Monday, 21 January 2019

Match report no. 2 January 20149 (02/01/2019): Stu 8 - Simon 0



As promised, I am adhering to my one and only new year’s resolution and keeping the blog up to date in 2019. Here is match report number two and here are your two teams:

Yellows: me, Steve, Patrick Chen, Bristol Paul, Tony, Nick (hairy face), Peter, Ian Gooner and Mark

Blues: Shez, David, Simon Ink, Nick (smooth face), Simon Gas, Stu, Johannes, Joe and Alan

Official Coram Fields attendance: 1 (Paul)

Alan opened the scoring on the evening for his second goal in successive weeks – either a thirty yard screamer or a stuffy piece of goal hanging, depending on your viewpoint - and the Blue team were soon in the ascendancy despite the sterling efforts of the Yellow side, who were hampered by some last-minute tinkering that was necessitated by Simon’s omission of Shez from the team sheets and by the non-appearance of Yev’s mate Kanat. 

Shez was added to the Blue team with the notion of the Yellow side fielding ten men to the Blues’ nine, but the failure of Kanat to materialise left the Yellows seriously undercooked and despite a valiant effort of organisation class won out as the Blues scored thrice more. Joe prodded home for the second, while I was in goal for both the third and the fourth – the first of these was a shot from Stu that I ought to have done better with but could only palm into the net and I’ve no memory of the fourth. But at this point I decided that enough was enough and swapped sides with the ever-impressive Stu, to reset the game.

Peter immediately got the Yellows on the scoresheet with a stooping far-post header (the ball was whizzed over at a height of around seven feet, just under Peter’s chin). Tony then got a tap-in that marked the culmination of a flowing move, while the consensus seems to be that Peter got at least one more high altitude goal and the debutant Johannes capped a fine performance with another score.

All in all, a fairly dispiriting evening for me, with the aggregate goal difference for the two teams I represented being -8. Given that I’m cup tied for Friday’s game (off to the Emirates to see Doogie Howser’s Manchester United take on the home side), perhaps it’s a good opportunity for some mid-season additional training.

Off to the pub again, where Dry January is just a nasty rumour.

Topics under consideration were plentiful and included, inter alia: Paul’s proposed business opportunities for a Spizz biography as the post-punk icon enters his seventh decade and/or a published compendium of these blog match reports. (I’ve a feeling that either proposal would require significant crowd-funding). 

Speaking of the creator of this blog, he turned up to watch proceedings on the field, but got bored after about half an hour (can’t blame him) and next appeared in the Skinners alongside some well-dressed young Catalonian gentlemen. If this is going to be a regular tactic of Paul’s – i.e. watch the game, disappear off to the pub before the final whistle, he may well prove one to watch out for in future blogs.  

Elsewhere, me and Ian’s Cassandra-like morose predictions for the Arsenal v Chelsea were (happily) very wide of the mark, while we learnt about Ian’s avant-garde organisational development strategies that are taking the world of IT Project Management by its dry, dusty balls. To wit: meetings with all participants wearing Monty Panesar masks; team bonding sessions at the British Museum with children’s treasure maps; and, in what amounts to a cock very much snooked at identity politics, the practice of assuming a pseudonym for online team ‘huddles’: Ian chooses to identify as Rex Supergrey and won’t answer to anything else. 

I’m making a business case for the great man to come in to my place at our next ‘Town Hall’ meeting. 

Have a good game this week…



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