Life in a northern town

Apologies once again for the late posting of this match report; I spent the Bank Holiday weekend away in the North visiting Finsbury Leisure Centre legend and all action striker Boro Dave. As such, I am once again reaching back across the days and nights to try and recall what happened last Friday. 

Custom behoves me to try and recall the two sides as best I can. Here goes:

Yellows: me, Steve, Liam, Nick, Ian Baggies, Andy, Mick, Patrick Kavanagh, Ross

Blues: Yev, Simon Gas, Ian Gooner, Mario, Danny, Mark, Simon Ink, Bristol Paul 

What I can remember is that the game finished eight apiece, with the Blues coming from something like 5-7 down to lead 8-7 through Mario and Yev before young Patrick, son of Mick, bagged the equaliser to cap a fine overall display which saw him grab at least three goals. If I’ve under-cooked that review of Patrick’s performance, I am confident his father will have no compunction in making this known when next I see him. His final score demonstrated a composure which belied his young years as he side-stepped one challenge, then another, before picking his spot and finishing with unerring sureness of foot. 

The sides initially appeared somewhat unbalanced in favour of the Blues and they duly took the lead before Yev arrived, (only slightly late this week). Simon Gas then slightly rejigged the teams, leaving an ominous looking combination of Yev and Mario to terrorise the Yellows, despite the jaundiced-bibbed side having the man advantage.

Also among the goals were Ross, who once again managed to score with a looping header courtesy of a precision centre from Nick, Mario, who knocked one in after Yev had absolutely eviscerated me and cut the ball back from the by-line, and the beast from the east himself, who was in imperious form. 

Mick captained the Yellows with great effect, controlling the area in front of what passed for the Yellows’ defence and directing his son and the other offensive Yellow-bibbed players as they pressed forward. If Liam, Nick and Patrick were guilty of overplaying the ball at times, this was chiefly because Danny was in Billy the Fish form in goal, thwarting a large number of Yellow attacks with some last ditch defending.

I finished off a night to forget by becoming hopelessly wrong-footed as Yev seared past Ian and drilled the ball into the area, with a pass that somehow evaded everyone and rolled into the net. Not good.

As I had an early start on Saturday I eschewed the traditional post-match refreshments in the Skinners, but I am sure a good time was had by all. 

And what news of our erstwhile team-mate, you ask? Well, northern country life would appear to suit the Middlesbrough hit man, with a view overlooking the moors and not one, but two sheds. His garden is strewn with golf balls, as Dave is working on his short game by chipping balls into the kids’ trampoline. Life looks to be sweet. He still gets quite cross, mind you.

Cup fever claims another patient...

Apologies for the delay in posting this report; for reasons which will become apparent, it’s been difficult to cast my mind back to last Friday. Last week saw another great game of football at Coram Fields, with another packed field of players. It must be the Spring weather.

I’m going to have a go at remembering the two teams, more in the hope that it will trigger an avalanche of footballing recall than anything else.

Yellows: Andy, me, Simon Gas, Alex, Steve, Ian Baggies, Nick, Ross, Will

Blues: Alan, Yev, Spizz, David, Mario, Cup Winning Ian, Liam, Danny, Geoff, Simon Ink?

(It was certainly 10 versus 9, at least it was from the point that Yev arrived, but apologies if I’ve incorrectly assigned anyone to the wrong team).

As alluded to in the preceding paragraph, this was a 9 aside affair until Yev arrived, customarily late but uncustomarily with shorts. This gave the Blues the potent looking attacking triumvirate of Liam, Spizz and somewhat less diminutively, Yev. Perhaps unsurprisingly, they outscored the Yellows, although not as comprehensively as one may have thought.

The Yellow team kept an excellent shape at the back and played some highly attractive stuff once they’d got the ball forward, but were perhaps guilty of over-doing it at times, particularly once the Blues had moved into the lead. The Blues did score one of the goals of the game – a delicious cross from Will that saw Ross rise Christ-like into the air to nod the ball back across the face of goal and beyond the keeper. Nick also grabbed a memorable effort, taking the ball down on his chest and firing the ball home from a tight angle with his left peg.

Spizz spent much of the game beseeching Mario to ping 20-30 yard balls into him, a la Steven Gerrard, but he sensibly kept playing short passes down the left where West Brom Ian, Simon Gas and Andy (a veritable defensive tour de force last week) had their work cut out.

As the Yellows legs got heavier the three Blue strikers started to find more space – Spizz set up Liam for one goal that I should have made a better job of intercepting, Spizz took advantage of a couple of defensive howlers to ram home the Blues’ advantage and also scored the penalty which arose from Simon Gas unceremoniously dragging Liam down on top of him. I’m assuming Yev scored at some stage, although my chief memory of his performance last week was him shanking the ball out of play and over the fence on at least one occasion.

Final Score – Blues 6: Yellows 4*

 

* (Possibly)…

A positively balmy night outside (yes, outside) the Skinners, as Ian, Geoff, Spizz, Alan and myself waxed lyrical about Cup Finals past (and Spizz began cyber stalking a young blonde lady who stopped by, somewhat improbably, to talk to Geoff).

Ah, the FA Cup Final. It’s taken me until today to fully recover from the psychic fall-out from that game – three hours of emotional turmoil, anger and ultimately elation that left me little more than a dehydrated husk of a man. If this is what trophy wins do, I can wait another nine years for any more. (I don’t mean that at all).

Cheggers Plays Pop

Last Friday’s game saw another excellent turnout at Coram Fields and another golden evening as the seasons inexorably turn toward the halcyon days of Summer.

Simon selected the following teams to do battle:

Yellows: me, Ian Baggies, Mick, Ross, Mario, Steve, Bristol Paul, Simon Ink

Blues: Andy, Liam, Nick, Spizz, Simon Gas, Ian Arsenal, Will, Danny, Mark

Liam opened the scoring, taking over from where he left off last week with a great finish from just outside the area that swerved viciously before going in. Ross – back after a lengthy spell of knee-knack - equalised with a tremendous goal that ricocheted off both posts before ending up behind the goal line and beyond Andy’s despairing reach. That was as good as it got for the Yellows, however, as the Blues retook the lead and gradually added to it, taking the game beyond their opponents.

The story of the game was that despite being reasonably organised in defence and having plenty of people in advanced positions (Bristolian Paul eschewed his usual defensive berth to play wide on the left) the Yellows lacked a central midfield presence that could prevent the Blues from coming forward. This was the first time I had played on the same team as Super Mario and the first time he has failed to score with a twenty-five yard screamer that barrelled into the net, the ball still accelerating as it went in. Instead, Will scored with an effort which matches that description, while the aforementioned Genoese larruped the ball over the crossbar, over the fence and over the roof of an adjacent building with his most memorable effort.

Also among the goals was Spizz, goal hanging  poaching with aplomb, and my fellow Gooner Ian, who ignored Danny’s anguished exhortations for him to drop back in defence to pick up the ball on the edge of the area and finish with his left foot for the final score of the evening.

Other notable events included a bizarre appearance from Yev, who arrived complete with briefcase and tie to pick something up from Steve. Despite not intending to take any part in proceedings, he nevertheless strode across the pitch like a football manager taking the plaudits of the fans, or a coach addressing his players ahead of extra time.

Nick and Spizz continued their highly entertaining verbal jousting, until Spizz was transferred over to the Blues after their fourth goal in an effort to stop the game descending into farce. It was only at this stage that I became aware the Blues had the extra man, so all things considered Simon made a pretty decent attempt at balancing the two teams.

Final score: Blues 5 – Yellows 1

Not quite so many people in the Skinners this week as many of the bearded hipster contingent headed off to pop-up events in disused scullery hatches in Shoreditch, but Mick, Ian and all three Simons made it along. The evening descended into the now familiar trope of discussing high-profile celebrity sex offenders – you know all the names. Mick weighed in with a joke about Keith Chegwin – categorically not a sex offender, but a familiar figure from BBC television in the 1970’s 80’s - which ended with the punchline ‘Cheggers can’t be boozers’, while I expressed concern than John Craven was a well known Countryphile.

Until Friday. 

Fingers, darlink!

Hello again, Spizzenergi blog readers. I return to duty following a month long hiatus largely caused by my holiday in Thailand and can only thank Paul The Guvnor for his sterling work while I was gone. The story about the sultry Argentinean lady with the expensive taste in sparkling wine was my personal highlight of the past few weeks’ blogs.

Back once more to Coram Fields with a veritable cornucopia of events to go through from last Friday. Two teams of at least nine aside played out an 8-4 win in favour of the Yellows, with plenty of action and items worthy of note. I’ll have a bash at listing the two teams:

Yellows: me, Simon Gas, Andy, Bristol Paul, Liam, Yev (eventually), Mick, Dave, Danny

Blues: Ian, Steve, Alex, Paul, Alan, Nick, Farouk, Spizz, Simon Inky

Yev’s late arrival saw Simon Ink switch sides following a lively start for the Yellow’s attack that had man of the match Liam linking up with Dave on the left and the aforementioned percussionist through the middle. Yev’s late arrival also saw the Ukrainian hitman take to the field, once again, sans football shorts and in a pair of tight white briefs. Quite what anyone looking on made of this spectacle is anyone’s guess.

The Yellows roared into a four goal lead despite the Blues boasting plenty of youthful vim and vigour in the guises of Alex, Nick and also a nineteen year old new recruit named Farouk, who Paul had befriended in his father’s shop in Potters Bar. The story behind the Yellow’s eventual success lay in a defence forged deep in the West Country, with Simon and his fellow Gashead Paul (many, many, commiserations by the way, lads) forming a defensive partnership that proved the dual rocks on which the Blues’ waves of attack kept breaking. Martin Skrtel and Mamadou Sakho would have done well to have watched and learnt.

Liam bagged six of the Yellow’s eight goals, with two sticking out in the memory: one was a dinked finish over an advancing ‘keeper after a glorious through ball from Mick and the other was a disguised left footed finish that was more reminiscent of something you’d see at The Crucible than on a football field. The Yellows other two finishes came from Yev, terrorising the Blues with both his pace and his posing pouch and also Dave, who capped off a fine game wide on the left with a finish that crept in at the near post having wrong-footed both the goalie and the Blues’ defence.

The Blues did briefly threaten to back on terms via goals from Spizz and Alex, but a lack of defensive shape kept undoing their efforts to drag the lead back and an increasingly fractious ongoing exchange between new wave icon Spizz and bearded hipster Nick undermined their esprit de corps. Spizz’s Tsa Tsa Gabor-like refusal to go in goal on account of a semi-mythical finger injury only added to the rancour.

With no teams coming on at eight ‘o’ clock, the assorted ranks of amateur footballers played on until around 8.15 pm, although Ian Gooner had to go and see a man about a dog and as such the Blues’ task became even more difficult, although the score didn’t alter at either end despite the tiring legs and departing players.  

And so to the Skinners Arms, where a decent number of us made it this week. Topics up for discussion included the ongoing political unrest in Thailand, the Premier League title race, Farouk’s studies at the University of Nottingham and how to get off a speeding charge.

It’s good to be back…