Das Boot

Another Friday, another chance to run around in Arctic conditions to try and avoid contracting hypothermia, all in the name of the beautiful game.

Last week’s match was another lung-burning, limb-aching, ball-freezing near-five aside affair – for the record there were eleven hardy souls out on Coram Fields plying their footballing trade.

The two teams lined up in due accordance with Simon Gas’s wishes: Viz

Colours: Ian, Joe, Alan, Paul, Steve, me

Bibs: Boro Dave, Phil, Danny, Simon Gas, Andy

The final score was a fearful 12 (twelve) - 4; a terrible chasing by anyone’s standards. I am not going to even attempt to describe each goal, so will restrict myself to edited highlights.

Bibs goals – Phil and Boro Dave did all awful lot of the damage, with far too many of the 12 (twelve) goals coming from direct runs toward the Colours’ ‘full backs’ with arrowed finishes across goal. I was between the sticks for one of Dave’s better efforts, which was as sweet a nutmeg as you’ll ever see this side of the Capital One Cup Final; Phil scored another past me by winning a 50:50 and tapping into an empty net. Another one which I can recall saw Ian in goal desperately yelling orders at me to get in position, while Phil promptly stuck the ball past the big Gooner mid-bark. In addition, Phil scored at least one direct from a free kick.

Colours goals – a bit easier to recall, given there were just four of them; the first came from a one-two between Joe and myself which saw him run in and finish (the scores at this stage were an unlikely 1-1). Alan got at least another two, one from a dinked through ball from me, while Ian could have a hatful but had to settle for one. The post-match consensus seemed to be that Danny and Boro Dave’s vim and energy made the difference in getting back to snuff out attacks while being swift enough to spring their own counter-attacks. 

The game was summed up by a particularly depressing passage of play that saw Danny leave the field of play to retrieve the ball – when it came back on the Colours temporarily had a 6 v 4 advantage, but given the chance to pass to either Ian or Joe I took the middle option and played a pass which bisected my two team-mates perfectly and ran harmlessly out of play.

Final goal – a break on the left saw a decent centre from Danny which saw Andy tap in first time to complete the humiliation.

And so the pub(s); following an abortive attempt to drink in the Marquis of Cornwallis, (curtailed due to the establishment in question being absolutely packed), we ended up in a curious establishment called The Boot, (hence the title of the blog). While the beer was cheap, our fellow drinkers were very noisy, as was the ‘music’. There was also the small matter of almost being accused of stealing someone’s bag, only for said item to turn up behind the bar.

The quest for a worthy successor to the Old Fountain’s Head continues...