Four versus Five

Last Friday’s game was a very taxing four versus five affair, with one of the nine players being a young ringer called Pete who opportunity had decided to knock for. With so few players, remembering the two teams is somewhat more straightforward than usual:

Bibs – Danny, Simon Gas, Phil, me

Colours – Spizz, Paul The Guvnor, Simon Inky, Joe and the young ringer Pete

(You will note that 33.3% of the players had the first name ‘Simon’). 

With the Gang of Four having rush goalie, the game kicked off and the Bibs duly took the lead courtesy of a dashing run from Danny that began in his own area and ended with a clinical finish. The Colours equalised, but the next two goals were shared as the extra man on the colours’ side started to force the Bibs to work very hard. But with the score balanced at 2-2 Simon Gas scored what seemed to feel like a game changing goal, with a trademark drilled shot from wide on the left that found the bottom corner of the goal.

There followed another key point in the game, with punk legend Spizz refusing to go in goal, a hand injury being ostensibly blamed for his inability to take turn as ‘keeper. With the goal left unguarded in the ensuing melee, Danny squared a pass that pinged off the unfortunate Simon Ink and into an empty net to make the score 4-2. I don’t think it’s an understatement to say that this incensed The Guvnor and the ensuing row seemed to spread disaffection through the Colours’ ranks; the Bibs duly extended their lead in a commanding fashion, with Danny and Phil doing the majority of the damage, scoring from distance, via some dashing forward play and on one occasion via an outrageous nutmeg on Simon Ink that saw Phil turn on goal with a ruthless display of finishing. 

Spizz seemed to have about 25 different chances from just outside the ‘D’, but whether some form of karmic justice was at play or whether it was just great goalkeeping, the margin between the two teams continued to grow until the Bibs lead 10-2. An uncharacteristic incidence of unsporting behaviour from Danny, deliberately handling the ball to prevent Pete from having a one-on-one with the ‘keeper, saw Simon Gas give the Colours a penalty kick which Spizz duly dispatched. The Bibs grabbed a couple more goals, but the game still finished with a resounding 11-5 win for the Bibs’ Gang of Four. 

And it was only a Gang of Four that made it to the pub, with all three Simons and Joe settling in at the White Lion to watch England v San Marino. (Well, the first half, anyway.) In stark contrast to the Old Fountain I was served within around 6 seconds of reaching the bar, with both members of staff poured a pint each. How’s that for service?

Here’s to some more players next week.