In a dramatic move, the Guv'nor is proposing a code of conduct

In a dramatic move following a sensational pitch inspection of the new 3G surface at Coram Fields, the Guv'nor proposed a code of conduct for players to sign before the new season. This would include the individual game covering the 100 nicker cost of the pitch by the players, who actually played in that game. So for instance, if we have ten players, then they will pay £10 each. If we get twenty players, then it would be a fiver each. Certain guys do not do the fair shift in goal, or pass, or wash the bibs. Then, they should pay a fine. Any monies collected would be put in a fund for future physio, because we are not getting any younger.