To fill in the Spizz football blog in the summe.....

To fill in the Spizz football blog in the summer break, I am going to ask the lads to detail their holiday experiences (playing football on the Copabacana beach?). Or staycation events since Kev is allowing some of our lot to play in the 7.45pm game after us (but not me!!). I am going to get the ball rolling with a long treatise on the Danish capital of Copenhagen and reviewing its particular horrors and delights.

Horror number one of going to Copenhagen is the high VAT rate of 25 pct. So, no point of visiting there for a booze-up since you will need a small personal loan for the party or stag-do. Yet Brits seem to be the main tourists there, no Germans were there although I found a German Protestant church by accident when I was trying to
find a Catholic one.

Horror number two of going to Copenhagen is the lack of police on the streets. I have felt safer near Forty Second Street in New York during the pre-Guiliano period. The hotel was located next to the red light district. The Danish police love speeding down the big boulevards of Kobenhavn. However, for you the tourist victim it would be too late. The miscreants would be long gone when Danish plod turned up. If I paid so much in tax, I would want a decent police service, which would focus on preventive measures.

Horror number two does not apply to the Tivoli gardens. This is in the centre of Copenhagen and employs tall unarmed security guards. The fact is that, mostly, the Danes are very well-behaved and well-educated. So what is responsible
for all the low-level crime. I think you know the answer. It must be the
drugs. Some tosser half-inched some of my harmless medication, which I had foolishly left in the hotel room. Did I report it? What is the point? Had it been pinched or did I throw it in the bin by mistake? Well the most valuable drugs in monetary terms had gone missing.

Horror number two could be a delight if you like to walk past youngsters openly taking heavy-duty drugs or if you are actually interested in prostitutes.

Horror number three is that there is not much in the way of signs on the trains and metro trains. So you could easily get on the wrong one! On the way back to the airport we found ourselves returning to the main station.

Delights number one and two are that the Danes are quite friendly and virtually all speak English.

Delight number three is that despite the high prices they are not rip-off ones. The quality and quantity of the Danish food and Danish beer can be very good. All the
main dishes seem to start at DK 190 each, so there is not much in the way of price competition. While for the price of a coffee and cake, you might as well have a main meal. We saw a lot of drinks being nursed by tourists and Danes alike.

Delight number four is that the boys and girls are so good-looking. Must be all that cycling they do. When private cars finally disappear off our streets, the Danes (with the Dutch) will be well-prepared. This is due to their cycling abilities and
to their existing infrastructure such as cycling lanes and cycle compartments on the
trains. Push bikes are often left unlocked, when in London they would be nicked in five minutes. (This delight is absolutely amazing!!)

Delight number five is the Tivoli Gardens, which Walt Disney apparently visited and gave him the idea for Disneyland in the United States. There are lots of bars and
restaurants as well as rides. The DKr 80ish entrance fee was offset by the fact that
the Kaiser Chiefs from dear old Blighty were playing at 10pm. This gig was sponsored by the brewery company Tuborg. I thought the Kaiser Chiefs played pretty well, although there was not much of a response from the cool and very good-looking Danes standing next to us at the back. I got the sense the concert would have been a right hoot, if it had been held in Ibiza (don't mention the drugs again!!).

Delight number six is that the museums are world-class, especially the Viking exhibits. Denmark was a major imperial power and Copenhagen reflects that history.
Controlling Sweden and then little places like Greenland.

Delight number seven is the canal tour. I did let the side down by shouting out "hurrah" when the guide informed us that the British Navy (Nelson et al) had destroyed the Danish Navy in the Battle of Copenhagen (late 18th Century). The guide was amazing doing the spiel in Danish, English and Spanish but not in the language of Schiller and Goethe (German literary giants).

This Copenhagen piece is the personal view of the Guv'nor and is not in anyway related to Spizz the punk star. However, saying that maybe we should move the destination of the Spizz football tour. It could go from Germany to Denmark, if we can't find a game? I would love to go back to Copenhagen (Kobenhavn).
www.spizzenergi.com