Ten Nets Extra

Last Friday night saw a near enough full eleven aside contest, as 2015 continues to be characterised by record turn outs at Coram Fields. By the time the perennially tardy Yev and shower-dodger Tony arrived we had two teams of ten; this despite Simon’s initial selection of 11 versus 8. And we wonder why the banking system is in crisis.

Let the record state that two teams were as thus:

Yellows: Alex, Simon Gas, Simon Ink, me, Tony, Ian Gooner, Yev, Bristol Paul, Khalid, Nick

Blues: Alan, Ian Baggies, Ross, Mark, Mick, Patrick, Danny, Daniel, Dave, Spizz

I thought that the Yellows looked marginally stronger on paper and so it (eventually) proved, although not before the Blues had taken the lead - twice. Young Patrick opened the scoring, possibly via an assist from his old man, before the Yellows got back on terms. Alan then scored to make it 2-1 to the Blues before a rare own goal from Danny following a sharp cutback from the by-line from Yev made it two apiece. 

With so many people on the pitch space was very much at a premium, but quality will out and Alex, Mick and Patrick all impressed in the middle while Tony marshalled the Yellows superbly at the back. Ian Gooner, fresh from his Belgian odyssey, played in a somewhat bold outside left berth and set up one goal and narrowly missed gut barging in another. As the big man himself subsequently opined, he would have been better off using his feet. 

The final two goals of the evening both went to the Yellows – Yev bagged what has been described as a “smug” header (© David) and the final score was 4-2 to the Yellows. (Much thanks to Alan for helping me fill in some of the blanks there. Apologies if you scored and I didn’t mention it, (they’ll be another game on Friday)). 

Other notable events include Danny spanking the ball out of play on the far side – Simon and Danny addressed the situation via an old plastic chair and a recycling bin after the game – and the ball disappearing into the night sky on several occasions and narrowly avoiding coming down with snow on it (and braining someone) as both teams elected to eschew any sense of playing out from the back and instead adopt Wimbledon circa 1988 tactics.

Following Simon Gas’s proposal to abandon the Skinners owing to a dearth of seating we ended up with sufficient seating to accommodate everyone this week, although there was a schism as Alan, Ian and myself ended up at the rear of the hostelry adjacent to the fire (and the gents) while Yev, Simon, Ross, Tony and others were in the front window. After a thirty minute discussion on cycling, I think our conversations touched on various topics, including some old favourites and Tony Adams’ view that ‘you need seven in the tunnel’ to rely on when things get tasty. 

Who are our seven? That’s your first subject for debate this week.

Bang.

Ian In Bruges?

Another decent turn out this week as the New Year exercise regimes continue apace. Once again Simon Gas had a veritable smorgasbord of players to choose from. The main man went for the following sides - 

Yellows: Alex, Ian Gooner, Paul, Bristol Paul, Mick, Patrick, Ross, Tony, Mark

Blues: Simon Gas, Yev, Spizz, me, Kiwi Nick, Simon Ink, Khalid, Daniel, Danny

As you can see, nine plays nine there and with Yev just about on time only the Kavanaghs were slightly late. I thought that the Blue team looked marginally stronger on paper, but performances on the pitch soon belied that notion, with Alex in imperious form in the middle of the park and Mick and Patrick enjoying a filial telepathy which proved difficult to curb, despite the attentions of the Blues.

The Yellows took the lead from the penalty spot after Kiwi Nick unceremoniously upended Alex inside the box; Patrick coolly despatched the penalty low into the bottom left hand corner, leaving Danny with no chance. As alluded to previously, Alex was proving a real handful in the middle of the park and with Ross and Patrick making runs on either side – into what football punditry fashion somewhat behoves me to label the ‘pockets’ – aided and abetted by both Alex and Tony, the Blues soon extended their lead. (Incidentally, Mick keeps talking of paying Patrick “pocket money”, so presumably Kavanagh Junior is taking up these positions on a pay-per-play basis). 

Kiwi Nick soon put the disappointment of the penalty behind him and put in a sterling shift at the back, as the Blues tried to stem the inexorable tide of Yellow attacks. However, the Yellows’ superior movement in the middle eventually saw them stretch their lead to 4-0, the final score of the four coming after Ross had drilled a shot at me in goal which I could only parry onto the bar whereupon it bounced down for Alex to snaffle up from all of around two feet. 

At this point I opined that Danny should move into a more central position as the Blues were finding it very difficult to get hold of the ball so that they could pass it forward to the potent looking attacking force of Yev and Spizz. Whether or not anyone was listening is a moot point, as Danny’s midfield tenacity soon saw a loose ball come free for Spizz – who had earlier eschewed the opportunity to shoot from a distance of around 8 yards and instead elected to pass sideways to Yev, who was not quite ready (where is the real Spizz and what have you done with him?) – who made no mistake and made up for his earlier uncharacteristic selflessness by steering the ball past Ian Gooner in nets. Danny himself got another one back following some pleasant interplay on the left, but despite a myriad of chances to get closer to the Yellows’ tally of four goals (Simon Ink had a great chance to score, but went for a Di Canioesque mid-air bicycle kick with predictable results), the scores remained at 4-2 to the Yellows.

Other notable moments included a one handed save by myself from a header from Patrick which was reminiscent of David Seaman’s save against Paul Peschisolido in an FA Cup Semi Final against Sheffield United and a couple of disputed handball calls that managed to stoke Tony’s not inconsiderable ire. 

All in all a very good game. 

And thus to the pub, where Spizz enjoyed some birthday drinks – San Miguel in a Heineken glass, an order that managed to bamboozle the Polish barmaid nearly as much as his lateral pass in front of goal had done to his team-mates during the game – and Ian Gooner essayed his travel plans to Bruges the following morning. Whether or not he got there is open for debate, as his train was scheduled to leave St Pancras as 7.00 am the following morning, which may mean he got through the tunnel before it closed, or else it may mean he and his wife are still enjoying super strength beer in Belgium’s medieval masterpiece. 

Did Ian get to Belgium? And if so, did he get back? Did Spizz reach the fabled 5,000 followers on Facebook mark? Did Mick increase his son’s pocket money? Find out the answers to these and other questions this Friday at 7.00pm in Coram Fields, near London's Russell Square.

Acceptable in the 80's

Welcome back. Rather predictably, given the traditional January desire to burn off the Christmas calorie intake, the first game of 2015 saw a bumper crowd, with Simon Gas feeling so flush with players that he had the luxury of turning away not only the Guv’nor, but also Ian Gooner, who turned his ankle on an errant paving slab on the way to Coram Fields. Camden Council can expect a writ.

With such a bountiful haul of people to pick from, the Bristolian Commander In Chief went for the following two sides -

Blue team: me, Nick, Steve, Ian Baggies, Mick, Yev, Spizz, Alan, Simon Ink, Ross

Yellow team: Simon Gas, Tony, Kiwi Nick, Patrick, Alex, Daniel, Danny, Bristol Paul, Khalid

The Yellows saw plenty of the ball in central midfield throughout the game, chiefly because they had fine touch players like Alex and Daniel who were more able than most to retain possession of the ball and to find team-mates with short passes, despite the presence of so many pairs of legs on the pitch. The Yellow team took an early two goal lead, seizing on two avoidable defensive mistakes in ruthless fashion – sadly my memory failed to record the two scorers, probably because I was too occupied with the noisy post-mortem that followed both goals. 

The Blues were bolstered soon after kick off by the traditional late arrival of Yev, who joined Spizz up front in the sort of big man / little man striking partnership that was acceptable, nay de rigeur during the 1980’s. The chief consequence of this was that the Blues dispensed with any notions of passing in the midfield and instead went very direct, with Nick and Mick filling in either flank, along with Ross and Simon Ink. This tactic was moderately successful, with Spizz pulling one back, but the equalising goal for the Blues came via more aesthetically pleasing play, as Mick played a long pass for someone on the left to touch on and into the box where Alan ran on and deftly tapped home off his left ankle.

What I felt was the key point in the game came while the scores were locked at two apiece; Danny went on a characteristically surging run and cut inside on his right foot and unleased a peach of a shot that flew into the top right hand corner of the net. Even with the extra man the Yellows couldn’t seem to get back into the game after that, although Alan smacked the outside of the post and I missed a highly presentable late chance to make the score 4-3 to the Blues – by this stage Alex and Patrick had combined for the former to prod the ball home for the Yellows’ fourth goal of the night.

Happily, very little in the way of controversy or gamesmanship this week, although Ian Baggies was likened to a traffic warden by Spizz as a result of calling loudly each time the ball went out of play. Yev and Tony also enjoyed a running duel that narrowly avoided fizzing over into something more exciting, although the year is yet young so this could be one to watch. 

Final score: Yellows 4 – Blues 2

Any notions that the pub would prove far quieter in the wake of the abominable dry January and the usual post-Christmas lull were shattered by the presence of large groups of young people in the Skinners, what with their beards, card payments and vibrant social lives. The crowd eventually thinned out and discussions turned, inevitably, to the terrorist outrages in Paris as well as more pastoral subjects such as how we all spent the festive period and the fallout from the Christmas football fixtures. Until Friday…