantity of the Danish food and Danish beer can be very good. All the
main dishes seem to start at DK 190 each, so there is not much in the way of price competition. While for the price of a coffee and cake, you might as well have a main meal. We saw a lot of drinks being nursed by tourists and Danes alike.

Delight number four is that the boys and girls are so good-looking. Must be all that cycling they do. When private cars finally disappear off our streets, the Danes (with the Dutch) will be well-prepared. This is due to their cycling abilities and
to their existing infrastructure such as cycling lanes and cycle compartments on the
trains. Push bikes are often left unlocked, when in London they would be nicked in five minutes. (This delight is absolutely amazing!!)

Delight number five is the Tivoli Gardens, which Walt Disney apparently visited and gave him the idea for Disneyland in the United States. There are lots of bars and
restaurants as well as rides. The DKr 80ish entrance fee was offset by the fact that
the Kaiser Chiefs from dear old Blighty were playing at 10pm. This gig was sponsored by the brewery company Tuborg. I thought the Kaiser Chiefs played pretty well, although there was not much of a response from the cool and very good-looking Danes standing next to us at the back. I got the sense the concert would have been a right hoot, if it had been held in Ibiza (don't mention the drugs again!!).

Delight number six is that the museums are world-class, especially the Viking exhibits. Denmark was a major imperial power and Copenhagen reflects that history.
Controlling Sweden and then little places like Greenland.

Delight number seven is the canal tour. I did let the side down by shouting out "hurrah" when the guide informed us that the British Navy (Nelson et al) had destroyed the Danish Navy in the Battle of Copenhagen (late 18th Century). The guide was amazing doing the spiel in Danish, English and Spanish but not in the language of Schiller and Goethe (German literary giants).

This Copenhagen piece is the personal view of the Guv'nor and is not in anyway related to Spizz the punk star. However, saying that maybe we should move the destination of the Spizz football tour. It could go from Germany to Denmark, if we can't find a game? I would love to go back to Copenhagen (Kobenhavn).
www.spizzenergi.com

I think Spizz scored a hat trick last Friday!!

On Friday night we tasted bitter defeat as Spizz swept through for a hat trick. He seemed to exploit holes in our defence. I played quite well on the right although I was the victim of some non-passing. We lost five-three and that included two own goals, one conceded by our goalkeeper. I thought we were going to win because we were playing some decent football.

Sorry to get it wrong for readers, but Spizz told me later that he only got two goals. We still lost
though.

It's a shame it is not Paris for the footie tour!!

It's a shame it is not Paris for the footie tour, since it is a beautiful city and I think the population would take to their hearts a motley team of football players led by Spizz in attack. The French capital is also easy to get to with Eurostar, which has recently moved from Waterloo to St Pancras. The default choice of Tenerife, one of the islands in the Canaries, will need a bit of organising, so if I start now, we should get somewhere. It is a great island divided by the desert-like south and tropical north. We will probably play in Puerto de la Cruz, which is where my mate has retired to. He made quite a few bob to retire young!!

I have also made the decision to become player-manager. I think my football career has had a new zest. I played quite well last Friday and was even on the winning side.

I won't be walking away with £2.5m.

I won't be walking away with £2.5m for a tawdry failure. It will be more likely involve
a few choice comments. Steve McClaren's exit shows the perils of management.
The England versus Croatia game last night was a real disaster, almost Titanic in
its proportions.

I will hopefully stick to four-four-two in Paris for Spizz's football tour. The team
more or less selects itself but hopefully I won't lose the dressing room.

Spizz's football tour Part 2

We are looking to go perhaps late February or early March 2008. If the missus lets me
it will involve an overnight stay. Doing a same day trip on Eurostar sounds feasible but
not much fun. I want to see the sights, Paris Saint Germain, and if you readers have
any recommendations on where to stay, feel free to post them in!!
The guys who said yes last night included I was an Arsenal fan before you were an
Arsenal fan, Stevo and his brother Big Dave, both Ayr United Fans, Boro Dave,
Gashead, Big Sam and me, who is a Man Utd, Spurs and Barnet fan. I admit I am pretty
confused, but maybe I have all the bases covered. And Spizz!!
The only problem about my football is that I have been relegated to that scrapheap of
always being in goal. So I am the tour secretary but would rather be known as the
"Guvnor" for the length of this tour. Spizz is a well-known Aston Villa fan.

Spizz football tour, Paris 2008

Just to explain Spizz was having a few stellas last night in the boozer with the football crowd,
when he let slip that a few fans in France wanted him to play in Paris. This was after seeing
Spizz's video clip on You Tube where he waltzes past several players. I am afraid that was
in 1994. In November 2007 Spizz is a favourite choice for the captain to fill up the goal.
Mick Jagger might have kept his sylph like body but looking at Spizz in the showers after
the game requires a stiff drink before and a stiff drink afterwards.
I digress. Spizz is a pop star and he will be making pop, more ways than one at Filthy's
on December 15th. I saw Spizz at the 100 Club and while not at the top of my all-time
pop concert list (Led Zeppelin, Earls Court, 1975) it was a creditable performance and
and a good time was had by all.
I hope the blog will be a diverting read for Spizz fans and why am I writing it? Apparently,
I organised the last foreign trip of the footballers and so I might as well do this one.
Initial deposit of £30 up front next Friday, Gentlemen.
As for any possible sponsors, the more the merrier. I dread to think what the beer bill will
be if Spizz starts putting the Stellas away in Paris.