Spizz's football tour in Germany!!

++++BREAKING NEWS+++++TONIGHT'S GAME CANCELLED DUE TO FROZEN PITCH++++BREAKING NEWS

2012-02-10T03:56:00.001-08:00

Over to Jim White in Old Street....

"Well Natalie, its not good news for north London's part-timer footballers as
this evening's seven o clock kick off has become an early victim of
the weather.

Better news for the wives and girlfriends, who will have
their menfolk at home for a rare Friday evening".

Jim, landlord of local hostelry The Old Fountain's Head, had this to say:

"It's a real shame, as most of those lads have been coming here since the fall of communism. I've managed to buy a timeshare in Bulgaria with the profits from their raging dipsomania. On the plus side I won't need to order any more boxes of crisps this week".

Tonight's postponement leaves chief administrator Simon George with a real headache, as the fixtures mount up mercilessly.

Join us after the break when Paul Merson and Tony Gayle give their reaction to the latest news.

Six goal thriller; body parts in the chiller…

2012-02-09T01:37:00.000-08:00

Last Friday saw Winter finally arrive in the capital as a dozen or so hardy souls braved the Arctic temperatures to play a game of football. The teams were as thus:

Bibs: me, Yev, Simon Inkpen, Spizz, Boro Dave, Ian Gough, Paul, Geoff

Colours: Alex, Simon Gas, Dave A, Steve A, Ian Geary, Joe, Danny

The game finished in a highly entertaining three-all draw, although the colours were kicking themselves after taking a handy-looking two-nil lead early on. Spizz opened the scoring before switching horses mid-stream when the perennially tardy Geoff arrived to unsettle the balance of the two teams; Alex then made it two-nil. The bibs got back on terms first from an opportunist effort from Geoff and then via a classic striker’s finish from (who else?) Yev. Alex scored a third for the colours, but Yev ensured that honours were shared with a deserved equaliser.

Aside from the fact that it was so cold that the soft tissue in your lungs was burning after forty minutes of inhaling the quasi-Siberian air, the other key talking point of the game was a disputed free kick on the edge of the colours’ penalty area. I was in goal at the time, so will have to plead the Wenger amendment, but from what was discussed during and after the game the issue seemed to be that Big Dave A had at least part of his feet on and over the line of the ‘D’, thereby preventing the Bibs from taking a quick indirect free-kick before getting a shot off. A sensible strategy, no doubt, but with the goalkeepers’ feet outside the ‘D’ was it legal? Simon Gas decreed it thus, setting a precedent that Ian Gough, inter alia, is in no danger of letting him forget. It may have been the only time Ian ventured north of the halfway line in the game, but it was a memorable contribution to his otherwise purely defensive efforts.

The ensuing brouhaha looked fairly comical from my vantage point at the other end in goal, with lots of middle aged men shouting loudly and leaning into one another in a sort of circular pattern around a static football in a manner reminiscent of a group of drunken fishwives around a PVC handbag at a Christmas dinner dance. Predictably, the free kick was squandered.

I think the sub-zero temperatures must be to blame for my inability to recall much more about the game, although I had a chance to score toward the end by making a late run and poking the ball goal-ward with the outside of my left boot. To no avail, as ever.

A reasonably uneventful evening in the pub, although we should be grateful for the continued re-emergence of the enigmatic punk icon Spizz. Mine’s a Pilnser Urquell….

The Kraken awoke

2012-01-30T04:16:00.000-08:00

Predictably, following last week’s eighteen-man fandango we were struggling for numbers on Friday night, with young Sam being drafted in to make two teams of six aside.

As far as memory serves the two teams were:

Bibs: Yev, Alan, Simon Gas, Paul, Geoff, Andy

Colours: me, (older?) Sam, Danny, Simon Inkpen, (young) Sam, Joe

It was a slightly odd affair, in that the colours took the lead with a brace from Simon Inkpen sandwiching an equaliser from the bibs. The colours then took a 3-1 lead through Joe and at this stage were pinging the ball around prettily and generally looking extremely comfortable indeed. Joe and young Sam in particular forged an excellent understanding and created numerous chances, albeit largely from angles either side of the ‘D’. Older Sam, (this is starting to sound like a tale from the Viking chronicles – Sam Youngsson as opposed to Sam Eldersson?) and I dropped back to contain the simmering goalscoring menace that is Yevgeniy.

All was going well, when suddenly the Kraken awoke and decided to win the game single-handedly; Yev brought the scores back level with two goals, one a rasping shot that fizzed into the net, the equaliser more of a Gerd Muller style finish that capped a fine team goal. The one that made it 4-3 to the Bibs left the outside of his right boot and crashed into the bottom right hand corner from about 20 yards; I forget who scored the fifth. Viewing events retrospectively, having lost their lead the colours seemed to drop too far off the ball in midfield having previously been so comfortable and yielded too much possession. A real game of two halves.

Other notables included Andy miscuing repeatedly from the edge of the D but still contriving to nutmeg Sam Eldersson, (much to his chagrin). There was what I have promised to call a ‘lovely moment’ when Alan somewhat paternally admonished Sam Youngsson for going in feet and metaphorical studs up: ‘Don’t go in studs up’, quoth the genial Irishman; ‘I just raised my foot’, replied the fair-haired tyro. ‘Well don’t do it again’. ‘Sorry’. It reminded me of a scene from the Waltons. I had a good chance toward the end but passed the ball into the grateful arms of Joe rather than either side and into the net.

And so to the pub, where the big news was the reappearance of mercurial punk legend Spizz, shamelessly promoting his last gig in London… until December. Clad in customarily DIY branded tracksuit bottoms (i.e. leggings) and other punk paraphernalia he was promoting his appearance on Saturday evening at Electrowerkz alongside Punishment of Luxury and Dutch Order. If you missed it, your next opportunity to see the Spike Milligan of Punk will be in Milan and Belgrade. Book early to avoid disappointment.

Back in the groove...

2012-01-23T12:51:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year, readers – last Friday was my first game of 2012. And what a game it was; I cannot recall so many people playing before in one evening – we had a team of eight playing a team of nine with one substitute. (Hang on, that doesn’t sound very fair, even with a rush goalie).

More for reasons of testing the impact of a month of alcohol, carbohydrates and poultry-based protein on my short-term memory, I am going to try and remember the two teams.

Here goes...

Bibs: Dave A, Steve A, Simon Gas, Paul ‘The Guvnor’, Yev (eventually), Joe, Ross, Sam, Alex and Wing Commander Will

Colours: me, Ian G, Dan, Danny, Mick, Boro Dave, Simon Inkpen, Andy

Not bad, eh?

Just to show I was really paying attention, the final score was 4-2 to the team in Bibs, although the colours did initially take the lead through (I think) Dan and again via a wicked tight angled finish from Mick. Cue Yev’s customarily tardy entrance and an immediate effect on the team in colours as they sought to prevent the monster from the Urals from doing too much damage. While the colours did prevent him from scoring, having to devote so much attention to him left space for their other danger men and W-C Will and Sam both found the net as the bibs eventually eased away from the team in colours.

In terms of notable incidents there was one fairly agricultural challenge on Boro Dave from Alex which left the Teesside hitman in a heap long after the ball had gone. There was also a disputed shout for a penalty, chiefly from Yev, after Steve A had taken the ball a bit too far into the box, where goalkeeper Mick blocked. Perversely, the Bibs had claimed that it was Mick who had left the area, but thankfully justice was done. Given we were a man down and also facing a team making regular substitutions that would have stuck in the craw somewhat. My chief contribution was to get away with a cheeky handball which evaded everyone’s attention except Joe.

The refurbishment at the Old Fountain’s Head seems virtually complete, roof terrace notwithstanding. Perhaps this had attracted a larger than usual non-football crowd in there, including a healthy smattering of young ladies. They must have sensed danger, as within half an hour of Yev sitting anywhere near them they’d taken flight into the north London darkness.

Until next week...

Dear Reader, hopefully this will work out! Spizz returns.

2011-12-23T03:16:00.000-08:00

Gashead Simon writes the match report.
Friday 16 December
Do they know it’s Christmas?
The last game of the year, a whole three weeks before the next game with an orgy of eating and drinking in-between called Christmas … surely there would be a big turnout at the Finsbury Leisure Centre on Friday 16 December? Well, no actually. So, well done to those nine hardy players who took to the Astroturf on a decidedly crisp evening and a black mark to those who cried off at the last minute, citing ‘other plans’ – we know who you are and what you were up to!
A winter’s tale
With Simon Jarvis away and Joe holidaying in Havana, the thorny task of team selection was left to Mick, who, redefining the word decisiveness, took 5 seconds to do what seems to take most of us an eternity. So, for the last match of the year, the sides were: Simon, Boro Dave, Yevgeny, young Sam and Geoff against Ross, Alan, Mick, Hugh and Danny. On paper, seemingly balanced, you would think, but, in reality, slightly lopsided, especially when one of your team has not turned up (no prizes for guessing who!).
Immediately, both sides went on the attack and, as predictably as night follows day, immediately the defensive mistakes started. Mick’s team went one nil up with a cool finish from Hugh before Yevgeny quickly equallised. Two goals in two minutes and no defence worthy of the name – it was going to be a goalfest and so the evening proved.
Stop the cavalry – Geoff has arrived!
Geoff eventually appeared and went on Simon’s side – unfortunately, no amount of attacking threat from Boro Dave and young Sam can make up for sloppy passing and an unwillingness to track back– Alan Morgan helped himself to an early Christmas present, as did Danny, and before too long the game was getting away from Simon’s side … until something extraordinary happened.
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing!
Spizz arrived albeit some 10 minutes late and went on Simon’s side (for about 15 minutes) and, amazingly, not only went in goal when asked, but stayed there with little complaint for a whole 10 minutes, proving himself quite an adept keeper. Simon’s side now had a numerical advantage and the two-goal deficit was quickly clawed back, through a lucky deflected goal from Yev and a slide rule finish from Boro Dave. 4-4 and the game appeared finely balanced.
Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!
It’s raining goals – and Spizz, who has now been switched to Alan’s side, is now doing what he loves best – goalhanging – and, inevitably, getting on the score sheet. Shot for shot, misplaced pass for misplaced mass and Geoff’s capacity to bemuse and frustrate in equal measure – and more goals were inevitable! By now Alan’s side were leading 7-5 and seemingly heading for victory until young Sam got on the end of a sumptuous curling pass from Simon – an assist that should live long in people’s memory, but, like the last one, will probably have been forgotten by the time people get to the Old Fountain. Another quick goal from Sam and it was 7-7. Hurrah! Until, inevitably, another defensive lapse and Mick’s side took the lead, only for a last gap equaliser and a highly improbable 8-8 draw. Both sides seemed reasonably happy with the result, Simon’s especially that they hadn’t lost, although what Alan Hansen would have made of it … - well, I think we can all guess!
Merry Xmas everybody!
A high-scoring draw to end the year – well there could have been worse ways to round off the year from a footballing perspective. However, if there’s one wish for 2012 – it’s that everybody track back and defend! If you don’t want to be burgled, don’t leave the back door open, as Brian Clough didn’t say. On that sober note, I would like to wish everybody a very merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, and see you all on Friday 6 January!

Party fears too
P.S. Much to Yev’s annoyance, the Christmas party was postponed as quite a few of the stalwarts were missing. It will be rescheduled sometime next year.

Apologies for technical delay over blog!!

2011-12-23T03:07:00.000-08:00

Dear Reader, apologies for the delay concerning the blog. The next post has already been written by Gashead Simon but I am having problems uploading it. Never mind I am sure we will get there in the end. Meanwhile, Spizz is on the tour trail again with various formats; Spizzenergi, Spizzoil and Wild Mutation. The punk rocker is even venturing abroad hopefully to improve the country's foreign relations with a gig in Rennes, France.

I smell Winter

2011-12-05T03:56:00.000-08:00

The first Friday in December certainly felt like Winter, with players desperate for the added warmth of a bib, even if they are full of holes. With Joe taking a rare sabbatical, I took over team selection for the week and picked the following teams –

Bibs: me, the Guvnor, Simon Gas, Dan, Boro Dave, Sam
Non-bibs: Steve A, Alex, Danny, Alan, Gooner Ian, Wing Commander Will

So six-aside, which meant that the chill December air quickly became irrelevant as everyone had to start running around rather more than is customary. The team in colours must have been energised by the absence of the layer of warmth afforded by the bibs, as they ran out 4-3 winners. Alan bagged a hat-trick - two of his goals being real opportunist’s efforts, as he pounced on a clearance that flew across the area and passed it first time into the net; the goal which turned out to be the winner came courtesy of an underhit backpass that he intercepted and finished, despite complaints that he was in the area, (he wasn’t).

At the other end Boro Dave and Dan posed the greatest threat and formed a potent partnership, scoring all three of the bibs’ goals. The opening goal from the bibs was a real peach; a festival of movement and one touch passing saw Boro Dave ping the ball to the bottom left hand corner after receiving a delightful pass from Dan. After the game Simon Gas was full of opprobrium for yours truly, as I apparently mis-controlled a “defence-splitting” pass which neither I nor anyone else could recall. It seemed to be open season on my good self, as the Guvnor also felt moved to mock my efforts on goal, despite originally opining that I had been unlucky to miss with a curling right footed effort. Two pints of lime and soda later he was positively scornful.

Aside from Paul’s mocking derision of my ability to shoot on target, other highlights from the Old Fountain’s Head included Boro Dave’s controversial assertion that the Stone Roses’ Second Coming is a superior record to their legendary eponymous debut. With just two Fridays left to play before Christmas – there are no plans currently to play on Friday 23^rd, although Simon Gas and I did discuss this (I had visions of a Tron-like encounter between the two of us – Simon versus Simon, as it were - with perhaps a turkey apiece in goal (assuming the Guvnor’s available, wink wink) – conversation turned to Christmas parties. Simon Gas has suggested the Bierkeller in Islington, so for those of you available on the 16^th, which out for more news.

Until Friday, Blog-a-Bloke: checking out.

One in the eye for youth

2011-11-29T02:45:00.000-08:00

After the veritable feast of last week’s seven-minutes a pop footballing smorgasbord, it was back to the more mundane bread and butter of regular Friday night action. What looked initially like a energy sapping game of six aside morphed into a far more congested game of eight versus eight after the introduction of Yev, seemingly running on central Ural time, and two youngsters (‘having the time of their lives’, as they always say to the mascots): young Sam and Khalid. The somewhat curious decision was taken to put both teenagers onto the same side, meaning that the team wearing bibs featured two Sams (one young, one not-quite-so-young), in addition to Mick, Andy, Simon Inkpen and Geoff. I’ve missed someone out, but I’m jiggered if I can remember who.

Lining up in colours were myself, Simon Gas, Big Dave A and his brother Steve, Joe, Wing Commander Will and Ian, lurking dangerously up front in the traditional goalhanger position, (also known as the ‘Spizz role’) alongside Yev.

Perhaps unsurprisingly the fluidity and vim of two pairs of teenage legs told over the course of forty minutes, with Khalid opening the scoring after an Alan Hansen-defying pass across the back from Simon Gas was intercepted. Khalid also rifled in a second from an acute angle and smashed a third past yours truly. It wasn’t all one way traffic, however, with Yev poaching a goal following some defensive uncertainty and Ian Gooner taking a great goal which went like a tracer bullet into the bottom corner. WC Will also struck a post and Steve had a chance to score, but just failed to keep his shot down having done well to control a rising ball.

On that subject, I was the subject of some unfair criticism from Ian Gooner, who opined that my first ten touches had all ballooned up in the air. Rubbish. My first touch was a first time cushioned pass to which never left the deck. He was obviously too far away to see properly, mired as he was on the edge of the area.

Despite getting back to 3-1 and 4-2 a breakaway saw Mick steer the ball past the keeper with a first time shot which left the colours with too much to do. In terms of talking points, perhaps the main one was the ‘injury’ to Khalid’s right eye, following a challenge from Steve A. The ball was won cleanly enough, but Khalid screamed in agony and went down clutching his right eye in the manner of a latter-day King Harold. Close inspection revealed that, as suspected, the eye was a bit red, although that seemed to be more due to the fact he kept rubbing it while moaning about his vision being affected.

I think the final score was 5-3.

Little to report from a packed Old Fountain’s Head this week, aside from Andy’s generous round of whiskeys to mark his final appearance of 2011.

One final thought; Rest In Peace, Gary Speed.

Until next time…

Dargan Cup 2011

2011-11-22T08:22:00.000-08:00

Here’s the promised second part of last week’s big match round-up, as promised by the Guvnor. Thank you for your kind words about the black team of which I was part – we were perhaps too cautious in the first game and paid the price for conceding two late goals against the greens and the blues. Anyway, on to the main business…

The second Dargan Cup took place last Friday evening, with five teams of seven(ish) fighting for the Jules Rimet-style trophy that accompanied last year’s inaugural tournament to commemorate the fact that Mr. Sam Dargan had found a wife.

Three of those teams – the greens, the blues and the blacks – were made up of the various characters who typically play from 7.00 pm to 7.40 pm, with the other two – the whites and the red and white stripes – coming from the 8.00 pm to closing time crew (at that’s what time they usually appear in the pub).

Props to Ian Gough for organising the round robin tournament, which saw each team play one another once. With just seven minutes for each match, the scorelines looked understandably binary, with a proliferation of 1-0, 0-0 and 1-1 scorelines. As the games unfolded a clear pattern emerged, with Team 4, i.e. the whites, winning all but one of the round robin games (a 0-0 draw with the black team. Clearly, the yin and the yang balanced on this occasion). With ten points from their first four games ~~the whites~~ – I’ll capitalise them to make their achievements seem more impressive – The Whites made the final, where they awaited the winners of the semi final between the greens and the blues. The greens, many people’s tip before the start, including big names like Yevgeniy, Alex from Stoke and Big Dave, found themselves facing the prospect of penalties to make the final and seek vengeance from their earlier smiting by The Whites. Sadly, the wizard of the Potteries followed the path of so many legends of English football and failed from the penalty spot to send the Blues through, (as they made the final they too can earn Proper Noun status).

White versus Blue saw an end to the binary system as goals from the Theo Walcott lookalike and Gooner Kev saw the Whites take the trophy, meaning that for the second time in its two year history the Dargan Cup belonged to the 8.00 pm crew. Actually, it belongs to the Old Fountain’s Head, assuming possession is nine tenths of the law, but there you go.

It was sad to see intra-team bickering from the Blues as the final whistle approached, with Mick giving Sam some verbals, which was a bit off considering the reason we were all there. What can you say; it’s a passionate game.

For the record, the final table stood as follows:

First place: White Team, aka ‘Get Back & Defend’ (Team Four) 10 points; winners of the final
Runner-up: Blue Team, aka ‘Simon and the Cruyff turns’ (Team Two) Six points; losing finalists
Third place: Green Team, aka ‘Geoff's around the pitch wanderers’ Six points; losing semi-finalist
Fourth place: Black Team, aka ‘Aiton's High Kickers’; Four points
Fifth place: Red and white stripes, aka ‘Lags Eleven’ [they looked a bit rough]; Two points

Some members of Lags Eleven and other miscellaneous participants from other teams played on into the Friday night; I’d already got changed to get to the pub (the comments on the semi-final came via hearsay and post-match interviews). A cracking turn-out at the tournament for the inevitable post-mortems; many thanks to all those who made the effort, despite not playing regularly due to childcare commitments and injury.

And so on to 2012’s tournament… here’s to you, Mrs. Dargan.

This is just a prologue to the main match report of Gooner Simon!!

2011-11-21T02:19:00.000-08:00

Last Friday was extraordinary. There was a veritable blizzard of emails between the various members of the Dargan Cup teams over bibs, colours etc. They included a bombshell email from Blades Andy about the possibility of a German tour in February. Seven guys have already committed while there will be no WAGs to avoid the disastrous World Cup campaign of the English team when their wifes and girlfriends went on shopping sprees designed to increase further Germany's current account surplus.
The actual Dargan Cup was a resounding success brilliantly organised by Big Ian G. with
an amazing 36 players turning up on time. I got a couple of games, one improbably leading the attack for the Blues, which we actually won. In the first game Big Ian made an amazing save sticking out a leg to keep out a deflected shot, which could have led us to lose 2-0 and miss out on our eventual place in the final.
I thought the Black Tops had a very creditable performance, not losing one of their four games, scoring two goals and actually taking the courage to rotate their goalie. The Greens were very pleasing to the eye with Alex, Yev and Ross carrying out waves of attacks. However, the Blues got to the final to represent the 7pm teams courtesy of our only outfield goal when Alan Morg.'s speculative shot down the middle was helped in by the opposition goalie and by a save from Gashead Simon in a penalty shot-out against the Greens.
This blog was originally started to chart a possible team visit to German involving punk star Spizz. If the Frankfurt visit comes off, I hope Spizz can come although he is into all things Italian at the moment. Unfortunately, he missed the Dargan Cup but sent his good wishes!!
Gooner Simon said he would do the match reports. I missed some of the play because I had to go and find a match ball, which had been kicked out into the bushes. However, I thought the two players of the tournament were Alan Morg., who could have got a possible Golden Boot award, if was not for a stunning, diving save from Blades Andy onto the post, and Lyall, who played for the White Team, who deservedly won the Dargan Cup.

PS. Just to give our blog readers some info. In the past month there have been 71 pageviews from the Netherlands, 69 from Germany, 53 from the United Kingdom, 22 from the United States and 12 from Georgia. Your interest is very much appreciated. Best regards from Gooner Simon, the Guvnor and Spizz.

Scottish goalkeepers, plus Dargan Cup preview

2011-11-16T15:08:00.000-08:00

Apologies for the delay in getting this posted; I spent the majority of Monday evening and Tuesday alternating between my settee and my toilet with a nasty bout of vomiting and diarrhoea. The whole experience has left me somewhat discombobulated, so you’ll have to forgive me if I don’t accurately recall all of last Friday’s game.

The bibs rang out 4-2 winners with Yev doing most of the damage for the bibs with at least two goals, one of them a trademark howitzer from an acute angle that managed to wrong foot Simon Gas between the sticks. At the other end Dave A stood firm in goal, bar one uncharacteristic blunder that brought all of those 1970’s jokes about Scottish goalkeepers flooding back like a BBC2 nostalgia show. Playing for the colours were Joe, still picking the teams with great aplomb, as well as luminaries like Andy, Steve A , Ian Gough (goalhanging with great effect) and the aforementioned Simon Gas.

In terms of other memorable incidents, Andy was the victim of a very harsh handball decision on the edge of his own area, although this lead to very little; a few minutes later Steve A hurtled out of goal – and his area – and conceded a free-kick. Simon Gas, Steve’s team-mate, later admitted it should have been a penalty, but decided not to say anything as his team were losing.

Boro Dave, are you reading this?

And so to the Old Fountain’s Head, where preparations for Friday’s Dargan Cup began apace. As I write there are three provisional teams, (see below), with the following rule changes for the big night:

- The ball will not go dead when the back boards are hit
- There is no direct back pass to goal keeper

I think you’ll agree there’s plenty of scope for both calamity and comedy, particularly as people get progressively tired the longer the night wears on.

Join me next week for a full review of the second Dargan Cup, currently residing behind the bar in the pub.

Team : Aiton's High Kickers	Team : Geoff's around the pitch wanderers	Team : Simon and the Cruyff turns
Black Tops	Green Tops	Blue tops
Stephen Aiton	Alex Charnley	Keir Mcumiskey
Danny Woodier	Dave Aiton	Michael Kavanagh
Dave Landos	Yevgeniy Zenchenko	Alan Morgan
Simon Inkpen	Ross Bicknell	Ian Gough
Will	Andy Moore	Simon George
Ian Geary	Geoff Pruton	Sam Dargan
Simon Jarvis	Joe cox	Alex friend Dan
		Paul Tanner

Of riders, raincoats and redundant language

2011-11-06T10:45:00.000-08:00

There is something genuinely odd about the fortnightly rhythm of people turning up to play on a Friday evening which means that one week there’s enough players to fill a stadium, (never mind two teams), while the next week it’s akin to organising a kick around on the deck of the Marie Celeste. Last Friday was definitely more like the former than the latter, with two teams of eight; for the first time in a few weeks there was no need to pad out the numbers with some of the footballing young guns that appear like midnight mushrooms whenever there’s a sniff of a (free) game.

Lining up for the bibs were Boro Dave, Dan, Andy, Paul ‘The Guvnor ‘ Tanner, Sam, Keir and the mercurial Geoff while the team in colours comprised Big Dave, Alan, Joe, Alex, Ian, myself, Simon Gas (who spent much of the game in goal) and Simon Inkpen (leading to the so-called ‘Old Street Simon Conjunction’, whereby all three Simons appear on the same team). As ever, many apologies if I have missed anyone out.

Yev played the first twenty minutes for the team in colours and the second twenty minutes for the bibs. Mick was also scheduled to appear, but was delayed by a late story for his employer the Financial Times, no doubt something to do with the Hellenic fiscal meltdown.

The final score was 4-2 to the team in colours. Alex (who else) opened the scoring for the colours and other goals from Joe, who was ploughing a lonely but productive furrow out on the left and (I think) Yev saw them take a 4-1 lead. Yev definitely scored the final goal of the game to make it 4-2: I am sure of this as I was in goal at the time and was unable to see the ball until it appeared goalside of Big Dave. It is never easy to switch horses half way through a game and props to Yev for both agreeing to take the reins for the bibs and for displaying such effective footballing equestrianism. What an appalling analogy.

And thus to the Old Fountain’s Head where Mick lay in wait, having finally finished his day’s work. It was one of the more interesting evenings I’ve spent in there of late, as discussion veered from the John Terry race row to the differing approaches taken by the former axis powers to their war-time history in the aftermath of the Second World War, and on to the post-colonial legacy in Zimbabwe. At this point Andy shared a fascinating anecdote about filming Robert Mugabe on a visit to a school in the early 1990’s before he accompanied Yev on what can only be described as a lascivious lap of the pub to catch sight of a young lady that the Ukrainian Lothario had spied from his perch in the corner. (If you’re reading, Mrs Andy, I can only say that he was lead astray). There was just time for Mick’s Peter Falk impression in tribute to Simon Gas’s fawn overcoat which made him look, variously, like a private detective, a rakish secret agent from the swinging 60’s and a flasher before the evening ended with a debate about social class and accents and a Latin tutorial from Mick.

As the FT man might say, bis pueri senes, (old men are twice children).

Rumble in the urban Jungle

2011-10-31T03:32:00.001-07:00

Another week, another match report and another struggle for players, which in the wake of last week’s mob scene came as something of a surprise. Simon Gas and Joe managed to get us to seven aside by recruiting young Sam, Yusuf, a lad called Mark (I think) and the big Gooner with the Jack Wilshere shirt. The teams lined up thusly; Bibs: Young Sam, Big Dave, Yusuf, Alex, Mark, myself and big Wilshere. Colours: Joe, Simon Gas, Boro Dave, Yev, regular Sam, Dan and someone else (apologies, mystery man).

I think most felt that the team in bibs were a shoo-in for the win and they duly took the lead through young Sam, who passed the ball past Simon Gas in goal. But the team in colours equalised, much against the run of play, when a shot from Boro Dave took a massive deflection wrong footing Big Dave in goal. And although the Bibs had most of the possession they over elaborated terribly in front of goal, passing when they could have shot and missing the target when they did elect to shoot. Young Sam alone could have had at least four goals. The team in colours played the classic Rumble in the Jungle rope-a-dope trick and with strikers as dangerous as Yev and Boro Dave they scored two more to make it 3-1 before Joe completed the scoring from a free kick which the team in Bibs ought to have closed down, (taking nothing away from Joe who had an excellent game).

The Bibs continued to amass possession, but with a three goal cushion the colours defended deeply and frustrated the Bibs, who lacked the teeth to finish off what was at times sublime passing football. So 4-1 it finished – the puncher had beaten the boxer.

Sadly it was not as easy to recruit young lads to drink with, so it was a fairly tame evening in the Old Fountain’s Head, with just four drinkers present, although Big Dave came down after finishing his stint with the eight ‘o’ clock crew.

Can the Can

2011-10-24T03:53:00.000-07:00

Compare and contrast - from last week’s game, where Simon Gas was forced to draft in some local lads to make the game up to more than five aside, Friday’s game had a veritable cast of thousands playing: with 9 (nine) players on each team the pitch looked like the set of Ben Hur. In fact, such were the numbers that Paul ‘The Guvnor’ selflessly substituted himself after the arrival of Yev for the first time this season (Yev being fashionably late, as ever).

I usually try to list the players on each team, but with eighteen players to get through that might be a bit dull; also, Alex brought in a few new faces and I’m not too sure what they were all called, (I know there was one chap called Tim but beyond that I haven’t got a Scooby).

With so many players and so many pairs of legs, the play at times resembled the legendary Folies Bergère doing the can can, with legs lifting and falling as the ball ricocheted between boots, ankles, shins (knees and toes, knees and toes) and probably squeaked for mercy. That said, the game itself wasn’t half bad and ended one apiece – Boro Dave opened the scoring for the team in colours when following some good work down the right he shot first time into a goal that was fairly unguarded as yours truly remained rooted to the near post. Clear chances being at a premium owing to the forest of defenders around either goal it looked like that could prove enough for some time, but Yev eventually poached a deserved equaliser for the team in bibs after a suicidal pass from Sam reached Yev on the edge of the D. Vulture-like, he rammed the ball home.

I think it’s fair to say that at the rattle for the end none of us felt like we’d played for more than 20 minutes, let along 40, but they say time flies when you’re having fun.

Finally, I can’t let the week’s blog pass without some mention of the weekend’s extraordinary Premier League action. Goals galore, red cards brandished, open goals missed – and Mario Balotelli setting fire to his own house. The Manchester derby score was arguably a worse result for Man U than the 8-2 caning they handed out to Arsenal, given that they were playing at home with their first choice 11 against the nearest rivals, but any thoughts of schadenfreude from me were tempered by the thought of what City might to do to Arsenal given that we lost to by six goals to a team that has now lost by five – by my reckoning Arsenal will lose 11-2 on the 18th December.

The miracle of Old Street

2011-10-17T13:12:00.000-07:00

It’s been a while since Paul has asked me to write the post match blog, but I am always happy to wax lyrical about Friday night football. I see that since the end of last season there have been two posted blogs: one ranting about my beloved Arsenal and one commenting on last week’s 4-2 encounter which heralded the return of the prodigal Paul.

Last week’s encounter saw Simon again struggle for numbers – Wherefore art, thou, footballers? – so in addition to myself, Spizz, Simon Gas, Andy, Paul, Joe (who has turned into Team Selector par excellence), Alex, Big Dave, Danny, Alex’s Welsh mate Dan we also had guest appearances from young Sam and Yusuf. The team in bibs roared into a handsome lead as Alex gave his customary Man Of The Match performance, running the show from back to front and scoring four (I think) of the goals. His team-mates included Andy, who selflessly took no less than three turns between the sticks, myself, Spizz – who was uncharacteristically profligate in front of goal – Joe and Yusuf. At 5-1 ahead the team in colours, comprising Simon Gas, Sam, Big Dave, Danny and Dan and Paul managed to pull one back to make it 5-2, at which point Danny later admitted he was hoping they could make the score look a bit more respectable. Chances continued to come thick and fast for the team in bibs with Spizz unable to hit a cow’s arse with a microphone stand, Joe lifting one over from the edge of the D and myself hitting post and bar and drawing a great save from Simon Gas.

At the other end the side in colours managed to pull another back to make 5-3, before either Yusuf or Alex made it 6-3. Surely game over? Somewhere in the midst of all this came one of those world-stops-turning moments where Paul pounced on a loose ball in front of goal and drove the ball toward the far post. Time slowed down; continents stopped drifting; London pigeons paused in midflight; Big Dave screamed ‘It’s in!’. It wasn’t. The ball span back off the post, clipped Andy’s heels in goal and came to rest tantalising close to the goal-line. But not close enough. Time sped back up; continents groaned back into action; the pigeons shat on the roofs of Old Street; Big Dave turned around and fouled someone.

With around five minutes left Alex, selflessly, nobly, tragically, offered to relieve Andy from his latest stint in goal. The score at that stage stood at 6-4 to the time in bibs. Five minutes later the team in colours had conceded three goals in a festival of negligent defending, appalling tracking and incisive passing and finishing from Sam and Dan which cut the bibs into smithereens. Alex came out of goal in a desperate attempt to equalise before the rattle, but to no avail.The miracle of Old Street was complete, even without Paul's near miss.

Paul had written a blog on the 24^th August moaning about Arsenal’s inability to sign new players who weren’t French; he might have written an anti-Arsenal piece about our unrivalled ability to implode and there was something positively Wengeresque about the bibs’ late capitulation. Having said that, if someone other than me and Andy had offered to go in goal (hello, Spizz!) we would have won.

Until next week...

We went down 4-2 last Friday following Spizz double.

2011-10-04T03:44:00.000-07:00

Last Friday I came back after a long delay following a lack of fitness. Our side was kept in the game by Alex but we went down 4-2 following a Spizz double. The punk star was in dogged form after being close a few times. We tried to mount a come-back and hit the bar. However, Big Dave was very well-organised at the back for them. Other solid performances came from Gooner Simon while Gashead Simon made a fantastic diving save for us, which at the time kept us in the
game.

My rant against the Gooners!!! The Guvnor

2011-08-24T08:28:00.000-07:00

I am sorry to say that I am going to have a rant against the Gooners just before the crunch
European League game against the Italian team Udinese. I went to the game at the Emirates
(still commonly known as the Library) between Arsenal against Liverpool and I have been to happier funerals as we witnessed the dismantling of the Arsene Wenger dream. The Gooner manager seems to have an obsession of getting in Francophone players and the disciplinary
record of 88 sending offs over 15 seasons is not good. When Pimpong went, it was obvious that Liverpool would stroll to a victory. Perhaps Kenny Dalglish had to overpay to get Carroll etc but
at least he is in the market for good players. Arsene seems to want to buy inexpensive French players and turn them into superstars but players like Henry and Pires are few and far between.
It was not good that the leading U.S shareholder in Arsenal, Kroenke, had to fly over to tell
Wenger to get on with the sale of Nasri. Also, Fabregas should have been sold at the beginning of
the close season so they could buy reinforcements at leisure.

Manchester United bought quickly this summer and the transfer acquisitions are handled (I think) by David Gill, who just gets a shopping list from Sir Alex Ferguson. Also if players don't
want to play for Ferguson or if they cause much trouble they are just shipped out. The Fabregas
transfer was just so draining for Arsenal.

However, I was very impressed with Liverpool players like Adam, Jose Enrique, Suarez and Flanagan. But it could have been a different result if Nasri scored in the first half after a great run while Van Persie just shot at Reina from a cross when he should have scored.

I have'nt talked to any of the Friday night players with the exception of Gashead. We are going for a quick sifter this Friday to discuss the prospects for the coming season, which starts on
September 2nd. All are invited. Hopefully, Spizz will be at something approaching full fitness and players like Stevo and Boro Dave are less allergic to doing their stint at goal. Otherwise I will be moaning on about a discount.

End of season 2010-2011

2011-07-01T06:33:00.000-07:00

So, another season of Friday night football ends. Last week’s final game saw a 4-1 victory for the team in bibs, despite the side in colours taking a first minute lead. Andy ‘the Vulture’ swooped ominously onto a delicate through ball from (I think) Mick and after skipping past Paul slammed in a shot past Sam in goal. That was as good as it got for team in colours, however, as despite the efforts of such footballing luminaries as Boro Dave, Mick, Big Dave, Joe and Simon Gas - and a near monopoly in midfield – the combined firepower of Yev and Ross did the damage up front for the team in bibs. 4-1 didn’t really tell the full story of what was a competitive game, but Big Dave’s decision not to take either Ross or Yev as striker proved decisive and although the bibs hit the metalwork and saw plenty of the ball, they couldn’t make that pressure count.

Yev got at least bibs’ goals two of the goals to sign off in style for the Summer, with Ross also appearing on the scoresheet. As Sam opined after the game, it was victory for an innovative 4-0-4 formation. Watch out for it next season.

And so to the real business of the day, as after a brief stop in the Fountains Head for some aperitifs we headed for the Red Dog Saloon in Hoxton Square, (losing Boro Dave and Big Ian for a short time for reasons unclear). The thirteen or so footballers present proceeded to demolish a bewildering array of red meat and chips, with Boro Dave taking on something called the ‘Devastator’. I can’t find details of what this leviathan of the burger world contained, but suffice to say that it looked as if it would ‘devastate’ your waist line for the foreseeable future. There was some sort of challenge associated with the burger’s consumption which entailed getting through a milkshake and large fries, but Dave eschewed such frippery and stuck to the meat.

After the first three pitchers of lager disappeared in record time it would appear that at least three of us took it upon ourselves to order two more, with the net result that we ended up with enough beer to refloat the Cutty Sark. Inevitably, it all got drunk, alongside some digestif whiskeys. At this point our behaviour lurched into the realms of boorishness, as in response to another table of diners singing ‘happy birthday’ we broke into a series of songs extolling the virtues of Simon George: from the ubiquitous ‘one Simon George’ to ‘Simon George on the wing’ to ‘Oooohhh, Simon Simon; Simon, Simon, Simon, Simon Geo-orge’. The staff told then told us to shut up, not unreasonably.

And what had Simon done to warrant such adulation? In addition to organising another year of football fun on Friday evenings, he had picked up the tab for 13 gourmet burgers and an ocean of lager. Truly, a Prince among men. After some toasts to absent friends and then our wives and girlfriends Danny deservedly picked up the gong for player of the season to unanimous acclaim.

Until August, here’s to the British Summer and most of all to Simon.

Next goal wins!

2011-06-20T04:02:00.000-07:00

It’s been a long time since I heard that phrase used in a context other than a Ron Manager-style nostalgia-fest, but I heard it on Friday night and the next goal duly won. On an evening when the British Summer seemed like a cruel joke and with the scores at 10-5 to the team in colours, Boro Dave suggested that we finish playing with the next goal, as it had become apparent that the 7.40 crew had cried off due to the monsoon enveloping north London. A hoof forward resulted in an over-the-head free kick off of Dave A and Ian Geary tapped the ball sideways for Steve A to rifle in the bottom right hand corner of the net and decide the match in favour of the team who were losing 10-5.

That was, I think, Steve A’s hat-trick on the night (he also hit the metalwork a couple of times, once with a shot that literally sang off the crossbar and soared high into the air) – Danny (who I thought was man of the match) bagged another for the team in bibs with Ross also on the score-sheet. The other bibbers were myself, Andy and Joe up against Dave A, Simon Gas, Paul, Yev, Boro Dave, Mick and Simon Inkpen. Yev and Dave terrorised the bibs with some characteristically menacing forward play and both bagged at least a brace, albeit with the aid of some goalkeeping slips from myself (mind you, the ball was so wet it felt like it had been greased with margarine). With Mick pulling the strings in midfield it was a tiring night, although the bibs showed much determination to come back from 5-1 at one stage and with better shooting may have got nearer the ten goals that the colours scored.

One of Yev’s goals was one of those acute angle finishes that appeared to have bent the known three dimensions, although the ball did appear to pick up backspin having come off Andy’s arm. That said, there was at least one goal scored at the other end that slithered through the keeper’s arms on a night that was as wet as an otter’s pocket. In fact, so heavy and relentless was the rain that by eight o’clock I felt like I was wearing chain mail (and played as much, to be fair).

With the golden goal ending proceedings on the field we repaired to the Fountain’s Head where talk centred on next Friday’s end-of-season gala evening which this year will take place in an American diner in Hoxton. Simon Gas has stated with some gravitas that this place has a ‘Chilled Out Vibe’ – I can’t imagine there are too many instances when Simon would use the word ‘vibe’, although I expect he deploys the adjective ‘chilled’ on a regular basis when ordering his butler to prepare a bottle of Chablis for dinner.

So, until Friday, when we can experience the Chilled Out Vibe in all it’s glory.

This post comes entirely from hearsay in the pub!!

2011-06-17T07:09:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers, this post comes entirely from hearsay in the pub because last
Friday (June 12th, 2011) I went to Westminster Cathedral to the ordination of
five former Anglican vicars to the Ordinariate. This is a special ministry invented
by the current Pope, Benedict, otherwise known as the Panzerkardinal. This ministry
allows Anglican vicars, even if they are married, to be fast-tracked into the
Roman Catholic Church. This is despite the tinsy-weensy problem that the Universal
Church exacts a rule of celibacy from normal Catholic priests. Did I say normal?
I should have said real Catholic priests.

In any event, the two hour service started at 5.30pm so no way could I get to the game but I could amble along to the pub to get the post-mortem. The game ended
4-3 after the winning team was losing 1-3 at one stage. Apparently, there was
a bit of hand-bags between Big Dave and Boro Dave (the clash of the Daves).
If I was there I could have put my conflict resolution skills to good use
(I have not really got any!!). I don't even know if Spizz played or not.

I hope to play tonight (I have'nt been rotated yet!!) and I hope to get a three quid
discount on a) my bipolar disorder, b) my cancer, c)nobody passes to me and d)
a small honorarium for doing the blogs, although I would share the specific element
of the discount with Gooner Simon, who does excellent blogs.

Next week is our last game before the summer break and I think we are going to
some new American burger joint in Hoxton, which will be a change. Usually for
any end-of-season meals we tend to go to a curry and then complain it was a load of rubbish.

Last week saw a pulsating 2-2 draw!!

2011-06-09T00:51:00.000-07:00

For the first time the Spizz irregulars managed to pick two matched and fair sides. It was a bit hot and sunny with Danny the
Diplomat actually playing with a baseball hat in the second half when we changed ends; an event which young Sam described as unprecedented!!

The first goal came when Mick K. with pure Brummie skill drove a rising left-foot shot early from a free-kick pass. It was a wonderful goal only marred by the fact that Mick did not come to the pub afterwards to talk it through. One factor was that I was Mick's marker and should have been a lot tighter.

This goal came after a long period at 0-0. We came storming back with Alex getting the equaliser with a bouncing shot while Danny got us ahead with a lovely long-range
shot. Perhaps we could have secured a convincing win if Joe had his shooting boots on but at least he got into the positions. I set him up in a central position and Joe could have chosen left or right but it was not to be. Big Ian said I had bottled it and should have got a shot off. However, Joe was in the far better position and
I had my back to goal.

The equaliser came dramatically when Stevie A. was judged to have played the ball in the area. What happened was the ball bounced off his head when he was standing on the penalty spot. His brother Big Dave said that no way it was a penalty while Big Ian commented that he did not believe a word the Ayr United supporter said
(about close football decisions). Yev strolled up and slotted the penalty in the top corner.

Spizz is playing in North London this Saturday check the website www.spizzenergi.com
while my local cafe is holding an art exhibition Saturday June 25th. This is
Chase Lounge, which is located at 129 Chase Side, Enfield, EN2 6NN.

Still no luck on the discount but the last match of the season is on June 24th and maybe I will have better luck in September.

20/05/2011: 2-2

2011-05-24T08:50:00.001-07:00

A more competitive game this week, with last week’s mathematically challenging encounter a distantly weird memory. The team in colours took a two goal lead through Yev, back from his travels, before the side in bibs rallied to make it two apiece, both strikes coming through Alex who clearly hadn’t let Stoke’s FA Cup final defeat dent his confidence. 2-2 it finished, making it an easier game to report on. Dave A had stayed in goal for most of the game, urging on a team including his brother, Joe – who contrived to miss a hatshop full of chances (including one where he managed to put Simon Gas on his arse before coming over all Arsenal and overegging the pudding) – as well as Danny, Geoff, myself and the aforementioned Yev, who was also slightly profligate in front of goal.

The team in bibs boasted a twin strike force of Ross and Spizz – roll n rock, if you will – although their goals came from Alex in midfield. The rest of the bibbed team comprised Ian Geary, Hugh, Simon Gas and Simon Inkpen.

More busty barmaids in the Old Fountain’s head this week, as you’d expect with Summer hurtling towards us. From what I could gather, the post-match talk centred around Arsenal’s future chances of success without a change of manager, West Ham’s relegation and the fact Yev’s wife no longer buys him beer because they are married. Them’s the breaks, as they say.

Quantum Football

2011-05-18T12:41:00.000-07:00

Following a four week hiatus as a result of Royal Weddings, religious holidays and visits to Cornish in-laws I returned to the Friday night football fray last week to see the newly svelte(ish) form of Spizz for the first time since September; the Prodigal Punk returns. Spizz took up his customary position of ~~goalhanger~~ centre forward par excellence alongside myself, Steve, Ross, Joe, a denim-clad Mick (looking even more like a Top Gear presenter than usual), Hugh and Keir. Collectively, we made up what is arguably the worst team ever to take the field at Finsbury Leisure Centre.

The final score may have been 11-1; it may also have been anything from 13-1 to 16-1. As you can imagine, it was difficult to pick out one goal in particular, or even one goal scorer. Boro Dave bagged at least two, as, I think, did big Ian. I certainly remember one first time finish from Ian that flew in. I am reliably informed that Alan got four goals, while Danny had to make do with a hat-trick. Frankly, Stephen Hawking would have fancied his chances of getting on the score sheet by the end – there were two goals, one from Danny, which appeared to have defied the laws of physics. Come to think of it, perhaps Stephen Hawking was involved. I tried to tackle Boro Dave as he shaped to shoot only to divert the ball past whichever schmuck happened to be charged with keeping goal for us at the time - I'm not still not sure how. By the end of the game the team in colours had reached a higher state of footballing consciousness; the players had only to conceptualise the notion of a goal using some form of collective mental synchronicity and the ball would zip effortlessly across the pitch and ping off a low flying pigeon, or a defender’s elbow and nestle happily in the corner of the net. Sheer quantum football.

Against this brand of soccer alchemy there was little the team in bibs could do. The one goal we did manage came courtesy of a trademark daisy cutter from, inevitably, Spizz which at least gave the quantum footballers pause for thought, however brief. As the rattle sounded Simon Gas opined that the sides weren’t that unbalanced – perhaps not in terms of the known three dimensions, but given the awesome cognitive power at their disposal it was like trying to down a fighter jet with a spud gun.

Was this a one-off, a once in a generation occurrence akin to the passing of Halley’s comet, or will next Friday see a new array of physic weaponry? Only time, such as it exists, will tell.

We are a couple of match reports behind!

2011-05-16T02:47:00.000-07:00

I will try and get Gooner Simon to write up last Friday's match report but we are a couple of reports behind. The previous Friday we lost 6-1 when the opposition led by Gashead Simon and Danny (Liverpool FC) picked the teams. Simon has a blacklist of players he won't play with, although he might deny it. This selection policy led to a mismatch and Big Sam complained during the game that a lot of his colleagues could not trap a bag of cement. We could have got a few goals back if it was not for a couple of horrendous misses while Big Dave also missed a penalty when he hit the underside of the bar and the ball bounced out.

Spizz was again absent through injury but the star performer was probably Will, who combines pace with a willingness to make the right pass. He is not a regular player but obviously Gashead Simon had Will on his side.

Sorry about the delayed post!!

2011-05-05T09:17:00.001-07:00

The last game before the Good Friday and Royal Wedding breaks saw my team sliced
open by Alan Morg. while their defence was well-marshalled by Mick K. I did not really
get into the game but at least the kit is washed for tomorrow's turnout. Still missing
Spizz!!
We had Big Dave and Alex play well for us but it took us ages to get on the score sheet
and we eventually ran out 5-1 or 4-1 losers. I realise I should take notes.
Sorry to see Sheffield United relegated and our thoughts are with you, Andy, at this
time.

Are you Tony in disguise?

2011-04-07T09:19:00.000-07:00

I have omitted to write anything about the last three Friday night games, although I note that Paul posted something about the dreadful mismatch a few weeks ago which finished 9-2, (Yev doing most of the damage). Given that Gashead Simon has given me the mantle of Team Selector I take full responsibility, although rather like Tottenham in the Bernabeu on Tuesday everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong that week. I wish I’d been on a stag do in Madrid, let’s put it that way. The trauma rendered me wordless for three whole weeks. Sadly, the same cannot be said for ‘Arry Redknapp and his son Jamie, who opined after seeing his father’s team receive a thorough gubbing in Spain that he “knew his Dad fairly well”. I’m sure Mrs Redknapp is pleased to hear that.

The following Friday – I make that March 25^th – saw a seven goal thriller. Unbelievably, I scored the winner for the team in bibs. Asked to talk through the goal afterwards, I said

“I was too tired to run back when yet another failed attack broke down. Then the ball broke to me following a tackle in midfield. There was no-one within 20 foot of me and I kicked the ball past Ian”.

That week saw Ross bag a smart hat-trick, despite Dave A’s usual goalkeeping heroics. All other memories have fizzled away…

Last Friday’s game ended 5-3, if memory serves. Pick of the five goals was a beautiful finish from Mick, who ran across the edge of the D and stabbed the ball into the roof of the net with a nonchalant flick of his right boot. I was in goal at the time and had a wonderful view of the move. Yev, obviously, was also amongst the goals, the best of his haul being a rifled finish from an acute angle after some soft shoe shuffling out on the left.

Alan bagged one for the losing side, gleefully pouncing on a loose ball after I had palmed the ball away from goal. The major news after the game was that Gooner Ian has refused to play on the same side as Alex any more, following allegations that the midfield dynamo won’t pass to him. Ian was so incensed by the lack of service from the Stoke man that he unilaterally decided to play outside left, a role he took to with some aplomb, latching on to a loose through ball to side foot home a first time shot. The goal wasn’t enough to placate the Uxbridge-born man, however, and he remained officially Cheesed Off after the match.

Last Friday was the first game after the clocks went forward and to mark the occasion the boys spent the first hour or so drinking al fresco, before moving inside when the pub had cleared. No sign of Mick’s favourite barmaid this week, although Yev did consider making friends with a Dutch girl as the evening wore on. In other news, Alan, Ian and I discussed the prospects of a London team winning the European Cup for the first time, (a dream I’ve had on behalf of my beloved Arsenal since English teams were readmitted into Europe in 1991). The consensus seemed to be that Chelsea had a great chance – after this week they’ve certainly got a better chance than Arsenal or Tottenham.

Finally, I saw a photo of Croatian legend Robert Prosinecki today (see above). I thought it was eerily reminiscent of a temperamental film director who was playing football with us until fairly recently. I’ll let you be the judge.

I did not play last week cos the nipper was down from uni.

2011-03-29T10:02:00.000-07:00

I tried to get some reasonable conversation out of him but it was an uphill struggle. The previous week I spent most of a miserable time in goal where we got whacked 9-2 (I think). Yev and Alan Morg. cut us apart in defence, where since we did not track back we just did not have enough numbers. Big Dave was the incredible hulk/bulk in goal for them so for a long time we could not get on the score sheet. I thought Alex was bound to score one time but Big Dave pulled off a magnificent save. With Spizz being a long-term absentee and Mick K. resting, we did not have that cultured West Midlands play on the field. In addition, Gashead Simon was in Madrid on a stag-do, taking in the local derby. Amazingly Big Dave collected the money and we all paid up. I thought about asking for a discount since I spent so long in goal but I would have had to admit that being in goal was better than suffering triangular passing. I expect Gooner Simon will come up with his particular take on the game filling the blog with saucy pictures as well as giving a report on the post mortem in the pub. I think I am going to miss the next few Fridays so my limited fitness will go for a burton but at least I won't be in goal!!!

Two left feet

2011-03-16T13:27:00.000-07:00

Last Friday’s game saw Simon Gashead take a week’s sabbatical from the action, in part because he’d managed to bring two left boots to the game. Insert your own joke here.

With Simon suited and watching from the sidelines, there ensued a lively eight-a-side which finished 5-2 to the team in colours. The team in bibs comprised Boro Dave, Ross, Joe, and Keir (so no shortage of fire power), as well as myself, Danny, Ian West Brom and Simon the Drummer up against Yev, Sam, Dave A, Mick, Alex, Andy, Paul and Ian Gooner.

The team in colours raced into a two goal lead after goals from Sam and Yev, the first of which I should have saved, with the second being a fierce effort from the Ukrainian which flew into the top right hand corner. When the team in colours scored a third, again through Sam, it looked like turning into a rout but the side wearing bibs managed to get a couple of goals back through Boro Dave (a tidy finish) and the goal of the game from Keir – a trademark finish into the roof of the net from an acute and unlikely angle - before weary legs and wayward finishing allowed the bibs to extend their lead into an unassailable 5-2 advantage, with Yev eventually ending the match with a brace.

The general consensus seemed to be that the teams were reasonably fair, but perhaps not as much as has been the case in recent weeks. On reflection, the team in colours maybe had a bit too much in midfield, but there was plenty of action in and around the bibs’ penalty area. No matter.

Not too much to report in the pub this week, certainly not in the first hour and a half anyway. It would appear Jim’s recruitment and selection policy as it relates to employing barmaids hasn’t changed in 2011. Amen to that.

Taking the Mick

2011-03-08T01:48:00.000-08:00

Now then. There is a player amongst us called Mick Kavanagh. A very fine player, I’m sure we’ll all agree – great range of passing, tough tackling, box-to-box and possessed of a thunderous shot. It would appear I have been hiding Mick’s light under a Gary Bushell of late, with little mention of his goal scoring feats. No longer.

First of all, I erroneously omitted Mick from last week’s scoresheet. Mea culpa. Secondly, I am beginning this match report not by telling you the teams, or the final score, or even who scored the first goal, but who scored the crucial third. It was Mick. This goal was of such crucial importance it made Simon Gashead try and change the teams, such was the apparent dominance the side in which Mick (naturally) appeared. For the record, the goal itself was a rasping effort drilled hard and low into the bottom right hand corner after some pleasing interplay on the right between the Brummie banjo player and Alex from Stoke. As everyone ran back for the restart, Mr Kavanagh leaned in to my ear and uttered, sotto voce, ‘Put that in your blog’. And here it is.

By this stage Alex had already scored twice, both fine finishes after some good running through midfield, but Mick’s goal, or more probably Simon’s offer to reshape the sides, had a galvanising effect on the team in colours and they promptly pulled two back, both through Simon the Drummer, if memory serves. At that stage it looked as if we could be in for a comeback of Newcastle proportions, but a cataclysmic mix-up in the coloured team’s defence lead to someone (Alex?) having an open goal to roll the ball into. There was time for one more goal from the side in colours to leave a final score of 4-3.

The other major talking point was the gradual re-emergence of both Simon Gashead and Dave A from goal, like two shaggy behemoths emerging after a Winter spent in hibernation. Ian Gooner, somewhat unkindly, blamed Simon’s vacating of the penalty area on the team in bibs sudden shipping of two goals, although Simon was soon settled into his familiar left back berth. Dave A was uncharacteristically shot-shy, although the one effort I can recall cannoned into my midriff.

And so to the pub, although not for me as I endeavoured to shake off this infernal head cold which has been filling my sinuses for the past fortnight. Until Friday, I leave you with a tribute to Mick (see above), who has a certain familiar look to him.

The phantom hatchet man of Old Street

2011-03-01T04:09:00.000-08:00

Last Friday night’s action saw 8 play 7, with Geoff given the role of super sub, should it be required. Lining up for the team in bibs was Simon Gashead, still nursing a nasty bump on the ankle and therefore staying in goal, Steve A, Joe, my good self, Boro Dave, Ross and Ian West Brom. Up against them were Dave A, also still keeping goal due to injury, Paul, Yev, young Sam, Danny, Andy, Mick and Simon the Drummer.

It was a game with a number of interruptions; Yev left the field within the first five minutes to drop the kids off at the pool and Simon the Drummer blasted the white ball out of the ground and onto the roof of the portacabin directly behind the goal. But the most notable interruption was when Steve A injured his ankle after taking a trademark tilt at goal from near the halfway line. With no one within five yards of him he went down like a wounded moose, (making a similar noise). Following Simon Gashead’s mysterious ankle injury and my similarly bizarre toe knack it would appear that a malevolent spirit is haunting the five a side field, taking one of us out each week. What could be the cause of this footballing poltergeist? Is there some sort of jinn out to crock us all?

Whatever the truth, and it is out there, Steve’s injury ushered in the introduction of the mercurial Geoff. Except it didn’t, at least not for a couple of minutes, as in typically enigmatic fashion he vanished from view only to reappear just as suddenly. By this stage of the game the team in colours were two goals up, although I cannot quite recall the two scorers – I believe they were young Sam and Yev, who having lost a few pounds in the disabled toilet had something of a spring in his step.

Despite both sets of posts coming in for a real pounding the score remained 2-0, with Dave A in particular proving incredibly difficult to beat. One suggestion from Mick is that he plays in a kilt next week to even things up.

An extraordinarily busy night at the Old Fountain’s Head, to the extent that we spent around 30 minutes drinking outside – in February. An early night for all, bar Ross who was off to somewhere suitably rock ‘n roll in Bethnal Green. Get well soon, Steve.

Lively on the pitch, less so in the pub

2011-02-21T04:28:00.000-08:00

Another Friday, another game. Team line-ups had Dave A, Ross, Danny, Boro Dave, Simon Drummer and Andy versus Yev, Steve A, Simon Gashead, Paul, Mick, Matt and yours truly. It’s fair to say this was lively encounter between what turned out to be two very evenly matched sides.

Boro Dave opened the scoring when the team in colours were caught out playing far too high a line and a pass from deep found him totally unmarked. He rifled in to the bottom corner to leave Simon Gashead with no chance. Simon the drummer in the band made it two for the yellows when more sloppy defending allowed him to fire in virtually unopposed.

Proceedings then took on a more competitive tone when a series of decisions lead to raised voices between Boro Dave and assorted members of the team in colours; there was a hiatus of at least a minute while a lively debate about the precise spot a free kick should be taken rumbled on, while Gooner Ian was eventually penalised for a foul in the corner.

Perhaps galvanised by some of these decisions, (not least a very iffy handball given against me) Yev pulled one back with a Van Persie-esque finish from an acute angle that finally beat Dave A in goal, who’d been channelling Billy the Fish from Viz. More good work from Yev and Matt, who’d formed an excellent understanding, lead to the equaliser with Steve doing his bit for fraternal one-upmanship by steering the ball past his brother. And so ended the scoring and the game without further incident.

A quiet evening in the Old Fountain Head by recent standards, with little carousing on display, but rather a somewhat bourgeois discussion about north London schools followed by some discourse on the complicated make-up of modern cars.

No sign of Spizz.

Fizz, but no Spizz

2011-02-17T03:30:00.000-08:00

Apologies for the delay in this week’s match report. Blame a combination of an IT catastrophe at work and my father-in-law arriving for three nights, starting from Valentine’s Day, (how romantic).

Last week’s encounter looked for around twenty minutes as if it would finish goalless, a rare, nay unparalleled occurrence for a Friday night game. There was nothing to separate the two evenly matched teams – Ross, Alex, Sam, Simons Gooner and George, Paul (who defied medical advice to take part) and (Ringo) Geoff versus Yev, Keir, Danny, Steve A, Dave A and Ian - until Ross opened the scoring, prompting a visceral yell from Alex which pierced the February night air. Alex soon made it two with a calm pass into the net, with Geoff getting in on the act with a beautiful flick with his left foot which was reminiscent of Michael Thomas’s title winning goal at Anfield all those years ago.

Yev did score one, but could (should?) have had a couple more as the team in bibs eventually pulled away to run out 5-1 winners – a score which seemed very unlikely in the opening stages. Keir hit the metalwork with a trademark drive from wide right which sang off the crossbar, before Ross completed the scoring by running full tilt onto a delicious pass from Sam, just managing to make contact before the ball reached the area.

And so to the pub, where things started becoming distinctly messy after 9.30 when at least two rounds of whisky were complimented by a squadron of tequila slammers, salt and all. I left at 10.00ish before things deteriorated further. Paul left a few fizzy waters, which was eminently sensible.

Sad to say, there was no sign of Spizz.

I have put in an email from Sheffield Andy for a quick match report

2011-02-07T06:34:00.000-08:00

The Guvnor is taking advantage of a Sheffield Andy e-mail for an early match report.

"Yes I played on Friday. We should have won but it turned into a 3 all draw. Simon's decision to put Yev in defence for the first 15 mins kept our goal scoring abilities to a minimum. Spizz turned up to the pub wanting beer. He looked like Alvin Stardust in his pomp."

Gooner Simon will also provide a match report. But I sincerely hope that it is not the travelogue we got last time. For technical reasons the longer match report from the young Gooner (well he is younger than me!!)
comes before this particular blog.

Best regards, the Guvnor.PS> My link should really be Stratford Hotspur rather than Tottenham Hotspur!! Never mind come on you Spurs and who gives a monkeys for an Olympic legacy!!

Noms de football

2011-02-07T03:59:00.000-08:00

Excuse the poncy title for this blog – I am under instructions from Paul to keep you all as anonymous as possible, hence noms de football… think of them like noms de guerre but without the shooting, to misquote George Orwell.

So, last Friday’s game then. Simon I (that’s his second name initial – he isn’t King of anything, so far as I am aware) opened the scoring in a lively 3-3 draw. Simon I is the Simon who isn’t Simon Gashead, or me. What you might label a dirty finish, scuffing one into the bottom right corner, but they all count. Ian West Brom then entered the fray, making it seven aside. With Yev playing in an unaccustomed defensive role the team in colours continued to press for a second, with Alex and Will causing plenty of problems for the team in bibs. Following an excruciating bash on the toe I relieved Simon Gashead in goal and with a depressing predictability quickly saw the game turn on its head as Ross finished from close range to equalise, followed by a long range effort from Alan to make it 2-1.

Alex stroked in at the other end to make it two apiece, before the bibs went back into the lead. With time ticking away some elegant passing lead to Will side footing what proved to be the final goal in an absorbing contest to level the scores at 3-3. There was a suspicion of one of Will’s feet being just inside the area as that goal went in, but there was little (if any) protest from the bibs and the goal stood.

Joe then went down with a recurrence of an old ligament injury, but despite being a man short the team in bibs defended resolutely and the side in colours could not find a winner, even with Yev returning to his traditional berth up front. Honours even, which I think all would agree was a fair result on the balance of play.

And so to the pub, where the post match hoi polloi fell into two camps: those watching the egg chasing from Cardiff and those who were not. At around 9.00 pm none other than Spizz himself came in, sporting a biker’s jacket and a shock of very black hair. That, I think all would concur, is a confirmed sighting of the legendary post-punk figure.

Those girls from Birmingham, Alabama really sprinted out of the pub!!

2011-02-01T12:24:00.001-08:00

On Friday, all the qualities of the beautiful English game were on display,from the pretty grueseome performance on the pitch to the raucous post-match party, which took place in the Fountain. Obviously, we missed Spizz,
who always bring a bit of colour to events with his brightly coloured yellow hair.

So making fun in the Fountain is often a pretty low-key affair but last Friday I had a pretty hazy memory of Big Ian G. giving me a big bear hug welcoming back the Guvnor of old to
true form.

I have to admit it was pretty much my fault that the quiet post-match drinks turned into a complete drunken spree, and pretty whiskey filled at that!!! This was due to the extraodinary generosity of Mick K. and Yev, who kept the rounds coming even when the others had run out of money.

Sometimes, (birthdays and highdays), I buy a complete round of drams to celebrate. I am looking at 53. My hair is falling out and I can't run and hack that Keir down like I want to.
But I got some plaudits for my steady play last Friday. So I wanted to buy everybody drinks (I must be mad, the drugs of choice at the moment are sodium valporate and olanzapine). However, I had run out of money. Gashead Simon refused to give me a loan (is that a junk credit rating or what!!) and then run out of the pub. However, Mick K. and Yev stepped in and bought the drinks.

Then, suddenly Steve A. was doing full blast the "Ode to the Haggis" and then singing the "Flower of Scotland". What was more amazing was that the old sassenach Ian G. knew all the words.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/robertburns/works/address_to_a_haggis/

The other young people in the pub studiously ignored us, when we were standing up singing Scottish chants, songs and poems at top volume. Big Sam was putting in a heroic performance. He had played footie straight sfter arriving from New York and after spending a night at JFK. Big Sam was getting stuck into the drinks and so he is a true athlete in every way.

There were two girls sitting on their own next to our mob. So Yev put on
his "I LIKE GIRLZ AND I AM AN INVESTMENT BANKER" smile and charged in.
Mick K. (a bit diffidently), went up to
say hi.

The less pretty one was all smiles but soon the pretty one's face was registering shock and horror. The girls were U.S citizens, who came from Birmingham, Alabama.
Mick K. could not understand why they had'nt gone to see the Villa in the UK's second city but went to terrible places such as Brighton. (The Holte End is not the centre of the universe Mick!)

Anyway, our lads, being the gentlemen they are, politely withdrew. Soon afterwards the Birmingham, Alabama girls fairly sprinted out of the pub. They were so fast I thought about signing them for our team!!

You simply had to be there because it was a pure comedy moment. Steve A. and I just collapsed in giggles. I suddenly thought of all the boys in the team, who had missed it and somehow I thought of Shakespeare:

Be in their flowing cups freshly remember'd.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember'd;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,

Alright the pub was no way a battle scene but I quite like the words and here is a toast to "Sweet Home Alabama"!!!

Return to Action…Yev converts three out of six chances

2011-02-01T09:44:00.000-08:00

Firstly, I’d like to say what an incredible honour it is to be asked to write a Blog entry for the legendary Spizz Forever website. I can only hope to maintain the high standards set by the Guvnor over the years, although I won’t be following Joe’s example and heading into verse. The only poem I know starts ‘There was a young lady from Ealing’…

Last Friday marked my return to the Friday night football fray after a post-Christmas hiatus following my recent trip to the Antipodes see the Urn return home to England. And what had changed? Well, I was in a little worse shape than I thought, something only exacerbated by Joe giving me the fluorescent boobtube to wear. Dave A. was still crocked, but manfully deciding to forgo medical advice and play in goal. Anything else? Yes, dear reader: Boro Dave is back.

I was grateful for the high turn out as after a Christmas period spent eating mince pies and goose followed by three weeks of sun and beer I didn’t fancy running around too much. The fact there were 18 people on the pitch didn’t seem to hamper what I thought was a decent game, however. With Keir in his now customary spot opposite Alex in central midfield and the prodigal Smoggie on the opposing team to the key striker, Yev, both teams looked well balanced. A combination of typically resolute Aiton defending from Dave and Steve and a barnstorming display from Alex was enough to win the game for the team in colours, although had Boro Dave been back a few more weeks his finishing would have been more clinical. He’s looking good for the business end of the season.

The score was 2-1 to the team in colours up until the final few minutes when a Yev strike took a deflection and left yours truly wrong footed. New year, same poor goalkeeping from me.

And, at 3-1, that was that…

I’m intrigued to hear more about ‘Sweet Home Alabama’; when I left the Fountain’s Head Steve A was regaling the pub with his best Rabbie Burns rendition. In the words of David Coleman, what happened next?

PS: Spizz is still retired.

Three blogs to come about last night's extraordinary night!

2011-01-29T10:28:00.000-08:00

A match report from Gooner Simon, a critique of the losing team and "Sweet Home Alabama".
Missing poor old Spizz was still absent
but might come back according to rumours.

I missed a sitter last week!!

2011-01-25T08:57:00.000-08:00

Last week I missed a sitter, which could have earned us a creditable 5-5 draw. We had
eight versus seven. Their main defensive trio had a combined age of around 150 being challenged by three players totalling 99 years. I was a bit of the pace after a long
lay-off. Apparently, Spizz is still retired.

For us Alex led the play while Stevie A. and little Sam were the stars of the show for them. Gashead Simon tried to rate himself at six and then give six-a-half for Stevie A, who scored two goals. Unfortunately, I was in goal for three of their goals.

I can't remembering Alex and Ross doing their stint in goal but I could be corrected on this. For them Big Dave A. had a sore ankle and a new player Matt, who was later injured, shared the goalkeeping duties. I thought Big Ian was quite good in midfield
for them while Boro Dave did some mazy dribbles and flicks as well as scoring a neat
goal.

I am going to have to work on my fitness and wear something bright orange so that the boys can see me in terms of passing to me. Even though we had the extra man, Big Dave said in the pub that we were pretty disorganised.

I have been hit by injury!!

2011-01-19T07:11:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the lack of blogs but I have been hit by injury!!
Gashead Simon is also a bit like Bill Shankley, who famously never
talked to injured players. So I am not getting any TLC from the
manager.

So I have missed Spizz for the year
so far. I have especially missed his insight into the trials and tribulations of Aston Villa. That is not exactly true because he is a Villa fan through and
through whatever cruel fate throws at the club. It will be interesting
to see if Darren Bent is the answer to the problem.

Can't play tonight due to looking after dog!!

2010-12-10T09:54:00.000-08:00

Dear Readers, unfortunately I can't play tonight because I am looking after my parents'dog. They are in the non-PC location of northern Cyprus and quite like it since they have been before. It is a real shame because my fitness levels are not too bad at the moment.

Spizz is not answering my e-mails at the moment but I hope he comes next week so that we can discuss the decline and fall of Aston Villa.

Some of the lads want to go for an Xmas curry but I want a cheap evening out, which is basically a few bits of pizza in the house pub. I am currently trying to get a "conversation" going with a few of the players on the old e-mail. I am presently slagging off Wenger for not picking English players. This has riled the Gooner fans!

I am taking a late fitness test for this Friday.

2010-11-30T01:07:00.000-08:00

Dear Readers, I am taking a late fitness test for this Friday. I will be a bit rusty
after a three week break but I am raring to go. The Spizz gig is this Thursday but I might be unable to go due to family commitments. We have to wait and see. I feel for Spizz after his team Aston Villa got squashed by Arsenal at the weekend. Apparently, Villa are interested in a £6m Robbie Keane, which shows they must be desperate.

A few weeks ago big Ian G. organised a brilliant competition to mark the nuptials of Big Sam, who brought one of his brothers along to play and his Dad, who smashed my record of being the oldest geezer on the pitch being north of 70. Chatting to Sam's Dad in the pub afterwards, I might have committed a faux pas by asking why he did not support Crystal Palace rather than Millwall given his Peckham birthplace. This probably showed my complete ignorance!!

Anyway the competition was played in great spirit and my team was a bit unlucky given Joe had a Robert Green between the posts and we could not quite hit the target in front of goal despite the pace of Yev and Steve A. Big Dave was immense as usual in defence but I felt I was letting the side down a bit by being really slow. But at least we can aspire to win the cup next time.

We are going to have to arrange Spizz testimonial!!

2010-11-18T12:26:00.000-08:00

I expect we are going to have to arrange a testimonial to mark the retirement from
footie by punk star Spizz after his Dublin Castle gig, which is on Thursday, December 2nd. Sorry I have been a bit lacklustre in terms of putting out the blogs. I have got a couple of games to catch up on such as the cup competition marking the wedding of Big Sam. Suffice to say the team I played for came last in the group stage despite being strong on paper.
That was followed by a depressing 6-3 loss and an unbelievable argument about the penalty that never was.
Last week I missed because of failing a late fitness test and this is likely to be the case for tomorrow and next week. So lads, start sending in those match reports!!
PS>
The Dublin Castle is in Camden, 94 Parkway, London, NW1.

For the match report young Joe has done a poem!

2010-10-28T01:03:00.000-07:00

An early conceit started with a lack of retreat,
Some said one side was too strong, but that denies we went wrong,
With a wedding in sight, Sam had to be right,
Alex and he scrapped in the floodlit Shoreditch night,
I could feel the shame, three goals down in one game,
It gave me a chill to say we lost three nil.

I am still shocked about the Spizz retirement. I am going to try and talk him out of
it. I still play despite having a pin in my leg and none of my colleagues passing to
me. Maybe we should try and arrange a testimonial game.

Spizz stuns footballing world with shock announcement!

2010-10-26T07:37:00.001-07:00

Spizz Energi frontman Spizz has stunned the footballing world with the shock announcement that he is retiring and he holding a "wake" in Bishopsgate to celebrate
the event. "I can't quite believe it, it is the end of an era, if it is true" said
an unnamed source. "I knew he was suffering from injury problems but I did not think
that they were that bad."

Spizz's footballing style was/is characterised by above-average shooting skills, a nice turn of pace (for his age!) combined with an unwillingness to track back or go
in goal unless he absolutely had to.

"I hope he is not completely lost to the world of football. Spizz could get his coaching
badge or qualify as a ref" commented the unnamed source.

And a big thank you to all our readers - part two

2010-10-25T08:01:00.000-07:00

Alan Morg. is knocked out at the worldwide following of the blog. Here are the page views by country for the period May to October 2010.
USA - 135
UK - 133
Russia -50
Canada - 25
Spain - 20
Japan - 20
France - 15
Malta - 12
Indonesia - 10
and South Korea with 8.
Last week's match report will be brought to you by Joe, who also stepped up to the plate and picked the sides. The game saw a guest appearance by John P., who relocated to Barcelona a few years back. It was great to see him eating up those yards on the pitch.
In the pub afterwards I had to commiserate with Danny, who went for it a bit with
an attempt at a long-raking pass. Unfortunately, this became a spooned-up effort infringing our over-head-height rules. But it was at least worth a go.
We are still missing Spizz, struck down by cruel injury. Hopefully, he is going to turn up this Friday for Big Sam's
bash.
As for Man Utd keeping Rooney rather than selling him, that probably will be the outcome after Fergie retires.

And a big thank you to all our readers!!

2010-10-21T07:53:00.000-07:00

During the month there have been 68 page views from the United Kingdom, 49 from Russia, 30 from United States and 19 each from Canada and Japan. Other countries also
make it on the list. So a big thank you to all our readers!! Let's hope that Spizz recovers from injury soon so as to lead the attack.

I think I am available for selection this Friday. I am feeling the knees a bit with the change of weather. It has become quite wintry and I think it could be tracksuit bottom weather tomorrow.

My view on the Wayne Rooney affair is that he will probably go to Chelsea in the January transfer window. Real Madrid would wait until summer for a cheaper buy while I don't think Fergie's Man Utd can take the risk of selling him to Man City, since Mancini's team would probably run away with the league. I saw Real Madrid destroy Malaga on Sky during the weekend with Ronaldo and Higuain looking unstoppable and maybe Mourinho will decide that he does not need Rooney. However, the Spanish team has got players such as Benzema to offload in any part-exchange deal.

I was blown away by Gareth Bale's wonder hat trick against Inter Milan last night. But it looks like that Spurs will have to invest in a new defence and a couple of midfield holding players. Poor old Crouchie is not very good in the air. I read in the papers that his personal entourage numbers seven strong. Hopefully, they can teach him to time a jump and head the ball in the net.

Last Friday saw a pulsating 3-2 victory for us!!

2010-10-18T04:57:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago Joe scored a nice couple of goals and was crestfallen that I had not
given them the true attention they deserved. Especially, as he showed the blog to his
girlfriend on some Greek island. However, Alan Morg. was delighted that his name was up in lights, so you can't get every report right.
Last Friday saw a pulsating 3-2 victory for us with Big Dave and Mick K. having very
solid performances. Tone opened the scoring for them when we backed off a bit. Steve A. got a nice equaliser past a despairing dive from Gashead in goal. We managed to
sneak a 2-1 lead with Yev but then Alan Morg. shot through a knot of players after a free kick to make it even. We finally came up ahead with a Steve A. winner after a good dummy from Joe I think.
Spizz was again absent and we are missing him dreadfully!! I played a so-so game down the right but it was nice to be on the winning side for once. Their best player was Alex, who was tireless in midfield.
On a sentimental note we are organising a few beers and sandwiches for Big Sam before he gets married. We are a bit alarmed he is going to spend the night the ceremony before at Ian G.'s place.

Last week saw a 5-2 result!!

2010-10-14T06:25:00.000-07:00

Last week saw a 5-2 result although Gashead Simon apparently got a good goal for the losing side. Apparently I have been selected for tomorrow's game although my fitness is nothing to shout home about.
I could'nt go to the Spizz gig last Friday but I hope it went well.

As for England v Montenegro we needed a bit more guile while Gerrard and Rooney were playing too far back. Hopefully, we will still qualify!!

Alan Morg. hits stunning hat trick!!

2010-10-04T06:56:00.000-07:00

Chelsea supporter Alan Morg. hit a stunning hat trick in last Friday's three-three draw. Spizz was again absent with hamstring and knee problems and his earliest medical appointment is October 12th. The game was a crowded eight versus eight and our three goals were scored by Steve A. from the penalty spot, followed by a rare goal from Danny the Diplomat and a good effort from
Ross. Gashead Simon noted that we have registered two draws following his selection of the teams.

We perhaps should have won but Big Dave and Gashead were defiant in defence.

I have been told to stop moaning!!

2010-09-27T07:37:00.000-07:00

Avid readers of my blog have told me to stop moaning. I go on too much about lack of passes etc and so I will try and be more positive today. Last Friday Spizz was missing my tentative return from my last operation. The game was a pulsating 2-2 draw with Joe getting two goals for them while ours were scored by a young guest player, who played too high up the pitch for Ian G.'s liking. We had good performances from Tone and Alan Morg., who both rattled the steelwork with long-range shots while the young and old Sams produced as well.

For them Big Dave kept it tight at the back and Mick K. was good in midfield. Sheffield Andy, who said afterwards they were the moral victors, did quite well. Liverpool Danny (aka the Diplomat) had to take some stick about his team before the game but made some key saves and was unlucky not to get on the score sheet. Simon Ink. has been playing more regularly and this has benefitted his performance.

I had to face a reality check last Friday!!

2010-08-29T12:45:00.000-07:00

Spizz was injured with a hamstring problem and was unable to come on to the pitch last Friday to match up an incredible ten versus eleven. This was a Bank Holiday weekend!! Have'nt these 7.45pmers guys got better things to do? I can understand eight versus eight but ten versus eleven. Yours truly was one of the valiant ten and we had rush keeper but it was a bit hectic. I did not realise (until Spizz explained it to me) that the opponents were wearing bright orange coloured bibs or wore some kind of red. This was VERY CONFUSING.

So out of the 7pmers it was just me and Big Ian and we were playing against each other. Ian curled in a nice goal while I had to face a reality check since passing game was not really up to scratch. However, I did get a few interceptions in. This is despite the fact my supporters know that I favour the "Bobby Charlton" style tackle.

We lost 10-3 and I did three stints in goal and did not really cotton onto the fact
that we could play rush. It was claimed that I gave away a penalty but it was not
awarded. When not in goal I stayed mostly in defence. Quite a few of our team seemed to have positional problems to put it mildly although our star player was Cliff. In addition, Tom was a very strong player but suffered from an inability to pass, which was sarcastically commented on by his fellow player Steve.

Unfortunately, I will miss next week's start of the new season for the 7pmers, who will have to get use to the fact that the beer garden of their local has been sold off and is just a hole in the ground prior to some foundations being put in.
Spizz will also be absent since he is got some promotion in Milan. He explained it to me last Friday but I did not really understand what it was about.

To continue my pre-season training I might sneak another game.

2010-08-26T07:55:00.000-07:00

This Friday to continue my pre-season training I might sneak another game with
the 7.45pmers organised by Cliff and Kevin. This is despite the fact that Cliff warned some players would come back. However, I know Mick K. and Geoff are away for the weekend, which would leave space for me and for Spizz.Last week the indie star was unavailable for selection after a series of injuries incurred during his Tuesday game. This included a hamstring strain, which might take time to heal. These are really annoying injuries when you get older.

We don't help ourselves with few players doing a proper work-out before the game. I just run around a bit and kick the ball hopefully. I get a feeling that this Friday will not repeat the previous week's solid performance, which included a goal from a
single shot at goal.

I have talked to Gashead Simon this afternoon and he was a bit gloomy about his beloved Bristol Rovers. The young man was on altitude training in Austria to prepare for the new season and also made a visit to Trieste, which is now in Italy but was part of the Austro-Hungarian empire
and a city I would love to visit. I hope Gashead Simon has not picked up the dark arts of Italian defending as performed by Big Dave A.

Pre-season training with Cliff's game was a great success!!

2010-08-21T01:23:00.000-07:00

Dear Reader, I joined the 7.45 game last night to get some important pre-season training. This game is organised by the brothers Cliff and Kevin, although last night Kev was not there. They support West Ham and Arsenal
respectively so they both have a cross to bear. Cliff picked the sides, which were quite well balanced, and did a long stint in goal. He was a cut above some of the players with his ball skills.

During our summer break, Spizz, Geoff, Big Dave.A and Mick K. have been keeping their football skills honed by playing the 7.45pm game. Spizz could not make it last night
but Dave and Mick warned me that the guys played a higher standard than the 7pm organised by Gashead Simon, which can be, I regret to say, a bit of a shambles.

Dave and Mick were right on the money!! Both line-ups played one-touch football at a fast and furious pace. There was tracking back and marking, which are virtually absent in the 7pm game. It is often true that you play better when you have better-quality players around you. Geoff was a lot more effective last night while yours truly ploughed a channel down the right as usual. What was most unusual was that I got on the score sheet when I passed the ball into the net with my left foot from a quickly taken free kick. I did not got much of a celebration from my team so I gave Mick K. a hug to express my emotion. This was even though he was on the opposite
side and it was possibly his mistake in not picking me up. Mick K. looked pretty perplexed.

The 7pmers did perform well last night. The four of us contributed four goals to a 5-3 thriller in a game, which was eight-a-side and which had limited space. Dave A. got a sweet goal to wrap up the match for them while Mick A. scored two goals, one a "David Villa" effort, which hits both posts and then goes in.
I was the goalie and I could not get near the shot, which was slightly deflected.
In the changing rooms afterwards, Mick K. said he remembered the assists more rather than the goals!! Mick K. was man of the match.

Dave A. was playing through the pain barrier but still managed to hit the steelwork twice before scoring his neat goal. In football terms his first love is Scottish club
Ayr United www.ayrunitedfc.co.uk Dave's English Club is Man Utd.

Football makes me laugh!! Fergies buys player unseen.

2010-08-18T06:53:00.000-07:00

You just have to laugh at our national game. Man Utd manager Sir Alex Ferguson buys a player he has never seen before on the say-so of friend and former colleague Carlos Queiroz. Then,
Fergie makes a general criticism on how transfer deals are so out of touch with
reality.

I know Stephen Ireland is an above-average midfield player and he is moving from Man City to Aston Villa but I don't really understand why Ireland is trousering £1.5m plus. (I suppose it is the old sign-up fee?) Man City has just gone plain loco shipping out Ireland and Craig Bellamy then getting Mario Balotelli and James Milner in return. I have seen some highlights of Balotelli and he does look an exceptional talent but the trouble with the Premier League is that all the games are competitive unlike Serie A, when there are easy clubs to play and where games in Italy are occasionally fixed. (Look at Wikipedia under Italian football corruption).
Hands up if you think James Milner is worth £27.5m.

At Manchester City, there seems to be an absolute whirlwind of deals, which must make the mouths of player agents drool. Besides Ireland, Craig Bellamy is going to Cardiff FC on a season-long where the Mancunian club is picking up half of the wages (sheer insanity!!).
Gawd knows where Robinho will go. Roque Santa Cruz (Rock Holy Cross?) is also on the way out.
Bellamy might be difficult (apparently Mancini has not spoken to him since February. But as far as the Premier League games are concerned, Bellamy would be in my team every time. I also remember when Robinho ripped apart Everton at the fortress (?) of Goodison Park.
You don't get into a Brazilian World Cup team if you are not a good player.

All of these crazy transfer fees are not going to change the expected outcome of the Premiership this season, which is a two horse race between holders Chelsea and runners-up
Man Utd. I think Chelsea has the better tactical manager in Carlo Ancelotti, who is very tough and disciplined. He seems to have made it clear to the players that when they are on the club's time then high standards of discipline are required.
However, their private lives are their own. Looking back Ancelotti gave a lot of support to John Terry (JT) with the scandal of the French bint saying basically "Private lives".

The Blues have even enlisted the help of Dolce & Gabbana. Ancelotti worked with the Italian fashion designer group when he was at AC Milan. The Italian manager said in an interview with the Times magazine last Saturday (highlighting the new Dolce & Gabanna range for the West London team) that it was important to show a disciplined, uniformed approach especially when the club travel.
I must admit even the Drog and Lamps looked pretty good in the suits. Getting rid of Joe Cole, who has got himself sent off and missed a penalty at Liverpool, looks a stroke of genius by Anclelotti.

On the Spizzenergi front, I will be having a hospital procedure on the first day of the new season on September 3rd. It will probably take me three weeks to recover. Hopefully,
Bristol Rovers (the Gas!) will have won some games by then. Otherwise, Gashead Simon will need
some TLC. My goals this season are to score more goals (if the b*st**ds pass to me!!) and to get a discount on the match fee to reflect all of my ailments. One of them is my vet status at being 52 and a quarter years old.

I am cracking under the strain of no footie!! (part two)

2010-08-13T06:58:00.000-07:00

Dear Reader,
I thought I would be gracing the six-a-side astro pitch tonight with the guys,
who play after our slot at 7.45. However, disaster has struck. I had to powder my nose last night during the night and somehow stubbed my toe. It is not too bad but if someone steppted on it in the game I probably would be crying like a baby.

On a more serious note I will be counselling to Gashead Simon with his beloved team losing eight games on the trot if you include the last games of the last season. The 6-1 rollover to Oxford was diabolical. The expert summariser
on the BBC TV channel said the Gas's defence was all over the place.

My aims for the forthcoming season is to get more players doing their shift in goal and for Spizz to pass more rather than doing angled shots, which get you nowwhere!! Most goals come from shots made from the centre. If these aims are not fulfilled I will be giving a reduced match
fee to Gashead Simon.

I am cracking under the strain of not playing footie!!

2010-08-09T08:47:00.000-07:00

Dear Reader, I am sorry to report that I am cracking up under the strain of not playing footie on a Friday night. I have even sent a despairing email to Spizz asking if they need players this Friday. This is for the game, which normally follows us when we are not having our mid-summer break.
A couple of years ago I made myself available to their skipper and it was pretty embarrassing when he said they did not need anybody.

Is Milner really worth £30m and commisserations dear Spizz and Mick K. over the departure of
O'Neill. Perhaps his days were numbered when he invested in Heskey. Maybe, Aston Villa should start rebuilding again but I suppose it is no fun running a selling club.

I have just got back from hols in Spain!

2010-07-23T05:30:00.000-07:00

Dear Reader, the English team has a lot to do in order to reach the standards of the
Dutch, German and Spanish teams. Perhaps the best we can hope for is the Spanish team to break up with the nationalist pressures of the Catalan and the Basque regions. A former FC Barcelona president, Joan Laporta, has called for independence of Catalonia, the region provided quite a few players to Spain's winning team. However, I am sure that Brazil would not mess up with the next World Cup being on its home soil.

The actual World Cup final was a bit of a disappointment but at least the team playing the football won the game. In the first half I was kept on being asked why the English ref was not sending off Dutch players and I said he was trying to keep them on the pitch so as to avoid the game descending into farce.

Coming back to Blighty was a bit of a bore in football terms with no Spizz to track
during the summer break and with West Ham trying to put more money into the hands of
the agents.

The last game of the season saw a fiesta of football!!

2010-06-29T07:36:00.000-07:00

Last Friday was our last game of the season before the summer break. We reconvene in September. It was a fiesta of football with a staggering 10 versus 9. I was making up the ten and we won 5-2. I can't remember our goals since I was playing so deep and the scoring was so up the pitch that I could not see. But I did think that Gooner Simon was unlucky a couple of times for them in goal. He let one through his legs.

Big Goughie picked the sides and so on a rare occasion Spizz was selected to play with Gashead Simon.
The Bristol Rovers supporter, it can be said, is not a fan of Spizz's direct style of play, which can see little in the way of tracking back or in passing. We had key players in Tone, Stevie A, Big Sam and Alan Morg. Their defence was marshalled by Big Dave and Mick K., who both coincidentally got on the score sheet. The latter with a stroked shot from a tapped free kick. The former scored with a penalty when I did a misplaced pass across the goal to Stevie A., who trapped the ball in the penalty area.

The only negative was quite a few players on both sides did not do their stint in goal. This is a recurring problem that Gashead Simon seems unable to sort out so perhaps it is something we can resolve next season. I quite like a stint in goal since I often need a breather.

I got caught in possession and we lost!!

2010-06-21T03:11:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, I got caught in possession by Joe and we went down to a golden goal losing
3-2. We wanted an early finish so as to watch more of the England v Algeria game but decided the game should have a winning side rather than finishing at a lame 2-2.

We had started strongly with Will scoring from my pass off the back wall. Then, somehow the ball went straight to Ross from their defence, who planted the ball in the net. We were cruising at 2-0 and then we got pegged back to 2-2 with one scored by Alan Morg. The equaliser saw a cruel bounce get past Baggies Ian in goal. I think they deserved the win since they hit the post as well.

Our defence was marshalled by Mick K. and theirs was led by Big Dave. It was eight-a-side so not too much time on the ball. I was suffering a bit with a bad knee and perhaps I should have done an extra stint in goal. Spizz played quite well for them. Our best players were Mick K. and Will, who was a handful on the right wing. The opposition was quite fluid in attack with Stevie A., Alan Morg and Spizz interchanging quite well and we were not so good at tracking back.

The England v Algeria game was a bit of a disaster but we still had to beat Slovenia to qualify. They look a tidy, neat team and we need to get our midfield working a bit better.
The newspapers today are reporting on a one-man mutiny by JT but it is obvious that Joe Cole is going to have to play. His Old Trafford flick sealed the League for Chelsea. It is no use the fans complaining about the players' wages especially when they should be having their summer break after a tough season. If New Zealand can hold Italy to a draw, then there are no
easy games. France has imploded and the Germans don't look invincible. Spain has a must-win game tonight. At least, the Argies and Brazilians look like they can play football.

Last Friday saw a homage to the black arts of defending!!

2010-06-14T04:35:00.000-07:00

I am afraid to say that last Friday saw some blatant time wasting by Tone and Spizz in goal!! We were 3-1 up and playing into the sun. There was no excuse for the dark arts of defending. Maybe we should start giving penalties against the goalie? For them, Alan Morg. hit the post twice with consecutive shots while Dave A. blasted against the post with one of his howitzers. We were on the ropes but that does not condone time wasting.

During the first half we raced to a 3-0 lead with some crisp passing and goals from Spizz, Tone and Baggies Ian. Despite some strong play by Alan Morg. Dave A. Geoff and Big Sam the opposition were unable to score during the first half. Spizz could have wrapped up the game at 4-0 but somehow chipped onto the bar. With our switch into the sun somehow our goal threat fizzled out. Tone spent more time in goal due to a slight injury problem. After I lost the ball Big Goughie slotted the ball for them from a pretty central position. Then, came the shameful time wasting.

The teams were six-a-side with me, Gashead Simon, Baggies Ian, Danny, Tone and Spizz. We could have easily lost to Big Dave, Big Sam, Alan Morg. Gooner Simon, Geoff and Goughie, who just kept hitting the post. Unfortunately, Blades Andy and Mick K. could not make it at the last moment.

This Friday the plan is to start at 6.45 so we can get in a bit of the England v Algeria game. It was a pretty terrible start against the USA with all the obvious problems rearing their ugly head. On the plus side I thought Stevie G, Lennon and Johnson did really well. It was a shame that Heskey did not take his gold-plated chance but that is the reason he does not make the Aston Villa first team. The mistake by Green was just one of those things. At least we did not lose. I remember Ray Clemence doing something similar at Spurs against one of the big Spanish teams (Barca or Real Madrid) and there was no coming back.

Sorry about the hiatus in the blogs!!

2010-06-08T06:39:00.000-07:00

Sorry about the hiatus in the blogs but I have had to take a bit of a break due to health reasons. However, I might be back this Friday although my fitness levels are pretty low.

Here is a recent report from Stevie A.
"The sides were picked by Blades Andy and he selected well with Gough, Will, Geoff,
Alex and me on his side. We kept it tight and Alex was a handful. He scored the first and I addes the second. Joe responded with a lovely placed goal but this was short-lived when Simon scored an own goal. We held on despite a second from Joe to
make it 3-2."

Sorry, that the great man Spizz did not make it into the report. However, I think he has had a good season overall. Soon, we will be coming to our summer break.

I am putting Geoff up to a category B player!

2010-05-11T07:49:00.000-07:00

Sheffield Andy remonstrated with me recently that Geoff was not as bad as I made out
and so I have upgraded him to a Category B player. Gashead Simon said the classification was a way perhaps of criticising players. That was not my intention. The aim was to avoid unfair teams being picked. The worst player on the pitch is me because of my lack of pace, the pin in my leg and the fact that I have to wear glasses. I still want a match discount!!

The last game I played in saw a recovery from 4-0 down with Alex scoring a fine
hattrick to get us back into it. Spizz was on our side but did not get a sniff in front of goal. Gashead complained latter that Mick K. often passed to Spizz when he in fact was the better opportunity. I thought the problem was that Spizz often got into space for a nice easy ball while Gashead was hemmed in by the corner but that is only my opinion.

I have been out of the game for a bit due to medical reasons. There has been a dearth of data on how the games turned out but I should get some info soon.

Last Friday saw a tight 2-1 game!!

2010-04-20T02:06:00.000-07:00

The sides were not evenly matched for the first period with my side having seven against Gashead's six. During this passage of play we accumulated two straightforward goals through Alex and Alan Morg. The spine of the side was quite strong with Big Dave sweeping at the back. Gashead's team had players such as Spizz, Mick K. and Big Sam. Then there was a parity of team players when Adam came on. We then had to strongly defend our two goal advantage, which was reduced when Big Sam calmly slotted home.
To run down the clock Danny the Diplomat hit the ball over the fence while Big Dave marshalled our defence. We rode our luck when Gashead's team hit the post three times including a shot from Simon Gooner.

This is Mick K., take on his hattrick last Friday!!

2010-04-14T04:44:00.000-07:00

"The first supplied by Evginy - we counter-attacked leaving a two on one - generously squared to demand a composed slot home. The second an exquisite ball from Tone - who held the ball up until I began a ghosted run from the right behind Gashead and co - to recent a "hot knife thru butter" pass from slightly left to feet around the pen spot - when I reversed the ball direction the goal into the left hand corner of the net with a softly weighted instep. The third - on the counter again, the ball wasl played along right which I received around half way line - remaining defence slow to move over as I advanced - drilled a low ball past keeper's feet just as a late forlorn challenge came in to knock me over - but by then the ball was gone! Good gig, wasn't it?"

Mick K.'s team ran out 5-1 winners despite a team change. I saw him at the Spizz gig and he was cock-ha-hoop about the hattrick. However, he could not understand why he did not get to keep the
match ball.

My cousin Al and I really enjoyed the gig at the King's Cross Scala. There was an eclectic audience although quite a few people wore glasses. I thought the Tracy Hunter Band were quite tuneful. We only caught a few songs of the Glitter band but
sandwhiched in between was the great man himself. Seeing Spizz live I get the impression he would be in the entertainment business whatever the decade. He is a real music hall performer!! We got to hear the Spizz classics and he even waved to me and
Mick K. in the audience.

This might sound mad but I am going to compare Spizz with Robert Plant

2010-04-04T13:49:00.000-07:00

Dear Reader, you might think it preposterous but I am going to try and compare the
punk legend Spizz with the rock legend Robert Plant. They are both iconic figures brought up in the West Midlands area (does Worecestershire count?) and they both support local football teams. However, Spizz has had the good fortune to start supporting Aston Villa, which is the premier side in Birmingham and surrounding areas, while Plant
backs Wolverhampton Wanderers. This club is famous for its old gold shirts and where Mick McCarthy is making a pretty determined effort to keep them in the
Premier League.

Although there are major differences such as Spizz is not as tall as Plant and their
remuneration from the rock'n'roll business have been different ends of the scale,
I bet you they could each belt out a great version of "Tutti Frutti" if you asked
them to.

Could you compare "Where's Captain Kirk" with "Rock n' Roll" or "Kashmir"? Perhaps not and especially not with Plant's later stuff such as on the "Mighty Rearranger", which is brilliant. However, having been lucky enough to see Spizzenergi and Led Zeppelin, their lead vocalists both have the amazing talent of somehow taking you back in time but still sounding relevant. Spizz can still convince you that he is a punk star despite being a bit podgy. I remember Plant singing a verse from
"Are you going to San Francisco" in the middle of "Dazed and Confused" and thinking golly he was there.
Well, Spizzenergi is going to play at the Scala in London's Kings Cross on April 9th
and tickets can be obtained from outlets such as www.ticketweb.com

Unfortunately, the next bit of the blog is crass commercialism and a crude attempt to
crank up the hits. This is my unofficial review of half of the unofficial recording of "Bonzo's Birthday Party". When I heard it I thought the Led Zep gig in question was the Alexandra Palace concerts in North London, which took place in December 1972.
Now, through the Internet, I know the gig was held on May 31st, 1973 at the Inglewood Forum in southern California, United States.

I just borrowed the half, which included C and D sides, from a mate, whose brother and a friend had bought the unofficial recording at university. They decided to split up the two vinyl records. I just had "Heartbreaker, Whole Lotta Love" followed by "No Quarter",
an advert for Californian Prunes, and an encore of "The Ocean", where Plant refers back to Jimmy playing with his hand in a bowl of water to keep the swelling down
in that part of Heartbreaker. This song misses out the Jethro Tull bit and segues
into "Whole Lotta Love" after some particular loud drumming by Bonham.
The unofficial recording is taken in the crowd and the US punters don't really get the Monty Python references of Plant in his stage patter. However, the music is amazing. Even the "Crunge" works during "Whole Lotta Love" and "Boogie Mama" is great.
Even the advert for Californian Prunes is great "Still there was something about which I liked and our hearts began to sing Prunes from California!!!"

Therefore, I had great expectations when I went to see Led Zep at London's Earls Court in May 1975. Somehow, I had seen Deep Purple in Paris just before the Led Zeppelin gig
with David Coverdale singing really well. Deep Purple were a band, who could really whip up a storm.

Led Zep played for three hours and twenty minutes and there were some pretty long solos (don't like to say this, but pretty boring) with "No Quarter" and John Paul Jones, with "Moby Dick" and John Henry Bonham and with "Dazed and Confused" and Jimmy Page. Yet, I can still vividly remember every minute of the concert while Bepop Deluxe, who I saw in the Wolverhampton Civic, were brilliant but I can hardly remember the concert in detail
at all.

Led Zep came on early so loads of fans missed "Rock'n'Roll" and then we heard more of
"Houses of Holy" rather than "Physical Grafitti" than I would have liked. The fans all knew that "Kashmir" was a really great song but to last so long and for it to be
used so often on the telly is quite ironic given that Led Zeppelin did not want to be
be a "pop band". We also did not realise that Earls Court would be the last London concerts until the O2 gig. That night nearly 35 years ago stays especially in the memory for me the incredible encores of "Whole Lotta Love" (shortened version) and "Black Dog".

Was Led Zeppelin, Earls Court, May 1975 the best concert I ever saw? Maybe that is a question for another post!!

Redacted letter to one of the "kick me upstairs" gang!!

2010-04-01T10:12:00.000-07:00

What follows ia a redacted letter to one of the guys, who is part of the "kick me upstairs" gang.

Dear *******,
I remember watching games where my ******* when he was playing for QPR youth team
and I did not remember El Tel and George Graham wearing sheepskins. However, I am quite happy to borrow the sheepskin coat but will it fit? I refer to this in my two part blog for the latest match result and with details of the Spizzenergi concert
at the Scala in Kings Cross on April 9th. [There is a plot trying to push me upstairs into a managerial role). Youth team football was a quite heartbreaking environment. The coaches would not hesitate in yanking kids off before half-time in they were not playing well (probably destroying their careers and at least
denting their confidence).

As for Italian defending I once saw AC Milan play Chelsea at the Bridge and saw the great Maldini and Costacurta go through their repertoire of flicks, amazing passes as well as nudges and sly fouls. While at the same time they made sure that their hair was not a strand out of place because of they were concerned about their modelling
commitments. I saw the unbelievable thing of Maldini doing a brilliant curved pass down the touchline on his wrong foot despite the fact that he always passed the ball with his left foot. Or was it the other way round?

Big Dave can do the same repertoire of nudges and pushes. He can also simply
ploughs through you lie he did last night. You must put your hand up for a foul. We are not the Corinthians! I still can't understand how Big Dave claimed he was going for the ball when he took away my standing leg and landed in a heap on the
pitch. This was not very elegant.

As for me picking the teams players the guys would have to endure a rant about people not doing their shift in goal. Then, I would remind certain people that football can be a simple passing game. Deep down I am pretty unsympathetic about players, who are unable to make the straightforward pass to the nearest, unmarked guy. I know it is difficult for Gashead Simon not to pass to Tone, since they were at school together but when Tone is surrounded by two or three players. That is probably the real reason why Gashead Simon is a B lister rather than
an A.

Look at Man Utd, they are just getting the ball to the wing with Valencia and Nani, the cross comes over and there are Rooney, Berbatov, Fletcher and Park at the business end of it. You can fall asleep watching the intricate play of Arsenal, an Arsene Wenger strategy of "how not to win the Premier League and the European Champions League". This is despite always playing with eleven players, who are supremely confident on the
ball.

The only time I have been to the Emirates was when Arsenal outplayed West Ham but the Hammers went away with a one-nil victory. This was courtesy of Zamora getting onto the end of a long ball while Tevez played an amazing one man attacking show taking up four defenders in the second half.

Your affectionate *******

PS. This redacted letter was written after the Euro games on Tuesday and Wednesday. Man Utd still have a chance despite Rooney being injured but I fear Arsenal are going out. This is despite a massive comeback after being played off the
park for the first hour.

First of two part blog:Spizz picks the teams on Friday night

2010-03-27T02:45:00.000-07:00

Punk star Spizz, who has promised me a sensational half-hour set supporting The Glitter Band on April 9th at London King Cross venue Scala, picked the teams last night. Unfortunately, his team floundered to a 5-2 defeat. The game was memorable for an uncontested penalty (the ball clearly hit Tone in the D) while Spizz's team was hit by an uncharacteristic poor performance
from young Sam for them.

Our team just gelled from the off with the two holding
players of Tone and Stevo. Our attackers Joe, Ross and Will began running in great positions confident that Tone would pick them out with some great passes. Stevo swept
up everthing in defence while I swore that Lardy Ian was actually playing box-to-box for us. Tone got the first goal for us with possibly a speculative shot, which was deflected (Big Dave?). Spizz's team did not get on the score sheet for ages and the match might have had a different outcome if the Spizz shot, which beat me all ends up
(not difficult) and hit the post, had actually gone in.
Alan Morg. got in a rare right-footed goal while Big Dave slotted the penalty for them. I think but can't remember that Tone got another goal while Stevo marked one on
the score sheet. The goal that broke their hearts came at the 4-2 stage, which was taken really well by Ross.

Advanced tickets for the gig are £11.50 and are available at sites such as ticketweb.com and flagpromotions.com while the other support acts are Angie Bowie and Tracie Hunter Band.

Spizzenergi are not mentioned on the electronic flyer on the ticketweb site but they are on the physical, laminated flyer in front of me.
The Flagpromotions.com site has Spizzenergi on the e-flyer.

Two part blog and Spizz promises blistering set!!

2010-03-27T02:27:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a two part blog and Spizz has promised me a blistering half-hour set
in the Spizzenergi support act for the Glitter Band on April 9th at London's Scala venue in Kings Cross. I am going despite being on a Friday night and missing my beloved footie. After the recent candid blog about classifications, which may be misconstrued as a polite way of saying to a guy, "you can't cut the mustard playing
football". Some of the boys have got their own back by suggesting that I move upstairs to being manager. Not even transitioning to being a "player manager", straight to
manager. I am staring at retirement in the face!!

Tickets for the gig, headliners the Glitter band, other support acts Angie Bowie and
tracie hunter band are available at sites such as ticketweb.co.uk at the advance price of £11.50. Spizzenergi are not mentioned on the electronic flyer on this site but are on the physical, laminated flyer in front of me.
Flagpromotions.com has the up-to-date e-flyer on its site.

Stop press:I am not being rotated this Friday!!

2010-03-24T01:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I pushed the boat out and Gashead Simon received some fine wining and dining in south Hertfordshire. The upshot is that I am not being rotated this Friday!!
OK, the Bristol Rovers fan just had a beer and fish & chips. On the previous blog I should have put myself down as B/C as I am quite good at zonal defence while Spizz is A/B because he often scores some very good goals.

Gashead's team cruise to 5-1 victory on Friday!! Classification of players!!

2010-03-22T08:44:00.000-07:00

Despite my illness and the sorry state of the railway service I made it to watch the game on Friday night. When I eventually arrived after the start it was a close 1-1 draw but then it turned into a rout with Gashead's team cruising to a 5-1 victory. Gashead picked all the players he liked for his team such as Tone, Yev, Big Sam and Alan Morg, who are quite quick and good passers of the ball and then stuffed the opposition team with all the players he does not like such as Simon Ink., Geoff and perhaps the great man himself Spizz . These players don't like passing or can't pass. The opposition also had Alex, who is the best player on the field skillwise but again can't pass. It was Alex and Big Dave, who kept the opposition in it for so long.

There was one opportunity when Simon Ink. just had to backheel a freekick to Big Dave, who is famous for his powerhouse shots but Ink. lamely passed it to someone else, who was already marked. Ink. was oblivious to Dave's screams for the ball, possibly his ears were still affected by his recent trip to the Himalayas.

A few times Spizz was in so much room on the left it was embarrassing but he did he get the ball, well of course not. I would suggest a more mathematical or equation based
formula to selecting the teams. Players would be graded A, B and C and then we would have Venn diagram-based selection for the two teams. The A category players would be
Alex, Big Dave, his brother Stevo, Tone, Big Sam, Alan Morg. Mick K., Yev and Ross.
These are players, who can make things happen, who can produce.

Then, the B category are good players, who can pass the simple ball such as Gashead Simon, Doha Danny, Joe and Gooner Simon. Spizz and Henry are good players and are very useful attack-wise but let themselves down by not running back and by not passing.
Big Ian has more lard than you can imagine but he still has a turn of space from representing his school at county level in running. West Bromwich Ian has a good all-round game, quite good in goal but often shoots from too far out where his conversion rate of shots to goals is normally zero.

The C category include myself due to age, ailments and lack of fitness. Simon Ink. is a good dribbler, good in goal but is not a great passer, more head-down. Then there is Geoff, who is often late arriving for the game and is very inconsistent. He can either score a hat trick but nornally he can take absolutely ages in distributing the ball. Historically, Geoff never passes to me except during the last game I played in January when I fell over in shock. On the plus side he also one of the best goalkeepers with Big Dave and Gashead Simon.

Sheffield Andy's best position is also in goal or in central defence as a blocker because he has long limbs and is quite big. However, he often insists on hugging the touchline upfront, which is probably the wrong strategy in seven-a-side football.

The four best players are Big Dave, Mick K., Alex and Tone. Big Dave is also very proficient in Italian-style defending. Tone leads the vets (over 50s), which include
me, the oldest, Spizz and Simon. Alex Morg. is very good but only has one foot while
Ross is exceptional dribbling and shooting but is not one to track back. Yev has a killer instinct in front of goal, is very pacey but you could die of boredom, if you are waiting for a simple pass from him.

So last Friday's game was seven a side and Gashead Simon picked four A category players and three Bs for his side. Then, there were two As, three Bs and two Cs for the opposition, so no wonder they were eventually slaughtered. I was available for selection before a bout of chemo but apparently I am being rotated. It would have been a far tighter game if Big Sam had swapped over for Geoff or Simon Ink.

On a more sentimental note Simon Ink's girlfriend was still waiting for him even after his two month plus sabbatical in the Far East and Australia, which was quite romantic in this day and age. This contrasts with my position at the moment where the missus is giving me the ache.

Spizz goes down in 2-0 defeat!!

2010-03-16T06:33:00.000-07:00

Punk star Spizz went down in a two nil defeat last time. Apparently, he did not have his passing boots on according to jaundiced team mates. It was a case of the codgers versus the youngsters, which is always a recipe for disaster. There was not much time on the ball with eight a side.

I thought about going to watch or maybe being a referee. However, I would probably opt to play in goal, which would not do much for my fragile confidence. This is especially when I will get the inevitable brickbats after picking the ball out of the net.

On the wider footballing front I was saddened by Phil Brown going on gardening leave. I knew it would go pear shaped when he hinted at wider managerial ambitions in a television interview (hubris?) when Hull had that great start and were beating Arsenal at the Emirates. He did not realise he was just lucky enough to manage a Premier League team. Look at the number of managers, who have got the experience to handle the Premier League and are not doing so such as Hughes, Strachan, Curbs, Coppell and Megson.

Sorry to register a lack of match reports!!

2010-03-11T04:42:00.000-08:00

Dear Reader, I am sorry to register a lack of match reports. Nobody seems to want to send them or perhaps the games are too boring to share with you. Anyway, Spizz is
supporting the Glitter Band in April and he has been assured that Gary won't be there. I have to admit that Spizz was excellent when we saw him perform in the 100 Club last year, so there is life in the old dog yet.
As for today I am surprised that it has not been declared a national day of celebration following the elimination of Real Madrid by Lyon from the Champions League last night. My team Man Utd put AC Milan to the sword; well, Wayne did. Even the Gooners cruised through to the next round. I was having recurring nightmares that Ronaldo would line up for his third consecutive European Cup Final at the home ground of Santiago Bernabeu and thankfully this will not happen.
Years ago I was lucky enough to watch Nottingham Forest's rearguard action against Hamburg with Shilton and Burns absolutely amazing. Poor old Kevin Keegan trudged off defeated. That took place in Santiago Bernabeu.

Sorry to be behind on the match reports!!

2010-03-01T07:07:00.000-08:00

This is the report for the previous Friday from SteveA.

The initial selection favoured a Simon win so the sides were changed at 2-0 down. Big Davie swapped with Simon Redhead to join the Bibs composed of Spizz, Henry, SteveA, Ian Geary, Andrew and Joe. With the sides more balanced it was the Bibs against Simon and we crawled back to finally losing 4-3. On the whole, the Bibs were wayward in their shooting and only created chances when there was a patient build up of passing and movement off the ball.
www.spizzenergi.com
I will leave the rest to your imagination!
The Guv'nor comments:
In fairness to Simon Gashead, it is difficult to pick balanced sides. There are the vagaries of form and it is rare for a team to come back from 2-0 down. Rather than
knuckle down and try to mount a fight back, it is easier to make a slight
change.

This was Geoff's take on last Friday's match.

2010-02-18T06:16:00.000-08:00

A very tight 16 man game on Friday night and my team won 1-0 with Joe scoring the rebound from Big Dave's shot. A very tense game with a few hefty challenges, firm but fair. I played on at 7.45 and it was much less intense. Simon had another great game. Steve Aiton played a blinder for the other team. Not sure the sides were fair though.
www.spizzenergi.com
I am still struggling for fitness. As for the Gooners last night in Oporto, just pure comedy. Just what their legions of fans need.

Steve's team went down 3-1

2010-02-12T00:44:00.000-08:00

I did a telephone interview with Steve and he said his team went down 3-1. Apparently, it did not gel up front. Steve assured me that he did not clatter into anybody, which is part of his repertoire. Gashead was on the winning side after picking the teams (again?) and Alan Morg. got two good goals.
On the wider football front Pompey are still with us. It looks like HMRC has been very lenient with football clubs in the past and now it is baring its teeth.
No further news about Spizz's possible World Cup song for South Africa. I suppose the key part for a football anthem is the chorus.

Spizz will be providing the next match report!!

2010-02-05T08:51:00.000-08:00

Punk star Spizz will be providing the match report for tonight's game. However, I think the whole of world football has been overshadowed by the sacking of John Terry as England captain and by the comments of Tzofit Grant.
From what I can gather time speaking the alleged flings of Vanessa P. with Chelsea squad members coincided with the London team winning the league championship
two years running. Maybe, if some of our Friday-night players cavorted with French lingerie models then the football might improve.
Apparently, Tzofit says her husband Avram Grant can do anything he wants with his body. One of Tzofit's claims to fame, other than being married to a useless football manager, is that she was spanked by a sadomasochist in connection with her Israeli TV programme.

Spizz to record World Cup song for 2010?

2010-02-02T06:37:00.000-08:00

Appparently, there is a Facebook campaign to get Spizz to record another song for the World Cup campaign of England.
http://www.facebook.com/posted.php?id=268994338206
I wish there was a Facebook campaign for Spizz to wear his shooting boots because they were missing last Friday. However, the old boy did look pretty solid during his spell in goal.
It was a 1-1 draw with Ross scoring for us followed by a dramatic long-range shot from Big Dave to equalise. I had a poor game being out of sorts with my knee hurting and with me being sidelined from the game for the next few weeks. I asked a few of the guys to provide the reports and I would paste them up. However, everybody is too busy.
After not being passed to a few times, I moved from right back to take a very advanced position in the left-wing corner. Sometimes I kept warm by trying to clip at the heels of Big Dave. We were eight against their seven and it was disappointing that we did not take advantage of the extra man to register a win. Sheffield Andy had a strong game for us in defence while I thought Steve was very effective in midfield for them.

Last Friday sees titanic struggle end 5-4 to Spizz's team!

2010-01-25T07:52:00.000-08:00

Last Friday night was the first game of the New Year and ended 5-4 to Spizz's team. Simon Gooner had initially picked the sides, which were rejigged when Big Sam came on late. It was eight-a-side with team A having the experienced defenders big Dave, Mick K. and Big Sam while Danny the Diplomat sacrificed his attacking inclinations to stay back. Team A was augmented by Big Dave's brother Steve, Sheffield Andy, Ian and Spizz.
Team B had an attacking trident of Alex, Tone and Ross with Gashead and Joe playing on the left side. Goughie, me and Simon Gooner made up the eight.
We initially raced to a two nil lead with goals from Ross and Alex. Then, Big Sam made me lose concentration by pointing to the size of my post Xmas gut and then turned me finishing off with a low shot in the bottom corner. Team A then played a classic counter-attacking game with further goals by Mick K., Steve, Spizz and Sheffield Andy. We tried to get back into it with two goals from Tone, one a penalty, but to no avail.
I tried to explain to Spizz that his goal was more of the goalkeeper handling it into his own net but he was having none of it. He claimed the ball did not change direction and without action replay technology we were none the wiser.
Team A deserved to win but there was controversy over four penalty decisions. I rushed out of goal when Big Dave was storming through (where was the defence?) because I thought Joe had replaced me. However, he was hobbling into the D with an ankle injury. Sportingly, Team A were convinced not to press for a penalty although Big Dave had his misgivings. We then got two penalty decisions with one missed by Alex and then there was a strong appeal for another but the ball rolled out of the D after not being picked up by the goalie after a direct pass-back.
Alex and Tone played well for us but too often their defence was more organised and more resolute than we bargained for.
PS. Spizz has recently appeared on national TV!

"News 24 / You tube spizz
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQMbsCvrII8

We are really missing the footie!!

2010-01-15T04:01:00.000-08:00

What with Christmas Day and New Year's Day falling on a Friday and the additional cancellation of three games due to bad weather, we have'nt had a run-out for five weeks. Maybe the leisure centre should invest in undersoil heating!! I have been just itching to play after my dramatic goal in our last match.
My New Year Resolutions of giving up alcohol and improving my fitness have already gone for a burton. I won't be able to match Spizz, who has made great strides in his fitness over the last couple of years. He also has quite a bit of pace over the first two yards, which you need when you are leading the attack. Spizz is not quite as quick as Ross, who has really improved and is now a definite goal threat.

Last Friday night saw a 2-2 draw with a dramatic finale!

2009-12-14T02:35:00.000-08:00

Spizz made a welcome return from Italia, which he said was 110 pct on the enjoyment scale. Again, we had an eight-a-side game with space at a premium. Spizz was thwarted with a couple of saves by Sheffield Andy but we could not break down their defence. Then, Geoff got a first goal for them when a big hole opened up in the middle of our defence. This was followed by Steve making it two nil with a fine shot. We were making no headway so Gashead Simon changed the sides with Steve joining us for Simon Gooner.
This made the sides for us: Spizz, Will, Steve, Alan Morg., the Guvnor, Ian, Danny and Tone. Danny was making a welcome return from being based in Qatar for the Diplomatic Corp for a few years and he is a Liverpool fan.
For them were Simon Ink, Simon Gashead, Simon Gooner, Big Dave, Mick K., Sheffield Andy, Geoff and Ross.
We got back into it with a disputed penalty, which was slotted home by Steve and so he scored for both sides. I tried to push up and was linking up with Will on the right. The minutes were ticking way when Alan Morg. got free on the left and put over a precision cross. I was moving backwards to avoid being in the D and I had to admit that I was visualizing the goal before I passed the ball into the net. Simon Ink. was unable to get across in time and Mick K. said afterwards that commemorative stamps and coins might have to be issued. Spizz commented that over the years he has only seen me score three goals!!
To milk the moment I did a Charlie George style FA Cup final celebration on the
ground and the team piled in. This made it 2-2 with just minutes to go. I thought we were going to nick it at the end but the next game clanged the gate to come on and that was it. I feel sorry for regulars Ian Goughie and Big Sam, who missed the match and perhaps the goal of the season. Tone and Alan Morg. kept us in the game while Steve was man of the match playing for both teams. Mick K. and Big Dave were very organised for them while Ross was a handful. Gashead Simon had a solid game on the left but might have been more effective if he switched with Geoff to the other wing.

Big Dave marshalls a 3-0 shut-out for us.

2009-12-08T06:33:00.001-08:00

With an unprecendented eight-a-side, Big Dave marshalled a 3-0 shut-out for us. There were reappearances from Will for us and from Phil B. for them. Ever-present Spizz was absent last Friday as he was to warble in Bologna (Italy) on the Saturday night.
Their side had pacey players in Ross, Alex and Henry but they were kept being pushed back by our well-organised defence. Will got our first goal followed by Tone and Big Sam. The Tone shot seemed to fly past a despairing dive by Gashead in goal. Big Sam played a "Mascherano" role in front of our defence while Alan Morg. had a good game for us.
On their team confidence seemed to ebb away following the first goal. Ian Goughie sacrificed his natural attacking inclinations to play back while Phil B. showed some rare pieces of skill with his sweet left foot.
In the pub Sheffield Andy got talking about a football tour of Sheffield. It is early days yet and it is not as glamorous as France or Germany but we could be going as long as the opposition is not too intimidating.

Spizz hits post twice in dramatic game!!

2009-11-30T06:32:00.000-08:00

Punk star Spizz, who is going to Bologna (Italy) for a gig this weekend, hit the post twice in a dramatic game last Friday. The first was an explosive left-foot shot
when I was in goal. The second was with his right foot. Spizz described the first in terms of "Roy of the Rovers" in the pub later saying it was his best ever left-foot shot.
However, Spizz's team ran out losers after a 3-1 win was clinched by two rare goals
from Geoff, who had come on late and upset the balance of both sides having six players each.
We were in the lead with a precision shot from Alan Morg. and then with six against seven, Geoff sealed the win with his two goals. They got one back when I thought I had Ross covered but he turned sharply and netted from a central position. His cousin Henry did not have his shooting boots on compared with the previous week. The game was livened up by a spat between Gashead and Big Dave.
Afterwards, Big Dave said he was a bit annoyed about our team's propensity to use the back pass as we were running down the clock. I must admit how Italian it
was.
Our star players were Alex and Alan Morg., who were quite pacey in midfield. The result would have been closer, if Spizz had a bit more luck since he had two other shots well-saved. Joe made a welcome return from injury for us and might have scored if had'nt been for a last ditch tackle from Big Sam. Sheffield Andy had the honour of playing for both sides when they were re-arranged after the belated arrival of Geoff.

Friday saw a pulsating 3-3 draw!!

2009-11-23T01:58:00.000-08:00

The game developed into a clash of the two titans of the dribbling game; Alex for us and
Ross for them. The opposition started the scoring with a smart goal from young Sam
and then we clawed back into the game with goals from Steve and Henry (2), probably
against the run of play. However, we were being pegged back by two goals from Ross.
I was the last defender both times but I was not close enough to snuff out the danger.
Alex and Ross seemed to have a good hack at each other in the corner when Ross popped out like a jack-in-a-box to equalise 3-3 with an angled shot past Steve in goal and this was despite my despairing tackle. Ross could have won it for them at the end following a precision pass by Goughie but it fell onto his weaker left foot.
Spizz did not have a shot on goal for us since he was playing too deep.
On our side were Alex, Gashead, Geoff, Henry, Spizz, Steve and me while they had Ross, Big Dave, the two Ians, young Sam, who was substituted by his mate Adam,
Simon Gooner and Simon Inkp. At the end we were hanging on a bit due to a lack of tracking back and poor positional play. Sometimes we would have three players hugging the left touchline, who would be out of the game when the ball bounced into the middle.

This is Spizz's take on last Friday's game!!

2009-11-16T04:58:00.000-08:00

Hi P,
Footy score:
Team with 6 players 2 v team with 5 players 2 (Spizz 2).

It was a draw but we had one player less! Tough game fitness-wise, I scored
both our goals with my left foot because.. (as I tell and bore everybody)
footballers should be able to use both feet, especially considering how much
they get paid! Ross got the equaliser to make it 2-2. I can't remember who
their 1st goal. My 1st goal was from distance, a few yards inside their
half.

Team with 5: Simon (Arsenal), Spizz, Big Dave (Scot), Jeff (the comedian),
Tony (film)

Team With 6: Big Andy (Sheffield), Simon (turned 50), Ian G (Jesus), Big Ian
(Arsenal), Ross, Sam (artist)

After a break I returned to the fray!!

2009-11-11T03:19:00.000-08:00

I had to go to a quiz night recently but I was back in the thick of things last Friday. Again, it was an eight-a-side match but both teams played a good passing game. Unfortunately, I had a senior moment and did'nt remember that Henry scored a goal for us when I was telling his cousin Ross in the pub about his lack of composure in front of goal. Sorry about that!
The main event of the evening was the celebration of Simon Gashead's 50th birthday. His brother-in-law Andy organised the present, which was a Bristol Rovers shirt, and with our drinks in the pub we had a buffet. The game itself was a wet affair but at least the local kids did not throw crackers on the pitch as sometimes happen around November 5th. We were losing 3-0 but then changed the teams swapping our big centre forward Goughie for Alan Morg., who had scored one of their goals. Spizz got the first goal of the night with a shot, which saw the ball nestling in the corner of the net.
We managed to claw back two goals but in the end we lost 3-2. Their defence was well-marshalled by Mick K., who was gingerly coming back from a knee injury. I was playing right back and had to face a resurgent Geoff P., who has started to play a quicker passing game. He used to be well-known for mazzy dribbles, which went down blind alleys. Our defence was held together by Big Dave, while his brother Steve stayed in goal for the opposing side due to his first match back after a knee
injury.
Until recently I was the only 50 plus player but now we have got three with me, Gashead and Spizz himself. Tone reaches this milestone on Christmas Day and so we are giving a lot of years when we play against young eighteen year old Sam, who sometimes helps us out if we are down on numbers. Last week Tone played excellently for a spell and then just stayed back saying that he was knackered.
In the pub Spizz revealed that he was enjoying learning a bit of Italian and the group will be playing a gig in Bologna soon.

Eight a side leads to one-one draw!!

2009-10-26T06:52:00.000-07:00

In a rare game of eight a side, the result was a close one-one draw. Joe outstripped me a bit and I should have put my foot in. The result was that he steered the ball into the net for a one goal lead. We only managed to get a draw quite late on when Simon Gooner passed to me on the left and I somehow crossed the ball to an unmarked Alan Morg. who slotted the ball in past Goughie in goal.
In between these two events Spizz gave me a pep talk about my attacking abilities, which even I admit are sadly non-existent nowadays. While both sides played a good passing game even though it was very crowded. It was a good debut for Ross, who selected the teams.
Just a note for the statistics. We had three Simons play for our team: Gashead, Inkp. and Gooner while Big Sam was immense in defence. Alan Morg. hit the post for us when it was still nil-nil but Big Dave marshalled his defence well.

I have been selected for tonight's game!!

2009-10-23T03:00:00.000-07:00

I have just been talking to the manager and I have been selected for tonight's game.
Last week Spizz was in our goal and did not even flap at a long-range effort from Goughie, which streched their lead. We tried to fight back but to no avail. We have been benefitting from the incisive midfield play of Alex but have been lacking firepower on the attacking side, which has been a little stacked in favour of Big Dave.

One of our players, Alan Morg. has been in the wars healthwise and our best wishes go out to him.

The last two games have hinged on selection!!

2009-10-12T02:41:00.000-07:00

The last two games have hinged on team selection with a 5-2 followed by a 3-1 and the stronger of the two teams registered comfortable victories. Spizz scored fine goals in both games. The 3-1 match saw a long-range effort not really gathered up efficiently by me, who had a couple of spells in goal. Gashead scored a fine goal for us but the match was put to bed by Ross, when he received a pass unmarked in front of the centre of goal.
Steve is out for a bit with a twisted knee after a 50-50 clash with Alex. This led him to go in goal and we steadily improved the score to 5-2. Big Dave was defending heroically but he could not keep us out.
For the past two games we have been graced by the appearance of an another Arsenal fan called Henry. He has a head-down approach to football and creates a few chances. Last week Henry hit the post from a narrow angle, which was unlucky.

Sorry about the delayed blogs!! Spizz is back!

2009-09-25T03:07:00.000-07:00

Last week Spizz got a stunning long-range effort in the back of the net. The match ended two-two. The previous game he played well during a cantankerous game where Goughie walked off over the alleged gamemanship of Big Dave. This game finished eventually four-two to Big Dave's team.
I have been trying to persuade Joe H. to do the blog and go on about his two recent goals. However, he was too modest.
Last week's two-two could have been decided by Tone but he blazed over with the goal at his mercy on his weaker right foot. I don't know if it is my worsening memory but the games are becoming a blur and I can't remember the goals clearly, except Spizz's of course.
Our game has been joined by young Alex, who does these mazy dribbles and this invites some stiff tackling from opponents. This can politely lead to words. Alex is pretty skilful and this has helped make the match more entertaining.

Hopefully Spizz will be back tonight on the footie field.

2009-09-11T00:24:00.000-07:00

Let's hope Spizz did not do himself an injury after wowing the crowds in two concerts last week and can make a welcome return to the astroturf tonight. Last week I played through the pain barrier a bit but I have shaken off the ache in my leg after resuming cod liver oil
tablets. I have also been having trouble with getting the suitable footwear so I might be wearing my gym trainers tonight.
Also I might have news of a foreign tour to take place in early February. It always fun playing abroad. Dodgy referee, hostile crowd etc. See if the team will go for it.
The possible flight seems ridiculously cheap but we will see how we go.

It was a very creditable two-two draw last Friday.

2009-09-07T02:59:00.000-07:00

With Spizz rocking in Leuven during the weekend, it was a rare match without the punk star. The team selection by Goughie (I think it was him) was spot on and we had a very creditable two-two draw. With honours shared, Big Dave and Ross caught the eye on our team and Alex and Stevo did very well for the opposition.
Alex is quite a young lad compared to the dinosaurs of me and the Gashead, who was wittering about last week's match of Bristol Rovers against Wycombe, and does these mazy dribbles. He scored one of their goals while Stevo got a rare shot on target and it went in from quite a long way out. I was in goal for the Alex effort, which was expertly placed and beat my despairing efforts. Alright, I knew it was going in and I just picked the ball out of the net. I don't do diving saves, mainly using my feet. The Stevo effort was probably down to goalie error but it was not me this
time.
Ross got our two goals and shone in attack. Big Dave, Stevo's brother, marshalled things in defence and I played through the pain barrier in the right back position.
There were two new debutants Nick and Mark, who played quite well. It takes time to get used to the astro turf surface. Nick did some quite good dribbles while Mark got some strong running in, not quite box-to-box but nearly there.

Spizz played a blinder last night!!

2009-09-04T01:24:00.000-07:00

Last night at the world-famous venue of the London 100 Club, punk star Spizz played a blinder. The band was really rocking (do punks rock?) but there were great versions of "Soldier, Soldier" and "Where's Captain Kirk". I went along to tell Spizz
to take it easy so as to play footie tonight but he can't make it because they have a gig tomorrow (Saturday) in Leuven. Spizz is especially looking forward to this concert since the Belgian university town is also the home of Stella Artois.

Back to last night's London gig, the crowd was an eclectic mix with youngsters and office workers. One wore his tie throughout. There was a bit of pogo dancing at the front and there was a good atmosphere. Spizz made sure the Friday night footie players were catered for in ticket terms, which was a nice gesture. Goughie did a bit of heckling with his calls for "Virginia Plain" and Spizz duly complied with a great cover version at the end of the set. Mick K. and Steve made up the numbers from
Friday night footie with quite a few players on holiday or washing their hair.

I am looking forward to Spizz's gig this Thursday!!

2009-09-01T08:04:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday I went to one of my second cousins' weddings and all the details worked. Everything clicked into place. The church service was not too long, the canapes at the reception were morish while the meal, speeches and our table were a delight.
I hope the Spizz gig this Thursday at the 100 Club on London's famous Oxford Street should also click into place. Steve has been trying to rally a few of the footie guys around but a lot of the team seem to be on holiday.
Anyway, I am working out how my battered body will take more punishment with the Spizzenergi concert this Thurday followed by footie on the Friday. Although as per usual from Gashead, there is no official confirmation that I will be playing this Friday.

Just to keep the posts rolling along!!

2009-08-24T09:22:00.000-07:00

I wonder who will win the Premier League or will World Cup Fever take over? We will be looking forward to Spizz on September 3rd. Or is it the fourth when he is strutting his stuff on the astro pitch? Unfortunately, my fitness campaign has fizzled out and that extra ten yards of pace have truly been lost. I can't remember when I last scored in open play. I just don't
want Spizz running round me and placing the ball sweetly into the net over the next few weeks.

The Spizz concert is on Thursday, September 3rd.

2009-08-06T11:52:00.000-07:00

Spizz has asked me to clarify to my readers that the anniversary gig is on Thursday,
September 3rd. I am going to lend my support to the evening. It is at the 100 Club
in London's West End. This is a bit of stuff from the Great Man himself, who was in the Guardian last week, "a British left-of-centre newspaper to provide context for our foreign readers. This is from Spizz:

First quotes by me reproduced where it appears I know what I'm talking
about!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2009/jul/31/indie-chart-rise-again (+ in the actual newspaper there was a wee plug for the gig Sept 3rd Yay!)
Thursday 3rd September
SPIZZENERGI 30th Anniversary gig @ The 100 Club Oxford St. London, W1D 1LL
tickets on sale http://www.wegottickets.com/event/45576 £10 Adv. £13
Saturday 5th September
SPIZZENERGI Leuven, Belgium Support: Absolute Body Control €15
http://www.hetdepot.be/index.php?id=72&tx_depot_pi1[uid]=264
SPIZZENERGI
Sat Nov 21st Bologna tbc (or December)
*******************************************************

Personally, I would not mind seeing Spizz in Italy. I know he and the band did well in Milan. This is as long as it does not clash with the football, I should be alright.

To fill in the Spizz football blog in the summe.....

2009-07-30T07:11:00.001-07:00

To fill in the Spizz football blog in the summer break, I am going to ask the lads to detail their holiday experiences (playing football on the Copabacana beach?). Or staycation events since Kev is allowing some of our lot to play in the 7.45pm game after us (but not me!!). I am going to get the ball rolling with a long treatise on the Danish capital of Copenhagen and reviewing its particular horrors and delights.

Horror number one of going to Copenhagen is the high VAT rate of 25 pct. So, no point of visiting there for a booze-up since you will need a small personal loan for the party or stag-do. Yet Brits seem to be the main tourists there, no Germans were there although I found a German Protestant church by accident when I was trying to
find a Catholic one.

Horror number two of going to Copenhagen is the lack of police on the streets. I have felt safer near Forty Second Street in New York during the pre-Guiliano period. The hotel was located next to the red light district. The Danish police love speeding down the big boulevards of Kobenhavn. However, for you the tourist victim it would be too late. The miscreants would be long gone when Danish plod turned up. If I paid so much in tax, I would want a decent police service, which would focus on preventive measures.

Horror number two does not apply to the Tivoli gardens. This is in the centre of Copenhagen and employs tall unarmed security guards. The fact is that, mostly, the Danes are very well-behaved and well-educated. So what is responsible
for all the low-level crime. I think you know the answer. It must be the
drugs. Some tosser half-inched some of my harmless medication, which I had foolishly left in the hotel room. Did I report it? What is the point? Had it been pinched or did I throw it in the bin by mistake? Well the most valuable drugs in monetary terms had gone missing.

Horror number two could be a delight if you like to walk past youngsters openly taking heavy-duty drugs or if you are actually interested in prostitutes.

Horror number three is that there is not much in the way of signs on the trains and metro trains. So you could easily get on the wrong one! On the way back to the airport we found ourselves returning to the main station.

Delights number one and two are that the Danes are quite friendly and virtually all speak English.

Delight number three is that despite the high prices they are not rip-off ones. The quality and quantity of the Danish food and Danish beer can be very good. All the
main dishes seem to start at DK 190 each, so there is not much in the way of price competition. While for the price of a coffee and cake, you might as well have a main meal. We saw a lot of drinks being nursed by tourists and Danes alike.

Delight number four is that the boys and girls are so good-looking. Must be all that cycling they do. When private cars finally disappear off our streets, the Danes (with the Dutch) will be well-prepared. This is due to their cycling abilities and
to their existing infrastructure such as cycling lanes and cycle compartments on the
trains. Push bikes are often left unlocked, when in London they would be nicked in five minutes. (This delight is absolutely amazing!!)

Delight number five is the Tivoli Gardens, which Walt Disney apparently visited and gave him the idea for Disneyland in the United States. There are lots of bars and
restaurants as well as rides. The DKr 80ish entrance fee was offset by the fact that
the Kaiser Chiefs from dear old Blighty were playing at 10pm. This gig was sponsored by the brewery company Tuborg. I thought the Kaiser Chiefs played pretty well, although there was not much of a response from the cool and very good-looking Danes standing next to us at the back. I got the sense the concert would have been a right hoot, if it had been held in Ibiza (don't mention the drugs again!!).

Delight number six is that the museums are world-class, especially the Viking exhibits. Denmark was a major imperial power and Copenhagen reflects that history.
Controlling Sweden and then little places like Greenland.

Delight number seven is the canal tour. I did let the side down by shouting out "hurrah" when the guide informed us that the British Navy (Nelson et al) had destroyed the Danish Navy in the Battle of Copenhagen (late 18th Century). The guide was amazing doing the spiel in Danish, English and Spanish but not in the language of Schiller and Goethe (German literary giants).

This Copenhagen piece is the personal view of the Guv'nor and is not in anyway related to Spizz the punk star. However, saying that maybe we should move the destination of the Spizz football tour. It could go from Germany to Denmark, if we can't find a game? I would love to go back to Copenhagen (Kobenhavn).
www.spizzenergi.com

I am missing the Friday night fix of seven-a-side football!!

2009-07-17T07:02:00.000-07:00

With the mid-summer break because we can't really get the numbers, I am still missing the Friday night fix of seven-a-side football. Truth to be told I am also missing the dulcet tones of Spizz and his incisive running off the ball. At the moment (touch wood) Spizz has not been running off to the puffer behind the goal after the first sprint of the match. His overall fitness has come a long way. Spizz often makes these diagonal runs from the wing so as to shake off (if he has one) his marker. These diagnoal runs can be quite effective.
I have just sent off a missive to Mick K. for ideas to put in the blog during the mid-summer break since he is in the creating writing game (he is a journo). So watch this space.
During August, I might gatecrash Cliff and Kevin's game, which comes on after us on Friday nights. They play through the summer. It is a mixed ability game ranging from Umma's step-overs to some pretty agricultural passes by other players. However, both Cliff and Kevin are quite decent players. Spizz and Big Dave sometimes
play and I am not (currently) high up on the waiting list.
As an addition to British cultural life Spizz and his combo are playing the 100 Club in London on September 4th, which should be a gas.

Last week was the last match before the summer break.

2009-07-02T03:04:00.000-07:00

Last Friday was the last game before our summer break. We reconvene in September.
I will be at a bit of a loss on Friday nights. Spizz told me off for putting down
three rather than four goals for his haul the previous week. I promised to correct this oversight.
Quite a bit of effort was taken in picking the sides so that they would not be too unbalanced. However, Big Sam was nursing a hamstring injury and had to go in goal for them. Despite this the game was
evenly matched for a long time. Spizz's side took the lead with a longish range shot
from Alan. Then, we got back into it with a great shot from Mick K., which went in
off the post to square it at one all. Alan, Tone and Big Dave were keeping them in it while we benefitted from the defensive organisation of Mick K.
I was playing very defensively keeping an eye on Sheffield Andy, then somehow I got away on the right wing. The play had opened up. If I could cross the ball to Ross past Tone then he could score. Amazingly, this happened but for an agonising moment I thought Ross had not got control of the ball. This gave us a merited 2-1 win and for the first time in many weeks Spizz had not scored a goal.
Afterwards, I asked Cliff about playing in their game over the summer and I got some waffle about numbers, so I think that was a no. I will be looking to build up my fitness over the summer and looking forward to Spizz's concert in September.
In the pub afterwards we named Ross as the most improved player, although he did come up with the controversial proposal to ban penalties, so as to avoid the petty arguments. I told him I liked the petty arguments!!
Arsenal Simon treated us to a short to celebrate his forthcoming nuptials. The proceedings were livened up when a shapely blonde identified herself to Tone and Gasman as a fellow Bristol Rovers following their earlier Gashead chants in the pub.

Spizz is on the winning side yet again!! (Corrected)

2009-06-23T06:57:00.000-07:00

Spizz has corrected me on this week's blog. He scored four goals rather than three and could have got another one if it had not been chalked off. My only defence in not
reporting the four goal haul was me trying to block out remembering my nightmarish
defending.
I don't know how he did it but Spizz was on the winning side again last Friday. He garnered three goals and the hat trick was mainly achieved by waltzing past me and then calmly shooting past our goalkeeper. We did not have much in the way of defence.
Tone was out of sorts because of the mismatched sides. I don't know why Ian and Gashead did not track back. Obviously, I did not look good trying to mark two people
and I considered bodychecking Spizz to stop him waltzing past me but I don't see the point of fouling people.
Their team also had Stevo and Ross, two strong, quick attackers and while we had Big Dave, this was not enough to keep out the torrent of attacks. We got to 6-3 down
and then they wrapped the game up at 9-3. There was a stage of the game when I kept passing it to Stevo.
This Friday is our last game before our summer break when we reconvene in September.
I hope it is a good one.

Was it a penalty or not?

2009-06-15T10:10:00.000-07:00

Friday#s free-flowing game was dominated by claims, vocally led by Spizz, that Big Dave had controlled the ball outside the penalty area when he was the goalkeeper. The de facto ref Gashead was unfortunately miles away from the action and somehow the decision arose to deny the penalty.
Spizz was still on the winning side (I made it seven-six) while he scored a fine goal after a swivel and shot close to the penalty area eluding his marker Steve. I was unfortunately (that word again) was in goal at the time and had to pick the ball out of the net. The opposing side played a better passing game than us.
Afterwards, the beer garden at the Fountain was full so we had to stay indoors. Big Dave and I had a discussion on the consequences of the Ronaldo transfer. Spizz was at the other end of the table but thankfully there was no continuation of the heated argument about the penalty decision.
The soon-to-be wife of Arsenal Simon arrived on the scene and we wished them all the best after ascertaining that marriage would not affect his participation in the Friday night game.